Hand holding needed - things are really shit

[ilovetosleep]

Hi there. I'm just looking for some support (and any advice obviously welcome!)

Last week we had a 7day nursing strike. It was hell. DS2 is only 14 weeks old now. He would only feed during the night and if I roused him from a nap. This was obviously tough with a toddler around and if I missed him waking from a nap that was it for another 3 hours. He made up or it in the night...

We finally came out the other side after 3 days of ranitidine, a session of cranial and a lot of tears.

2 days of normality then bam - he caught a nasty virus. Fever of 40, upper respiratory infection etc. fed like a demon for 3 days, hated him being ill and was a nervous wreck but obviously elated I could nurse him back to health. By day three his fever was down but e had developed very frequent diarrhea. Leads emphasised importance of fluids and bm.

But Of course, as soon as his fever had gone he decided to go back on strike. I am such a mess, he is crying at the breast but unable to feed due to hunger/thirst. We resorted to syringe feeding last night (bottle refuser too!). He had 3 good feeds in the night and I have managed one this morning as he woke from a nap. He's asleep now and I'm ready to pounce. I just can't help feeling like this might be the end. I desperately don't want to stop and will almost certainly e on anti depressants by he time the week is out if I have to stop (history of pnd).

hes a very good size so weight not an issue, but hydration obviously is. He is ok for now, fontanelle soft and mouth not dry, but wet nappies are not as frequent as they should be and my dribble monster is only producing a few bubbles.

I don't k ow if I can face another week of strike.

We are back on the ranitidine (stopped during illness as he wouldn't let a syringe bear him. We had a few calpol related projectile vomits) I don't even know if it helped, it just seems like a coincidence that we stopped and he went on strike again.

Sorry this is long. I don't know what I am asking. I have RL practical help but no bf experts around. I know I will have to take him to hospital if he goes too many hours without feeds, but I desperately don't want to have to.

If anyone has any tips please I would love to hear them - although I suspect I have tried most things to get him to feed. - new place, position, etc etc. Sleep feeding seems to be the only way.

Why are you giving him probiotics? Is that from the doc?

OP, I was also feeling hysterical over feeding my son who had reflux. He was also on ranitidine. I look back now on two years ago and realise the ranitidine didn't do much and he wasn't feeding as badly as I thought he was. By age six months the reflux had gone completely. If the doc thinks your son isn't dehydrated then you just need to keep offering. If he refuses, try not to let it get to you and try again an hour later. If he refuses feeds for
Hours on end then seek help from GP. How often is he weighed? That will give you an indication of whether feeding is going well in the long run

All the parents I have known with babies with medicallt diagnosed GORD and feeding aversions have suffered from PND. Every. Single. One. It is immensely stressful.

It is entirely possible that there is nothing wrong but it is also entirely possible he has reflux which needs treating.

I think you need another medical opinion.

To clarify, I'm not necessarily disagreeing with Tiktok, but another common experience of parents of children with reflux that I know is that they have all usually been told:

• He's picking up on your stress, which is why he's not feeding

Or

• He's putting on weight so there's nothing terribly wrong

The thing is, no-one can really tell on the internet what is cause and what is effect. It's even hard for doctors to tell when they examine a baby because they can't bloody well talk and tell us what's going on . So you need some more medical opinions from professionals you trust.

I'm not sure why you think he doesn't have reflux. Because I'm so anxious? I can be anxious AND there be a problem, I don't imagine everything ( although it may feel like it sometimes)

This evening he fed well, followed by an hour of hysterical crying, back arching and writhing. He's almost drift off and then it would start all very again. He was on as off the boob and each time he came off he arched and screamed some more. I eventually got some gaviscon in him and he calmed down over the next 10mins. The doctors ARE treating him for reflux - ranitidine and gaviscon, but they don't seem that interested in te feeding side of things.

Anyway he just woke up an hour Ito his sleep with the most guy wrenching screams imaginable. Never heard him or my DS1 cry like that. Is it possible for reflux to get worse following an illness? Could have been a random hysterical cry for no reason though I guess.

I'm not at all surprised pnd is common among parents of GOrD babies. I know of one or two myself.

Actually that's not entirely true, the doc DS say this morning that the feeding aversion is probably related to reflux. The feeding thing was acknowledged and seen as a reflux symptom rather than anything ekse

Oh and the pro biotics - well he was on anti biotics for a few days and I was advised with ds1 a few years ago to give probiotics following a course of anti biotics. I do I for myself too. Do you think not a good idea?

I have thought time and time again that he may not have reflux, that he may be 'normal', that feeding is. 'Just a bit tricky' but that would be because I find it hard to trust my own judgements. Doctors (and most other people!)always say that mothers instinct is so important, and I can't ignore mine because I suffer from anxiety and therefore I worry that I might be imagining it/timewasting/ catastrophising. And my instincts do tell me that he is in pain as that things aren't 'normal'.

Although I TOTALLY understand how from reading my posts you may think it's all in my head a bit. I have to say that my thoughts do seen a bit clearer having had this thread to offload into, so thank you all for replying.

Well then your instincts are probably right. Guess what? When I got treated for PND and I was better, DS still had a feeding aversion and reflux. Hmmm.... so, it wasn't all in my head, then.

There are more effective medications for reflux than ranitidine - omeprazole/ lansoprazole/pantoprazole - but I stress they are not without risks (bone density issues and increased risk of GI infections).

Apermanentheadache Did treating the reflux help with the feeding aversion?

Yes most definitely. He is now the omnivorous one of my children! DS also had milk intolerance which has v similar symptoms to reflux. Oversupply and tongue tie can also cause fussy feeding and posseting.

ilove I don't have a view on the probiotics. Just wondered why you were giving them, cos you were having difficulty getting them into your baby.

I don't think the concerns you have are all in your head. I was just suggesting - only suggesting cos how can anyone on here know? - that the reflux might be milder than you fear.

But no one can assess any of this on a talk board. What is clear and what you yourself say is a struggle is the anxiety you are experiencing and it might be making you worry more.

Hope this weekend goes ok for you.

I'm sorry if I'm repeating anyone, but if you want to try a bottle of bm again, have you thought about trying a cheap bottle? My bottle refuser will take a bottle but only if it's the cheap narrow neck one. The teats are very soft and nipple shaped.

op ds was on anti b from birth till 8 weeks. i asked about probiotics and not one hp advised doing this so i really wouldn't bother if i were you, not worth the stress.
also i found gaviscon a real faff. in fact it just made ds vomit alot. its very hard to give to a bf baby and made ds badly constipated which equaled lots of screaming and upset.
def think back to docs to discuss meds!x