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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Does anyone else get an overwhelming sad feeling when feeding?

26 replies

blueseashore · 03/06/2014 21:52

I have noticed that soon after my DS latches on, and just before my let down starts, I get this really odd feeling flood through me - it's sort of like being overwhelmingly homesick. It passes almost as quickly as it comes on, but its horrible. I had it too when feeding DD but to a lesser extent. Anyone else experienced this?!

OP posts:
TravelinColour · 03/06/2014 21:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WaxyDaisy · 03/06/2014 21:54

Have you looked up DMER? I can't remember what it stands for.

greedygal · 03/06/2014 21:56

Yes and I understand you. It was like a huge black cloud hanging over me as soon as my 2nd Dc latched on to me. It lasted for about 1 minute but that was the most hideous minute of my life.

I don't have any solutions but thought I would send you hugs as I relate to you.

It is horrible for both my DD and DS. I followed it through but hated the feeling everytime I fed them X

StealthPolarBear · 03/06/2014 21:58

I get this on general (remembrr getting it as a child) and got it more when feeding. Sort of overwhelming sadness/homesickness/down and as Im "coming out" of it I crave a drink so ive always assumed its dehydration related. Also wondered if it was some sort of mild anxiety attack.

StealthPolarBear · 03/06/2014 21:59

So weird - I was aboit to start a thread about this feeling (not specifically about feeding) after reading the social one!

SandorClegane · 03/06/2014 22:01

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dysphoric_milk_ejection_reflex

StealthPolarBear · 03/06/2014 22:03

How weird! I wonder why I get it at other times. It's just like a wave of despair that passes so quickly.

PrinceRogersNelson · 03/06/2014 22:04

Yep I used to get this too. A real wave of sadness that would pass.

It lessened as they got older and the letdown less forceful.

GinnelsandWhippets · 03/06/2014 22:07

Yes, with DS2 i felt this. It was so strange as with DS1 i found feding physically more difficult (pain etc) but emotionally it was really fulfilling. With DS2 it was the opposite. I fed him till 6 months but it was a struggle. Sympathies OP. But in the bigger picture, it will pass.

Original poster
blueseashore · 03/06/2014 22:11

Thanks for your replies - strangely comforting to know its not just me! Oddly I get the weird thirst after as well, Stealth. Pesky hormones have a lot to answer for...

OP posts:
imip · 03/06/2014 22:11

Amazing, I've spent almost 6 years of my life breastfeeding and I let down I feel very nauseous. How amazing to finally have an answer! I guess this is what I've had. I've had it for all 4 dcs, currently bf dc4 at almost 2.5 yo and I still get it. Not all the time, just sometimes.... Wow, a real mystery for me solved.

I've told many a dr, bf counsellor and midwife who have always just looked at me like I am a loon!

williwonti · 03/06/2014 23:02

I think i get this!!! I consider myself well read but never heard of this. I'm really quite shocked that it is real. It feels great to see it explained.

NorahBone · 04/06/2014 09:44

Me too! I noticed it when I was really overdue and trying to boob massage my way into labour (didn't work). I like the way pp have described it - I get a kind of melancholy and, like polarbear I remember it from childhood. It's closely followed by a craving for tea.

LittleLight82 · 04/06/2014 14:20

This is so odd- I don't get this while BFing but I got occasional waves of that homesick feeling in the third trimester coupled with a strong urge to drink lots of water afterwards. Bizarre!

Choppa · 04/06/2014 15:02

This is me!! Homesickness...very odd but now I know it's not just me I feel loads better!!

mumofthreeboysS · 05/06/2014 19:22

I get the nausea! I googled it a while back as I was so intrigued by it.

mumofthreeboysS · 05/06/2014 19:25

Ginnelsandwhippets so how did you feel with ds2? I have started feeling more and more that I don't want to bf (ds is 5 months) it's all I think about when he's feeding but I'm worried I'll regret it if I stop. Maybe it's the hormones??

Toothytwo · 05/06/2014 19:26

I get this when I start exercising, hard to explain. Like a wave of hopelessness.

mumofthreeboysS · 05/06/2014 20:18

Ginnelsandwhippets so how did you feel with ds2? I have started feeling more and more that I don't want to bf (ds is 5 months) it's all I think about when he's feeding but I'm worried I'll regret it if I stop. Maybe it's the hormones??

mumofthreeboysS · 05/06/2014 20:19

Oops sorry thought it hadn't posted

ilovetosleep · 05/06/2014 22:41

Wow, I can't believe this feeling has been put into words as I always struggled to make sense of it. It is all of these thing, homesickness, melancholy, sadness, despair. I can't believe it is an actual 'thing' I thought I was being hypersensitive as I suffer from anxiety.

I also get an immense thirst immediately after and the sensation is fleeting. I also get it when starting exercise and also bizarrely after the first sip of a glass of wine, if I am tired. Mainly physically tired I think.

And I do remember it from childhood although I am not sure if I just associate it with childhood as it is a moment that feels almost nostalgic if that makes sense. It makes me sad to think that I might have felt like that in childhood.

I do feel this same overwhelming sadness/homesickness when I think about how much I love my DSs, but only recently since bfing ds2.

VisualiseAHorse · 06/06/2014 00:43

Yup, it's a real thing! I had D-MER, took me ages to find out what it was.

Primrose123 · 06/06/2014 00:52

I've felt this too, and also while not feeding. It doesn't happen very often, but I get the feeling of desperately needing my mum (as a small child would). It only lasts a split second, and I have a craving for diet coke straight after. Weird.

DioneTheDiabolist · 06/06/2014 00:57

Mine wasn't overwhelming, but the feeling of sadness was definitely there. It was one of a myriad of feelings. Pregnancy, childbirth and breast feeding is totally natural and more than a bit weird.

Mondaybaby · 18/07/2014 22:55

I had D-MER when I was breast feeding. It was the most horrible sensation. Started about 2 -3 mins before any let down and then eased off a few mins after I was breast feeding. Started at about 1 month after my dd's birth and continued quite strong until she was about 5 - 6 months old. I continued to bf until she was 2 years old.
Once I was told what it was (by a lactation consultant who I described the symptoms to and who asked her colleagues in the USA to help figure out what was going on) I was able to deal with it better.
I remember it as a sense of doom, the world being a terrible place and why have I brought a small, helpless innocent life into this nasty world mixed with a strong sense of homesickness plus almost physical symptoms like someone squeezing my guts and stomach up to my throat.
I had to stop talking sometimes if it happened while I was chatting with someone.
If you are experiencing D-MER, it is REAL, you are not going crazy!!!