Gently weaning a nearly 3 year old - tips and advice please

[Namelessonsie]

I'm done. Really.

I thought I'd just feed to 6 months, then a year, then I thought it best to let her self wean, but she still feeds 6-8 times a day, and it just makes me irritable and angry with her, and it's just horrible to feel like that when feeding her :(

I night weaned her around Christmas as she was feeding every 2 hours still, and her little sister was feeding every 3 hours, so I was getting basically no sleep. Despite that she still feeds more than the baby! The baby just feeds and is not bothered otherwise - older dd wants it for every upset, boredom, if thirsty, hungry, because I'm feeding the baby etc etc.

So, don't offer don't refuse hasn't worked in over a year of trying. Dropping feeds creates much resistance, so help please!

I've kind of been where you are now. I tandem fed my dd (then 2 1/2) when her baby brother was born and I felt fine about it for about 3 months. Then I got more and more ansy when she fed until I wanted to push her away. Not a nice feeling.

I tried to talk to her about not wanting to feed her so much and I did manage to cut her feeding down to a level I could cope with. For me that was morning, bedtime and a couple of times in between. I still didn't love feeding her but it was a compromise for both of us, because she did feel a strong need to feed and having a new baby was a very stressful time for her.

After that she started to drop feeds by herself and in the end she self weaned.

There's no perfect answer but my advice is, give lots and lots of cuddly time, read stories, sing lullabies. Don't always wait for her to come to you for affection, make the first move.

Talk to her about your feelings and your need to feed her less and ask her which times she needs to feed most, and what you could do to be close instead of feeding.

Be willing to meet her half way, at least for a while, because there will be times when she is overwhelmed and really needs to feed to calm down, feel safe etc.

Don't beat yourself up if your not completely consistent! You'll know when to be firm and when you need to give in.

Good luck!

I was exactly where you are with ds1. Approaching his birthday I suddenly realised I had had enough and was ready to be firm. We talked about the fact that he would be a big boy soon, and that once he was three, milk would just be for bedtime for him. It worked with remarkably little resistance. I told him when he asked for milk, that it was just for bedtime, and that now he was a big boy, he could choose a big boy present from Toys R Us - anything he wanted. I was willing to go up to a £50 bike, but he chose a £1.49 policeman's helmet!!!

We slipped up a couple of weeks later as he was ill and I let him have a couple of days of milk again, but then let him choose another present and we were done.

DS2 now, there was a different battle!!