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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Wet-nursing: Has anyone breastfed someone else's baby?

69 replies

Astrophe · 16/09/2006 13:16

Was just thinking about this the other day as my friend just had a baby and I am BFing mine...not that I'm planning on doing it, but it just struck me that I could, in theory, mind her baby and feed it...but then very thought of it makes me feel weird. And yet I know it was very common in the past, and possibly still is in some cultures.

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 16/09/2006 23:29

That article's lovely, 3ANM.

I have no qualms about feeding someone else's baby - heck the other day when DS2 was being very, very distractible and would NOT settle when we were out, I'd have cheerfully nabbed a newborn off a passer-by and stuck it up my top

WriggleJiggle · 16/09/2006 23:34

I'd love someone to feed mine - right now!

Anyone available? Oh, and at 1am, 2am, 3am etc as well if you please.

Original poster
Astrophe · 16/09/2006 23:37

and mine WriggleJiggle...perhaps we could do a wet-nurse share...like a nanny-share?

OP posts:
WriggleJiggle · 16/09/2006 23:38

bags I do the daytime shift

Original poster
Astrophe · 16/09/2006 23:41

Oooh no, I mean we employ someone else to wet nurse both our kids, and we go to the spa

OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 17/09/2006 08:51

Babies do definately notice - some Canadian friends of mine did babysitting for each other - their kids were a few months apart, and the couples were v close friends. One baby was happy to be fed by the "wrong" mum (and was non-sleeping unsettled sort of baby), the other wanted nothing to do with it (but was thankfully pretty mellow).

I think, if you want to do lots of swapsies, you want the babies used to feeding off both women. I know a local BFC recommended that to a lesbian couple she met, who were due within a few months of each other.

stitch · 17/09/2006 12:57

jaspar, how is it a silly rule?
if two babies are brestfed by the same women, for more than just the occasional, one off, chances are they share a great deal growing up. it merely recognises their relationship as siblings.
or perhaps you suggest siblings should marry?

hunkermunker · 17/09/2006 13:09

Not necessarily, Stitch - they are likely to have mothers who are close friends and share childcare. It doesn't make them siblings.

There are very good genetic reasons why siblings shouldn't marry and have children. I struggle to think of rational reasons why siblings shouldn't marry if they're not going to have children - my own feeling is "ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww, marry my brother?!" - because much as I love him, I certainly wouldn't want to marry him. I think nature usually works in that way with siblings

But sharing a few breastfeeds and a close upbringing as a reason for not marrying does sound a bit daft, sorry.

Spidermama · 17/09/2006 13:11

Yes. My sister's. She was having a well earned night out. He was about 5-6 months old. It worked really well. He went back to sleep and she had an extra couple of hours.

mears · 17/09/2006 13:14

I would breastfeed a friend/relaives newborn baby. My sister offered her baby for me to feed when I couldn't get the milk to flow when DS was on a ventilator after birth. The only reason I didn't to it was she was 8 months old and had teeth. I didn't reckon the baby would take to it. However I did go on to donate to a milk bank.

I personally would want my baby given EBM before formula and would not mind someone i knew breastfeeding my baby.

Stitch - I don't believe that having breastmilk from the same mother would make children as close as siblings - it would not change their genetic makeup. I think there is more to the thought behind it than that.

fuzzywuzzy · 17/09/2006 13:23

There is more to the wet nursed children being treated as siblings rule. Am looking it up.

In Islam it's considered normal, and culturally, in Arab countries the poor women would nurse the welathy children they were in effect employed as wet nurses, I thik it was also the done thing in India for a long time.

I'd nurse a child no problems, providing I knew the childs parents and had their permission.

liquidclocks · 17/09/2006 13:32

I would have preferred for DS to have EBM or be wet nursed than be FF from the start. DOn't know how I'd feel about feeding someone elses baby though having not successfully fed my own (yet). But in an emergency/time of need I'm sure I'd do it - I mean I'd give blood and that's even more personal isn't it?

Judy1234 · 17/09/2006 13:51

I latched on one of my sister's twins when they were quite small just to show her how to do it. He sucked. I'd stopped feeding my own about a year before so don't think he got very far but he was capable of latching on - which she wasn't managing so it was helpful to show her.

yellowrose · 17/09/2006 14:48

No, but I would do it gladly for a friend or relative if they asked ! I am bf my 2.3 year old toddler, so feeding a baby now would just mean I could start producing more for a baby

I have been thinking of adopting a baby (I can have more biological babies, but I like the idea of adopting an unwanted baby) and would even consider re-lactating for an adopted baby.

This has been done by women throughout history (how else did orphans or unwanted babies survive ?) so nothing weird about it in my book. The only thing I found objectionable when I read the "Politics of Breastfeeding" was the fact that the aristocracy here and abroad employed wet nurses as it was "unseemly" for an aristocratic woman to feed her own babies !

How very stupid and very sad !! Almost as stupid and sad as someone I know who employed a a nanny from the day his baby was born to bottle feed the poor child so that his wife wouldn't have to get up in the middle of the night !

Sorry, but I do find it extremely strange when I hear of mothers who can't be bothered to feed their own child (whether boob or bottle).

VeniVidiVickiQV · 17/09/2006 16:08

What does it mean if they drink milk from the same cow?

fuzzywuzzy · 17/09/2006 16:14

VVQ, it only pertains to being nursed by a woman.
We tend to eat cow products with abandon. I should think/hope people don't generally eat the woman who has nursed them.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 17/09/2006 16:18

LOl fuzzy. Only if you count breastfeeding as eating....

I was being a little flippant, but thank you for replying.

fuzzywuzzy · 17/09/2006 16:23

VVQ I figured you were being tongue in cheek (I was too), actually this point is pretty interesting and I will find out the reasoning behind it and post it (although I suspect only I am really wondering about the reasoning behind it)

VeniVidiVickiQV · 17/09/2006 16:27

LOL, no, please do find out. It would be interesting to know.

kayzed · 17/09/2006 16:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

largeginandtonic · 17/09/2006 17:28

Have breastfed my very good friends baby, he wasnt thrilled though! Would have gladly fed him and she would have fed mine if it was required. Was not weird in the least, people have been doing it for generations.

NotAnOtter · 17/09/2006 17:49

i fed my best freinds baby my ebm when they came to stay once...we laughed - it was quite odd!

Spidermama · 19/09/2006 13:40

Kayzed when I offered my nephew the breast there was a split second of him looking up and thinking, 'hang on, you're not mum' but he got over that almost straight away and had a good old feed. It felt really the same as feeding my own and allowed my sister to have a well earned break.

clairemow · 19/09/2006 13:43

I started a thread about this a while ago, it was interesting what people thought. I would definitely feed someone else's baby if needs be. But then I have a 2 week old who's just woken up for a feed, and the hormones make me feel I could feed a dozen babies!!!

nouni · 19/09/2006 17:42

i am trying to understand this. i find it really strange and something wrong with it. my husband was wet nursed and hes okey with it but i would lose it if that happened to my baby. i would not ever leave her with any muslim friends out of fear. do you do it without consulting the parents if you are keeping the baby or what? please tell me.

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