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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Breastfeeding -WWYD in my situation.

11 replies

lbsjob87 · 07/08/2014 12:34

Would you stop if you were in this situation?
DS is 6 weeks old - he was EBF for the first few days (born by Elective C Section), but would only feed from one side.
On Day 4, that breast became incredibly hot and painful, MW said it was blocked and to try expressing from it instead.
Obviously being ECS, my milk took a bit longer to come in and the non-blocked breast wasn't satisfying him either, so I decided to try mix feeding.
I've managed to keep this up now for six weeks. I BF at every opportunity, at least four out of six feeds but he is never satisfied for long.
I also express 15 minutes per breast every few hours (depending on when he's fed).
He can feed from one breast for up to an hour then the other, then back again - he's latching on fine and is clearly drinking/eating (I never know which!) throughout. He's calm and happy, so obviously his hunger pangs go.
But within minutes, literally, he will scream for more and down a 4oz bottle.
Only then is he full.
But he's also suffering badly with constipation and all the advice suggests formula makes it worse (what else could it be, tbf?)
To add to the mix, my OH has gone back to work this week on nights - he does 7 ina row - we usually alternate night feeds - so I have lost the chance to sleep while he does one of them.
I also have a 5yo DD, (who was ff due to health issues) so at the moment I am up pretty much all night (Bf then FF takes about an hour and a half, every 2-3hours) but also up all day. OH needs his sleep as he has a safety critical job and as I said, does 7 shifts back to back then two late shifts.
. He isn't off again for a week, then only for two days.
I can send 5yo out for the day occasionally but am conscious of not farming her out so I can concentrate on her brother.
On top of that, I've now been told I have very high blood pressure (first time ever) and am on beta-blockers, I'm so tired I am literally hallucinating (the other night, when the baby eventually settled, I GENUINELY thought a proper nanny had come in to my room while I was asleep. I couldn't SEE her, but I could imagine her IYSWIM) and I am feeling more and more inadequate at it.
So, after all that - WWYD in my situation.

A - Would you stop, pat yourself on the back and say "Well done, six weeks is a good effort, and formula never did DD any harm?"

Or B - stick with it as it is probably the only way to clear his constipation and it might get easier?

PLEASE don't start with the "breast is best" line - I don't need a guilt trip. I need practical advice and moral support.
BTW, I have spoken to HV, practice nurse and 2 BF advisers - they all say bm is better than fm but it's my decision.

So WDID?

OP posts:
loudarts · 07/08/2014 13:22

You have done an amazing job breastfeeding for six weeks and should be proud of yourself for accomplishing that. In your situation I would probably switch to formula as a happier mum generally means happier baby. But whatever you decide don't let anyone make you feel bad about it, you will make the right choice for baby and your family. X

concernedaboutheboy · 07/08/2014 13:27

I would say do whatever is best for your health and sanity. If it's FF, the world will not end, not at all.

Blueuggboots · 07/08/2014 13:32

If you think formula feeding him will satisfy him more and give you chance to sleep, then go for it!!
There are other ways to help constipation.
Really really well done for managing to ebf after an ECS!! That's impressive.

GoogleyEyes · 07/08/2014 13:37

I would find my local IBLC and ask for an urgent appointment, if you can afford to do so.

www.lcgb.org/

That way, you will get gold standard advice, which NCT and NHS breast feeding advisors sadly don't always give. If that advice works and baby and you both feel better, then great. If not, you know you gave it your best shot and did all you could.

I've heard an IBLC advise stopping breast feeding, due to family circumstances and various medical issues, so IME they are very balanced and really do listen to what the mum needs and wants.

noblegiraffe · 07/08/2014 13:45

Are you sure he's constipated? Bfed babies often poo less than a ff one so if you ff your first your poo expectations might be a bit off? Is the poo little rabbit pellets or is it soft?

Why are you expressing? Would your life be less stressful if you knocked that on the head?

At the moment you seem to have the worst of all worlds. The faff of making up bottles, the pain in the arse that is expressing, and the endurance test that is long bfeeds through the night. If you quit bfing, that would take away 2 out of the 3 stresses and this would certainly go towards helping your blood pressure.

Don't feel guilty about farming your 5 year old out either. Babies are boring to be around and she'll have fun not being cooped up all the time - it will be good for her.

PollyP0429 · 07/08/2014 15:49

I'm usually a big bf advocate, if you wanted to continue as this stage though I think the only way you could do it would be to cluster feed. Considering your situation this sounds unrealistic however should you choose to - loads of skin to skin, pick a day (or as many as you can) strip off, stick a pillow on your lap with DS and just let him come on and off as he pleases, switch breasts every half hour or so.

You could have a movie day with DD snuggled up so as not to exclude her and have a handy little runner. This is hard, tiring work but once you've done it for a little while your supply should increase enough to satisfy him.

You could also try fenugreek and fennel tea to help supply and let down respectively.

As I say though, this is extremely hard work and if you choose ff I wouldn't blame you. You've done really well to get this far and you deserve a huge pat on the back. I have no advice with ff as my DD is ebf, but everyone else's comments sound helpful for that side :) I just wanted to give you another perspective. HTH

ithoughtofitfirst · 07/08/2014 16:17

I gave up bf after 2 months. For completely different reasons but I gave myself a MASSIVE pat on the back and didn't look back.

I love Polly's advice and tips for your particular situation. Might be worth a go if you will be sad to stop bf.

Whatever you decide though... you will still be entitled to feel proud of yourself! I would!

theborrower · 07/08/2014 19:42

Honestly? Wwid? I'd switch to FF. You're BFing, expressing and FFing, no wonder you are knackered. You've done a bloody good job so far but if it was me (and I've been in the situation of doing all three at the same time before, and I know how knackering it is, I ended up switching) I'd want something a bit more stable. And some sleep Smile

Toohotforfishandchips · 07/08/2014 23:25

I mixed fed both of mine for different reasons and they are now 2.5 and 4.5. I bf til 7 months both times. I would truely do whatever suits you best. BF is great and I think polly is right. I think women should be supported and to to give it a go if they want to. But FF is also great and I was FF as were my fit heathy PHD from top universities nieces and loads of kids I know. Grin

bakingtins · 09/08/2014 10:22

I agree with googley that I'd get an IBCLC opinion before deciding. Has he been checked for TT? Being unsatisfied after an hour long feed suggests he is not transferring milk efficiently, so he's happy enough whilst suckling but still hungry at the end of it. Over time that will impact on your supply so it's a vicious circle.
I had to do the feed/express/top up routine with DD and it is bloody hard work and the worst of all worlds, no shame in saying it's too much, but I'd want to know I'd tried everything.
One thing you might want to consider/ discuss with BF counsellor is restricting the length of the feed to make it more manageable. My dad who is a retired paediatrician said most milk transfer happens in the first 10-15 mins. What worked for us was 15 min BF, express both sides with hospital grade double pump for 10 mins, top up with whatever was expressed, repeat 3 hourly. We only needed to do this for a couple of weeks until TT was corrected and DD got bigger and more efficient, I wouldn't have been able to sustain it long term as I have 2 older children.
good luck!

lbsjob87 · 09/08/2014 12:05

He's definitely not TT, bakingtins, the HV and MW both checked.
I think I will email IBLC and see what they say.Not sure we can afford it but I will ask.
I'm currently going "cold turkey" on the HVs advice, as I was exhausted.
Physically, I feel better already, he feeds faster and goes back to sleep straightaway, which is massive when you are doing night feeds alone.
But every time I give him a bottle, part of me feels sad and distant, as if he's not mine. I'm fine the rest of the time, just when I feed him.

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