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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

So...has anyone's baby self-weaned after 18mths or do I have to get tough???

45 replies

BonyM · 09/09/2006 21:17

DD2 is 18mths and I am still breastfeeding her early morning and before bed, plus she often asks for it during the day, although I try to disuade her from this and only give in if she's very upset or can't be distracted.

I feel tired a lot of the time and think the breastfeeding could be contributing to this so sort of want to stop even though I'd intitially decided that I would wait for dd to decide when she was ready.

My health visitor reckons that she is too old to self-wean now and that I will have to wean her by gradually cutting down.

Has anyone's dc weaned themselves after this age? I really don't want to upset her unnecessarily by "forcing" her to stop when she's not ready.

OP posts:

NotQuiteCockney · 10/09/2006 21:27

DS2 is nearly 2. I stopped bf DS1 at 18 months, which wasn't difficult at all, although I'm not entirely clear why I did it, and I do regre it .

I don't have a problem setting boundaries on bf, you can't negotiate with tiny ones, but you can set boundaries, no problem.

Pidge · 10/09/2006 21:27

BoneyM - well there is hope - just recently we had a few 6am starts (paradise), though this morning we were back at 5.45am. Sorry, off topic rambling there!

If you're happy feeding now, I would say carry on till you're ready to stop and by then you can even talk it through with her, saying the milk has gone and offering her alternatives. That would be different if you were totally fed up now, of course.

I was certainly ready to stop at 2 last time, and I wonder if my dd1 picked up on that somehow when she lost interest herself.

NotQuiteCockney · 10/09/2006 21:28

My MIL came in while I was bf DS2 in the bath. Whoops.

DS2 is pretty fleshy about the whole thing, though, I don't find the bath that much different.

FillyjonktheBananaEater · 10/09/2006 21:31

yes, dd seems to find any tops being worn by me to be deeply offensive to her when bf. So she likes to remove them for me.

FrannyandZooey · 10/09/2006 21:31

I ruddy hate this whole thing of "oh you must stop / start doing that right now or else they will never get used to it when you eventually need to stop / start doing it"

ie co-sleeping, leaving your child with other people, breastfeeding, nursery, etc

How about "doing the things that give your child comfort and security, for as long as you feel comfortable doing so, will give them the confidence and security to cope with leaving these things behind happily when they are older"

Tatties · 10/09/2006 22:11

BonyM, my ds is 17mths and I plan to go down the self-weaning route. Even if I really had had enough now, it would just be too difficult to try to get him to stop at this stage. Too much unnecessary effort, and as others have said, if you decide to give up at a later date, I think it would be so much easier to do when your dd is old enough to really understand what is going on.

Harpsi, I would love to hear about how flipping marvellous self weaning is I can't imagine ds ever giving up

yellowrose · 10/09/2006 22:13

BonyM - the "natural" age apparently for self-weaning is between 2 - 4 years old. My DS is 2.2 years and I am allowing him to self wean and as I am not planning on any more children, this shouldn't be too difficult. He gets very demanding for bf sometimes, but only if he is sick or tired and needs attention, which I don't mind because bf is such a miracle comforter for both of us

I 2nd Franny's suggestion to read a book about it or speak to your local LLL adviser, LLL are experts on bf toddlers and gentle methods of weaning. Good luck !

yellowrose · 10/09/2006 22:16

Franny - your post of 9:31 is beautiful

NotQuiteCockney · 10/09/2006 22:20

I have been getting weary of bf lately, but then we've been travelling, so DS2 has been insecure, and wanting to bf more. (Generally, anyway, he'd happily bf all day.) I've been agreeing to his requests for boob, when we're home, so I guess I'm semi-feeding-on-demand.

I was really thrown by him refusing boob in the bath, though, he always insists on having a bath with me, and then bfs through it all. But then I washed his face, against his wishes, and he needed boob.

FrannyandZooey · 11/09/2006 07:21

thank you very much yellowrose

I am getting weary of breastfeeding too, but I am still very much enamoured with the effects I believe extended breastfeeding has had on me and my child.

Original poster

BonyM · 11/09/2006 13:17

Ahh, you've all convinced me to continue .

Anyway, I suppose it does mean I can carry on stuffing my face with chocolate and still remain a size 12 .

OP posts:

yellowrose · 11/09/2006 15:33

BonyM - good for you ! I envy you for stuffing your face and being a size 12

Franny - I know what you mean - people get sick of me going on about how wonderful it is to bf a toddler !

FillyjonktheBananaEater · 11/09/2006 15:45

bonyM, i was with you, i felt for you...

until you said you were a size 12

Original poster

BonyM · 11/09/2006 20:48

Ah, I may be size 12 but my stomach is still like a lovely soft, squishy cushion , so don't be too .

(Where d'you think my name came from? I was really boney when I was a child!)

OP posts:

FillyjonktheBananaEater · 11/09/2006 20:57

I'll see your soft sqidgy stomach and raise you two deflated norks.

Original poster

BonyM · 11/09/2006 21:04

OP posts:

serenity · 11/09/2006 21:06

DD self weaned at 2 years and around 2 months. When she was 18 mths I stopped offering bf, but didn't refuse if she asked for one although if she asked during the day, I would offer her juice as well. Sometimes she'd still want to bf, sometimes she'd go for the juice and eventually she just asked for a drink. The last few months she was mainly having milk at about 6am, when she'd wake up and come into our bed. Luckily for my health and sanity she didn't care if I went back to sleep whilst she was helping herself, and a couple of times I woke to find her in bed, attched and asleep with no recollection of her having come in

lucy5 · 11/09/2006 21:09

My dd did it at about 17 months. She gradually dropped down to one morning feed a day and one day we missed it, I can't remember why and she never fed again. I was heartbroken.

hollyhobbie · 13/09/2006 17:28

Hi BonyM,
Hope you're not feeling so tired anymore.
I just wanted to remind you how good BF is too - DD was a bit ill yesterday, had a temp and was very listless and I couldn't breastfeed her! It was the first time since she weaned that I really missed it. She had to settle for the calming effect of a cuddle and an episode of Boobah...Hmmm.

mouchemum · 13/09/2006 18:44

my little boy is 2 years 2 months he wants to bf 2 or 3 times a day but mostly when I put him to bed and when he wakes up . I wonder when will he want to stop.

mouchemum.

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