I can't do this any more

[Madcat22]

Not sure what I want from this because nobody can help me, there's no solution. I am desperate to stop BF 6 month old DD. I have no life, she is constantly feeding and I've had six hours in total away from her all her life. She screams when I put her down and always has. DS (3 years) has no quality time with me any more. I have no family nearby and DH is always at work. I hate BF so much it makes my flesh crawl (this is no reflection on DD who I love so much; it's more about me. I have worked for many years as a therapist with sex offenders and I think this has distorted my judgment. I feel like its wrong even though I know it isn't - I just hate the sensation and irrationally feel like I'm doing something bad). DD refuses a bottle. She refuses a Doidy, a sippy, all teats offered and formula on a spoon. I'm wondering if she doesn't like the taste of formula (tried many different ones). She gets hysterical when offered and just wants boob. She only goes to sleep on the boob and some nights will only sleep when suckling all night. I find this so stressful I've started to dig my fingernails into my skin when she does this to distract me so she doesn't sense how tense I am. I've now got big ugly marks on me where I'm doing this. I am going back to work in 2 months and sometimes work away overnight. Therefore also really worried about how this will work. I just need to stop breast feeding. I'm so desperate and can't see an end to this.

Huge and congratulations on making it this far!

Have a look on www.kellymom.com - loads of advice on breastfeeding including ways to wean gradually or how to deal with sudden weaning.

Children's Centres often have a breastfeeding group run by a midwife or trained volunteer, it would be worth getting some real life support if you can. Have a look on La Leche League too to see if there's a support group near by. There's nothing to beat someone making you a and saying, You know what it really can be shit can't it

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/breastfeeding-help-support.aspx#close There's a list of helpline numbers on this page, NHS and the charities.

I have nothing really useful to advise but hopefully one of the experts will be along to help soon

Oh you poor thing. To be honest, it sounds like your problem is not just breastfeeding but a very high needs/clingy child (who would probably be clingy regardless of feeding method), no family support/absent DH, maybe a touch of PND (which from my own and friends' experience can often make stresses around babies and BF feel a million times worse).

I weaned DS1 when he was a lot older so don't have a lot of tips on weaning completely at that age, though do have experience getting DCs to drink from a bottle or cup - maybe try a cup of expressed milk rather than formula, or even water, just to get her used to drinking from something other than you, then think about formula later? You'll also find that dropping breastfeeds will become a lot easier once she's on solids.

Constant feeding and not wanting to be put down might also indicate something like reflux or a tongue tie - if that's the case you might find life a lot easier once it's fixed, whether or not you stop BF. Also I think you need to tell your DH that you're struggling and need some extra support (including help dealing with baby at night while you wean), and/or maybe talk to your GP.

I hope you get things sorted soon.

Yes, def agree with Pidgin about going to some kind of real life BF support, they will have advice on weaning and also can possibly advise on tongue tie or other issues that might be making your situation particularly difficult.

This is about more than breastfeeding. Is there anyone you can talk to about how you're feeling? It could be trauma related to work, or post natal anxiety. Breastfeeding groups are a great place to get advice as others have said but I also think GP or health visitor could give you some support. I have had pn anxiety and found things overwhelming at times. You are not alone xxx

Lots of sympathy, this sounds very hard.

Have you taken your DD to see your GP, about the constant feeding and screaming if put down? If so what does the GP say? If this is still going on at 6 months that suggests to me some kind of possible health issue that could benefit from treatment - reflux, or maybe neck problem from birth.

Re weaning - have you tried expressed milk in a bottle/cup and if so how does she react to that?