Advice needed to stop bf 22 month old

[ultraviolet11]

I desperately need to stop bf 22 month DS. He is fed to sleep for both nap and bedtime. Can take up to an hour to fall asleep at bedtime sometimes and wakes several times in the the night. He will only settle with a breastfeed. I cut out any extra day time feeds a couple of weeks ago and distraction has worked really well but not sure how this will work for bedtime and middle of the night? We have co slept and he doesn't have a separate bed as yet.

I have researched the DR Jay Gordon method but going through past threads not too keen on it as not many people have reported success with it. Friends I have spoken to who have had success with stopping bfing all went cold turkey. Is this the best option? Does anyone have any other advice or tips? I would like to stop in next couple of weeks as DH has a couple of long weekends coming up. Can I prepare him somehow or is that just impossible?

Hi Ultraviolet
I stopped breastfeeding Ds at 18mnths quite recently. He was similar to your Ds- nursing to sleep at night.
I got DH to take over bed time and night time duties. He cuddled Ds to sleep so he would still have the closeness.
I took bedtime back 2 weeks later, when I was no longer producing milk and did the same thing.
Cuddle to sleep then put down while sleeping.
Since then- he's gradually weaned himself the need to fall asleep on me. I can now do story, cuddle and put down with a soft toy and he will go to sleep by himself.
It helps that he was in his own room though. On those occasions came into our bed at night- he used to want to suckle almost continuously. It was actually one of the main reasons I decided it was time to stop! He seemed to be able to suck for hours, getting very little in the way of nutrition and leaving me knackered and dehydrated.
Would it be possible to move him to his own room first- then try to drop the night feeds when he's used to that?

Dr Jay Gordon worked for us, btw. DP did a lot of the night time settling while we were doing it.

Thanks for your replies. I think I'm just going to have to take the plunge and go for it. Will have to keep him in our room for now. I stopped bf dd when she was 14 months and it took a couple of hours of crying to get her to sleep the first night but that was all. Fingers crossed it's the same for ds.

Good luck!

How yoy getting on ultraviolet? Started any new routine yet? I have a 26 mo that i need to do this with. I keep bf to sleep and during the night cos its just quicker snd easier. But need to change it soon i think.

hi twobusyboys. I'm being lazy and not done anything yet. I sm hoping to just stop in next couple of weeks. He's been a nightmare today. we were out all day and he didn't nap. not even an hours drive in the car on the way home put him to sleep. just got him down now. It is getting ridiculous now. What do you do for naps? Do you have a plan of any sort ?

My Ds is 22 months too and I have recently gone from feeding several times a day and all night to just morning and bed time.

I did it in two stages. Stage one was day time feeds. I told DS that mummys milk is just for bed time now and distracted him. I was amazed but he seemed to understand and accept it quite well. He still asks occasionally but accepts when I say nit until bed time.

After a couple of weeks of no day feeds I decided to tackle night feeds. Because he had shown understanding I decide to go down that route again. If DS wakes in the night I lie on my tummy (we cosleep) and say mummys boobies are sleeping, you can have milk in the morning. He found this more difficult to accept and there was a bit of crying at first but he seems to have got the hang of it most nights and has started sleeping through. Not every night but such an improvement from before.

I would say that the key is yo give milk when you say you will. So bedtime and morning for me. Unfortunatley morning at the moment is any time from 4.47 but usually around 5.30. If he wakes and its light I feed him, I cant expect a 22 month old to understand the clocks going back after all.

Good luck, you might be surprised, I know I was!

Thanks mrsdiesel, I have cut out daytime feeds except for the feed before his nap. There is no other way to get him to sleep like I said before sometimes even a long drive doesn't put him to sleep. Do you think it's worth introducing a bottle? I know he is nearly 2 but willing to try if a bottle will help.

Ok so we've decided to stop from tonight. Terrified. I'll report back tomorrow to let you know how it goes.

Good luck tonight ultraviolet. We decided to go cold turkey at about the same age. We'd been thinking about it for a while, then I had a raging temperature, and really felt ill, so went for it. DS2 was a milk addict, so we guessed that it wouldn't be easy. He slept with his dad for a few nights, and daddy told him that there would be milk in the morning, but now it was time to sleep.

I have to say that the first night was fairly grim. It may be easier for you, but ds2 cried for 3 hours, then had five minute break, then did 4 more hours!!! I would have caved in after the first hour but dh braved it out. He was with him, ds2 was safe, just furious! The second night it took just 20 minutes and then he fell asleep and slept through. The third night we heard one whimper then that was it until morning.

Hope that it is easier on you tonight. We felt completely battered of course, but he was fine in the morning, and a happier chap for sleeping through every night.

Thanks longtallsally that's just what I wanted to hear. I don't mind having a couple of hellish nights as long as there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Glad it helped. I've talked to lots of others about it - no one else's child has lasted 7 hours, but ds2 is spectacularly stubborn.

One friend bandaged herself in, so that she couldn't cave in and give a quick feed to her dd! She walked around like a mitchelin lady for a few days!

Hello. Sorry i only just had a chance to check replys. For naps he either has a sleep in car after lunch. Or i put him on my ergo carrier on my back and bounce him to sleep while my elder ds watches tv! Crazy i know!
He has not had daytime feeds since he was about 9 mo. But its a major comforter for him at night. I am thinking about introducing a bottle for bedtime then refusing feeds during night. But not sure if thats a good idea or not. It just seems a biy kinder than no milk at all.
He has had a cold for the last week or so. So i may try in a few days time once he is better. Getting dh to do the job for me isnt really an option. He is very much a mummys boy and i think he would be hysyerical if i refused to come see him when he cried.

I waited until my ds was old enough to understand words - Sleep time now, milk in the morning - as I couldn't bear to see him wanting a feed and for us not being able to explain to him why things had changed.

Strapping yourself in/hiding your boobs may help you to reinforce the message, twobusyboys.

Best of luck to you both.