Is it worth continuing trying to breastfeed?

[Vespar7]

Hi,

DS1 is 3 days old today and I was told by my midwife that I need to start topping him up with formula because he isn't satisfied after feeding and he is quite jaundiced. I am really disappointed because with with DD1 this was basically the beginning of the end. She wasn't latching well so we would try breastfeeding, then giving a bottle and then pumping. I did this for 6 weeks and stopped because I was going crazy and wasn't enjoying my new baby anymore. I felt really awful about not being able to breastfeed for months afterward. This time I am trying to be less emotional about the whole thing. At the moment I am breastfeeding for about 40 minutes and then giving a bottle. The midwife said not to bother with pumping because DD1 is 21 months and it would be too much. Has anyone been in similar circumstances and succeeded in breastfeeding? Or should I just give up breastfeeding and save myself the effort? I would be really grateful to hear from others! Thanks

That's really weird advice - feeding every hour will be great for your milk supply and is really, really normal for a newborn on day 3! You are aiming for at least 10-12 feeds a day, offering both breasts frequently. Your baby needs to feed really often to get your milk in.

I would also avoid giving any water to a baby this young.

Thank you so much for all the replies. The midwife said he wasn't satisfied because he still roots around for the breast, sucks on his hands and cries even after a 40 minute feed. He has plenty of wet nappies but the last few days his poos have been quite small amounts and dark brownish. When I feed DS at the moment he will fall asleep in my arms and then the minute I put him down he wakes up and seems hungry again. Is this normal?

Yes, normal! Just keep feeding as much as possible, keep offering both breasts.

Have you had someone check his latch? Can you hear him swallowing? Are you comfortable as he feeds?

I think your hospital and midwife need to re visit their breastfeeding training.

Feeding every 1-2 hours in the early days is absolutely normal, that's how the milk supply gets going. Their tummies are tiny at that age, so they have to eat little meals regularly.

A day three poo is usually dark brown, it will get lighter over the next few days. As long as there are two poos, the size of a two pound coin, then it's fine, that's what you'd expect.

Over the next few days, you'll notice your milk coming in, and your baby taking big swallows.

It sounds like these professionals have really taken the wind out of your sails, but there is nothing - nothing - in what you have said that would make me think there was likely to be an issue with breastfeeding long term. (Or that top ups were required)

I think you need to talk this through with someone you can trust.
The National Breastfeeding helpline is staffed exclusively by trained breastfeeding counsellors:
0300 100 0212

Do call them - you can do this, you are doing it, and I'm sure you can keep doing it if you can steer clear of the bad advice.

Oh my God my baby still wakes up lots of the time when I put her into her cot asleep. And she's 16 months! She definitely did at 3 days. She's building up your milk supply, it's totally normal.

You're getting reassurance here from lots of experienced breastfeeders. Sounds like your Midwife didn't breastfeed herself to be honest.

I've been there, I know how crushing it can be for confidence. But everything you have described is normal. No need for water or formula unless no wees or dry pools or no poos

I have learnt the hard way, health professionals aren't often breastfeeding experts. Yes it's no fun feeding hourly, but that's what feeding a newborn often means xx

Your midwife sounds quite out of date op

Not surprising, most of the ones I've met are shit.

Did she at least give you a number for bf support?

Of course if you want to give up don't feel bad about it, but do t give up just because of some rubbish advice.

You say you are outside the UK - you can still call the helplines from there.

Babies don't like being put down - they think something will eat them. Nothing to do with your milk!

How's it going now Vespar? Really hope your milk has come in and things are easier now.

Please call the uk helplines if you can, vespar. A lot of what you are being told by the midwives seems odd and misinformed. Water and formula at 3 days old? A baby 'not being satisfied' cos he still wants to be close to you after 40 mins??? Stress affecting milk supply??

Hope you can find decent help soon.

When I had DS I had lots of difficulties trying to establish breast feeding and he was jaundiced and had lost 9.8% of his birthweight in 48 hours. I was still in hospital at this point and the doctors answer was, "I want you to give formula at every feed" I was very upset as BF was important to me but I followed advice and my confidence crumbled The hospital wanted me to stay another night but I said no because I knew if I stayed I'd end up with a formula fed baby. Once home I just let DS breast feed as much as he wanted and although it was exhausting I knew it had to be done and I never gave any formula. My milk came in on about day 4 and he regained his birthweight quite quickly. He was ultimately jaundiced for 8 weeks but apparently this can happen with some breast fed babies.

From your posts it doesn't sound like there is any reason why you need to give formula except for the fact you've been told to. I recommend ringing a BF support line. I used them once and they were wonderful and so very, very reassuring.

Congratulations on your new baby

Sorry for the late reply. My computer charger broke! We are still trying to breastfeed but are supplementing with formula at every feed and then pumping afterwards. Basically exactly what I said I wouldn't do. The midwife came over on Saturday and weighed DS before and after feeding and there was no change even though he had been sucking for 20 minutes. I do have a bit of milk so it's all a bit confusing. I've been doing some reading today and I beginning to wonder if I have insufficient glandular tissue because my breasts didn't change that much during pregnancy. I feel like a really need a concrete reason why my milk isn't coming in. Thanks for all your replies.

Please call uk helplines, vespar. No one has test weighed babies ( weighing before and after a feed) like this here for decades.

Your baby is only seven days old. Still early days. The situation can be turned round. But only if you work on a different plan.

Dd was jaundiced and preterm and was given formula via an ng tube for the first five days of her life, till my milk came in and she developed her suck reflex, which luckily happened at the same time. Meanwhile I pumped every few hours too build up supply but never got more than a few ml.

Once my milk was in and dd's jaundice was getting better we gradually stopped the formula and she was weighed every day to make sure she was gaining weight. We finally stopped the formula when she was a week. Despite a very rocky start, dd was ebf for six months, and bf for 16 months.

Dd's jaundice made her sleepy and I was advised to wake her for feeds at least every three hours, but it doesn't sound like you have this problem.

I topped my son with formula due to jaundice, him not being able to latch and me being useless at expressing and managed to wean him off the formula at around a month old and since then he has been only breastfed so don't feel this will end it for you, he's 6 months old now. I'm sure your milk will come in, it may just be a little slower.

I'm so sorry you are stuck doing what you didn't want to do.

But Tiktok is right - you need to call the helpline. It sounds like you are being advised by someone whose training is not current, and quite far from good practice.

The counsellors on the helpline will be able to give you some accurate information on strategies for your situation.

Vespar7, i am goinh through the exact same thing, paeds doctors and midwives telling me i needed to top up with formula but baby wont take from a cup. In a vicious cycle, and thinking about bottle feeding her the top ups and dealing with the consequences afterwards...
At the end of the day, baby needs to be well and we both have to make a decision with their needd being the priority.
I look forward to seeing other peoples responses as well.

Haven't read the whole thread but here's my experience, apologies for any repetitions.

Never expected to be able to breastfeed for various reasons
Child was a bit prem and 6 llbs
Born Thursday early no real milk until Sunday, there had to be formula and much industrial grade pumping....
By Sunday was 5lbs, much panic
By Sunday night I resembled Dolly Parton by boobs also shredded, was told by kindly midwife to get shields if I wanted to continue and hopefully I'd manage to get to 4 or five months.
By this point the poor girl was sporting a major tan and living in a top and bottom light bed.
During a feed that was going reasonably well I read the contents list on the formula carton and contemplated the faff factor of finishing the boob bit and getting up to fanny about with bottles and steriliser etc. I decided that not only did I not like the list but that the sterilising faff was to be avoided at all costs, bed much cosier!
Gritted teeth, pumped like mad, she grew happily but was never a heavy baby, just about the bottom end if the charts. Now a ferociously strong and slim toddler around 50th.

Despite the gloom of the midwives and the jaundice we made it and I breastfed until she was nearly 18 months and am so glad I didn't listen.

I would definitely try and feed again if another came along. Neighbour pumping with number two, toddler a lively boy and new one a slow start feeder and although tough she's through the woods now. Good luck. And drink when you're thirsty which in this weather will probably be lots but nothing like looking at four litres of water as part of a to do list to make me want to cry! So if you are the same forget the numbers!

Omg they weighed baby before and after a feed?! Are you joking! Please breastfeed baby LOTS almost constantly probably. It's completely normal, baby was behaving normally they want to be close to you and just feed all the time like hey got constant nutrition in the womb. Midwives need proper training because the advice you've been given is awful.

Poor you! You are getting very bad advice. Your milk.has not come in yet, and until it does (probably in a day or two) your baby may well suckle ALL THE TIME!!! It is exhausting, but it is normal and does not mean you don't have enough milk. Doing this will bring in the milk, then feeds will begin to space out. I really agree with previous posters - find a breastfeeding counsellor, or call a breastfeeding helpline (the nct have one). Topping up with formula will slow down bring the milk in and reduce your supply. Just allow your baby to feed more, even if it is constant - that bit won't last long. Good luck!