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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

I'm losing the plot with BFing - please help

21 replies

Mandymoo · 02/09/2006 19:13

DS is 4 months old and has been BF with just a few formula top ups here and there.

He has always fed little and often and has put on weight steadily ( he is now 17 lbs)

Trouble is i'm confused - half of me wants to start mix feeding and eventually get him onto formula totally and the other half wants to continue bfing.

Whenever he has formula, he seems agitated for a while after and is obviously in some discomfort until the wind passes. Of course i dont want to see my baby like this but eventually he will have to go onto formula due to work committments so how do i handle this? I use SMA gold at the moment but would welcome any suggestions for other ones which would hopefully not give ds this reaction.

Sorry its such a long post bit i've really lost my way with BFing this time round and am feeling a bit low about it.

Thanks for reading X

OP posts:
munz · 02/09/2006 19:20

ooh one tip I found SMA = v v windy horrid baby waking every hour, farleys (on recommendation from Jarm = happier baby)

as for the BF it, could you express instead of formula feed? i'm not much help i'm afraid as i'm going thru the same thing at 6 months. just wanted u to know ur not alone.

SoupDragon · 02/09/2006 19:23

I think formula is trial and error as to which suits your baby best TBH. DS1 reacted to a particular version of follow on milk but not to another -both were Cow and Gate!

Even with work commitments you can still mix feed if you want to. Can you write down a list of pros/cons for each to try and sort out how you feel about it?

Krythia · 02/09/2006 19:26

HI there Mandymoo. Firstly, well done for feeding as long as you have done. It is never easy, and it sounds as if you already have at least one child competing for that time. I had real problems putting my second onto formula, and found that he didn't like SMA, but loved Aptimel (incidentally, Cow and Gate have bought Aptimel, and now use their formula, according to a friend who works for C&G). Other things to think off are potentially a low lactose formula - SMA do one, available in bigger branches of Boots, or ask HV, I think you can get it prescribed. Good luck!!!! Remember, even if you have to stop BF tomorrow, you have done a GREAT thing by persevering for so long. (hug)

cleaninglady · 02/09/2006 19:37

Hi Mandymoo - well done for getting this far! have to agree with prev post that Aptamil is v good - tried SMA with dd and was a nightmare and then again with ds - same story
A health professional friend said Aptamil and Dr Brown bottles were the way to go and in my case worked a treat - good luck

USAUKMum · 02/09/2006 19:43

Hi Mandymoo -- Good job for feeding so far. Sounds as if you are confused. I can say that once you start weaning around 6 mths bfing gets much easier. With mine once they were on 3 meals I just fed with each meal mid-afternoon snack (until about 10 mths) and at night.

Whatever you decide, it will be right.

Original poster
Mandymoo · 02/09/2006 19:59

Thanks for your replies - I feel like i'm messing DS about in terms of feeding as one day i'm exclusively BFing and the next i get a bee in my bonnet and give him a bottle of formula as well as BFing! I just want to get in clear in my own head and then just do it - there are so many emotions connected with BFing that i never realised before. For me, this is almost certainly my last baby (also have 3.5 yr dd) and therefore my last experience of BFing.

OP posts:
Krythia · 02/09/2006 20:10

I used to do that too with DS2 - can't tell you the amount of times I announced 'right that's it' and started again only for him to balefully spit out the teat and root for my nipple again. Got there in the end though - with characteristic lack of graceful parenting!

Original poster
Mandymoo · 03/09/2006 12:48

am still going mad about this! BUMP

OP posts:
bumbleweed · 03/09/2006 16:51

Mandymoo - sorry to hear you are feeling low and confused. Big hugs - I will feel really sad when I reduce breastfeeding my dd as you are right there are a whole bundle of emotions involved.

Sounds like you are not really sure about giving up breastfeeding - in what way do you think the mixed feeding is confusing your ds? Why does he need to go completely onto formula when you go back to work?

LaDiDaDi · 03/09/2006 17:31

I know exactly where you are coming from Mandymoo! Dd is now 17 weeks and I mix fed from her coming home from scbu. For several weeks i kept getting myself in a right tizzy about wether or not to a) just entirely formula feed b)continue to mix feed, or c)try to get back to exclusive bf. I would literally change my mind from one day to the next, each evening saying to dp "right that's it I've decided to do a" then the next evening I would feel differently.

I too never expected to feel emotional about breastfeeding but also I never thought that I would value being able to give dd a bottle and know that she was fed and happy for a few hours! (I know I could express but i did that when she was in scbu and for me down that road madness lies ).

For the past couple of weeks I've been feeling much more relaxed about it, decided not to decide iyswim. I started to take domperidone to increase my breastmilk supply but still also give formula pretty often too. I like knowing that she is getting some of the benefits of breastmilk, esp antibodies, but that sometimes formula is quite frankly more convenient for me. I hope to carry on like this until dd is 6months at which point I will definitely have to stop breastfeeding as I will be going back to work when she is 8months and my shift patterns will mean that breastfeeding will not be possible.

If you think it might work for you then i would also recommend trying not to decide iyswim. Just try to relax about it and realise that if you and dd are both happy and healthy then how you choose to feed her from now on isn't such a big deal. You have already done a great job and I'm sure that whatever happens dd will be fine .

kayzed · 03/09/2006 18:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Mandymoo · 03/09/2006 18:55

Thanks everyone - your replies have made a lot of sense. Will try different forumla and see what happens. XX

OP posts:
Krythia · 04/09/2006 19:34

How's it going, Mandymoo?

Original poster
Mandymoo · 04/09/2006 21:18

Tried him on Aptimil (sp?) today and he kind of took some of it but then refused the bottle (he had approx 3 oz) so i figured maybe he was full. I then thought i'd offer him the breast and see if he took it - which he did and had a good feed!

I really am struggling with it atm. I feel like i'm putting myself under pressure when i dont need to but at the same time i really want to forge a routine and get him settled. He hardly feeds off me anyway - might contact HV (for all the use that will do!).

Dont know what i'll try tomorrow...........................................

OP posts:
Krythia · 05/09/2006 20:21

keep going - no baby likes going onto cans after draft! Is he any better for anyone else? We also tried feding him in a chair, rather than cuddling to stop him rooting. It is a long and painful process, I know, but you WILL get tehre in the end, I promise.

Original poster
Mandymoo · 05/09/2006 21:04

Thanks Krythia

Noticed today how badly ds feeds off me when i'm sitting down, he much prefers it lying on the bed. In fact he wouldnt feed off me at all today unless i lay down with him.

Any advice?

OP posts:
kbaby · 06/09/2006 09:30

Mandymoo - im trying to make the same decision. ds is v unsettled and windy and im thinking of stopping bf to see if it makes a diff, however even though ive bought the formula and bottles i cant quite bring myself to stop. what if it makes no diff and hes still the same on bottles then ill feel guilty for stopping.
i too decide one day and then the next change my mind its driving me up the wall and i need to decide 1 way or the other as its all i think about.

curlew · 06/09/2006 10:30

Kbaby - of course, I can't be 100% sure, but I am as sure as I can be that it's not bf that's making your ds unsettled. How old is he? If he's very little and you're new to bf, are you sure he's latching on properly? If he's a bit older, it could be that he's just going through a whingy phase and he'll be more settled soon. I suggest you keep bf - if you give up, you might very well end up with an unsettled baby and all the hassle of ff as well! Why not say to yourself - OK, I will bf for another week - then try not to think about it. You may find that if you're more settled in your decision so is he.

USAUKMum · 06/09/2006 11:06

Mandymoo if he likes feeding lying down have you tried the rugby hold? DS went through a phase where that was the only hold he liked -- DD hated it though.

Krythia · 06/09/2006 22:17

babies do sometimes feed differently when they grow. My first went through a dreadful stage and in hindsight, I hadn't adjusted my bf position to compensate for his growth. I am really rooting for you - it is such a difficult stage and I was so low when I went through it - esp as all the mums in my post natal group seemed to be breezing through it. It may be worth mentioning that ds2 had issues with the bottle, not the formula and never did drink from a teat - he went straight onto a trainer cup at 5 months.

kbaby · 07/09/2006 16:44

im off to see a bf consellor on Friday to check the positioning encase I am letting him take in too much air.
So far im still bf

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