Desperately want to feed my little girl

[jazbrooks]

My little girl is now 8 weeks old and I have been struggling to feed her for the last 2 weeks. My breastfeeding support worker warned me to expect a growth spurt around 6 weeks and that my boobs might not feel as full but this has been going on too long now. At the end of every feed she is very unsettled and wants to feed for longer. I do breast compressions, feed her on both sides and let her suckle as much as she wants but I am getting sore and tired and my milk supply doesn't seem to be catching up with what she needs.
I have a 3-year-old son who is demanding of my attention and very active and boisterous. I am trying to rest but it is very difficult and my husband works shifts. My mum comes and helps when she can but she works full time as well. I don't really have anyone else I can ask.

I am drinking lots because I thought it might be that but it doesn't seem to make much difference. I am taking fenugreek, vitamins and superfoods.
The exact same thing happened with my boy around this time and I started combination feeding but my milk supply dwindled very quickly so I want to avoid that at all costs.

It's so upsetting that she never detaches voluntarily anymore and I never get that drunk on milk baby anymore either. I have to stand up with her and bob around instantly after every feed and cross my fingers that she will be ok. If she cries I try feeding her again and sometimes she can get a bit more milk after waiting a few minutes. By this stage she can be frustrated and her little legs are going ten to the dozen and she is really pulling on my boobs.
I would appreciate any help from anyone. I'm willing to try anything as I so desperately want to carry on breastfeeding.
Help me please!!!!

If you are sore, it sounds like her latch might not be as good as it could be? Are you able to get in touch with a breastfeeding counsellor?

When she finishes on the 2nd side can you put her back on the first? How often does she feed?

Thanks for the suggestions. I've seen a breastfeeding counsellor who said the latch was ok. I think I'm getting sore because she is trying to feed when there's no milk there. Although to be fair it is sometimes tricky to get a good latch because she is fussy near the boob, there are little hands everywhere! But I'm quite confident that I know a good vs bad latch. It was fine for weeks before this started. That's what's so upsetting, it was going so well until a few weeks ago.
I do put her back on the 1st side again when she's finished the 2nd.
She feeds every 3 hours. She will go a bit longer between feeds at night.

I'm not an expert but have you had her checked for silent reflux not sure how they would check but it could be? Or maybe even wind if she is unsettled after every feed?

Sorry I'm not an expert just hope you can find a reason as from what I have read it is very very rare to not have enough milk if you have no other conditions etc that would cause low supply. Have you looked at la leche league website they are really good for breast feeding info.

kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/supply-worries/breast-fullness/

also this website has lots of info

If she's going 3 hours between feeds in the day and longer at night then it really doesn't sound like you have a supply problem. 3 hours is quite infrequent for a breastfed baby, if she was still hungry after a feed she'd want another feed much sooner than that. Is she gaining weight?

Are you managing to eat? Eat loads of full fat and sweet things. If you didn't put much weight on in pregnancy/ have lost quite a bit then maybe try and gain a bit?

Good luck and try not to beat yourself up. You are doing your best

Gaining weight or eating sweet things won't have an impact on milk supply.

I didn't know that Hollie, it's the advice my Hv gave me...happy to be corrected

If I thought too hard about it or worried, my milk would stop. If I switched on the tv and zoned out (very hard with other child I appreciate) it flowed out fast.

Sometimes the worry is half the issue

Unless you're actually on the point of starvation, altering your diet won't make a difference to your milk Elle. Lots of women lose baby weight while breastfeeding!

Is she putting on weight?

When you say "at the end if every feed she's unsettled and wants to feed more", what signals the end of the feed?

You're doing really well OP. This might just be a growth spurt and so will pass.

How long are the feeds? What you have said sounds pretty much within the realms of normal except the soreness. Is your nipple squashed when she lets go?

A couple of myths busted:

Some babies never come off themselves and always have to be released at the end of a feed. Don't worry about that.

There is ALWAYS milk there. You make it as she feeds. It might flow more slowly but it's there.

I wonder if you lost your confidence last time? I would go to a bf group if I were you. You will meet people who have been through the same and get another look at your latch to figure out the soreness.

This time is difficult fir lots of mums, there is not only a growth spurt but developmental changes that can make baby fussy. A BFC friend of mine also said that your milk making trigger changes from frequency of demand to 'emptiness' of breasts. So the more she feeds in this way the more you will make.

One day at a time. Sounds like you are doing really well, but you shouldn't be sore.

jaz so sorry you are facing this..

I think it will help to have a myth-busting convo with someone who knows about bf. Try any of the bf helplines

The less full feeling you get some weeks in is well within normal, as your supporter said. The full feeling may not come back - not because you are not making sufficient milk, though, but because the initial over supply many women have then settles down somewhat.

Drinking extra fluids, superfoods and vitamins make no difference - fenugreek may make a difference.

But what really drives supply is frequent feeding. If you really think your baby needs more than she is getting (and she may not!), feed her more often. If she doesn't want more, then she is almost certainly doing fine.

( Eating fattier and sweeter foods make NO difference to bf, and HVs who say this should be better informed!)

Could it be comfort sucking? My dd was similar, so we introduced a dummy. She still fed every 2 hours, but at least I could get a little break in between! Also taking her for a walk between feeds helped, she just liked being out and about if she wasn't feeding.

If you do decide to do combination feeding get advice as to the best way to do it. It doesn't necessarily have to mean the end of breastfeeding.

If she's unsettled after feeds it might just be that she wants you to keep holding her - have you tried a sling/wrap/carrier that lets you get on with things while keeping her close? Some babies do seem to be clingier than others...

Well done for getting this far as it sounds like you're doing an excellent job under tricky conditions!

Thanks for all your help and advice, mumsnetters are wonderful people!
I think I may have been doing too much, days out at the park and the beach, which are great but exhausting. I have taken the last two days out and and asked my dh to help with my ds as much as possible so I could concentrate on feeding my dd. We have snuggled lots, snoozed and had lots of skin to skin time. My dh has brought me meals and drinks in bed and my milk supply has been much much better. She is still a bit unsettled at times but it must be wind rather than hunger so I am keeping her upright after feeds and trying to do biological nurturing so she is more upright when feeding.
Result-happy baby, happy mummy!
It's so good when it works.

Sounds like things are calming and you're doing great.
Three hours does sound like long gaps between feeds, so I think she just be filling up on something! You're doing all the best things now, time out to build up your confidence again. Good luck!

Fab news! :)