So disheartened...

[blueberrypudding]

Posted previously about breastfeeding still being really hard at two months and am afraid to say it seems to have got worse in the last week.

My 9 week old took a formula feed last night (she had been rejecting the bottle for quite a while) because I was feeling very poorly. She had been feeding badly all day - very windy feeds with terrible latch and kept coming on and off. She feeds every 1 to 2 hours which seems very frequent - people told me it was a growth spurt but nothing seems to have changed after two months.

She only had 1oz of formula but seemed really full - she then went on to sleep for four hours during the night (she usually wakes every two hours for a feed). I was flabbergasted and a little worried that she only had an ounce but seemed to be really satisfied - does that mean she only takes that little from me? Is that why she's always hungry?

So this morning I kept offering her the boob after she came off (she was feeding really badly again) and she took it every time, but started to cry while feeding. When I winded her, she projectile vomited all over the sofa! She then went on to feed again twenty minutes later.

She's putting on loads of weight EBF, and she does have a tongue tie so that might explain the windy feeds (although this seems to have got worse recently), but I feel terrible for making her be sick, and I'm also so tempted to switch onto formula as she seemed happier on that! I really feel like a failure and my PND only seems to be getting worse day after day.

Sorry for the mammoth post but just needed a moan. I'm so upset this morning.

:( :( blueberry

So sad to hear about this - sounds like you need good real life help.

It is very possible that a tongue tie might affect your baby's ease when feeding.

It sounds like you'd be helped with an expert assessment, with a view to treating it.

I don't think it means anything in particular that she fell asleep after an ounce of formula.

Hope you find good help soon.

Also, there is nothing you have done/not done to suggest you are a 'failure' - that is your PND talking, making everything your 'fault' !

I would try and get the tongue tie sorted, had anyone assessed it?
My little one had a severe tongue tie. After constant nagging for a week with different HCP they decided to snip it (4 times :( ). She was feeding ok but was painful for me and took a while to feed properly once it was done. She was getting exhausted feeding after a short time before it was done and wasn't getting enough.
Keep up the good work, sounds like you are doing a great job.

Oh you poor thing. When feeding is an issue, it's a BIG issue IMO :( sounds like you're doing so well to still be bf - but it's not the be all and end all and especially your mental health is more important, so do what you need to please. I had huge issues with bf my first (tt, thrush, poor latch etc) and it seriously affected my bonding with him. I always swore I wouldn't do the same again, but dd is 5 weeks old and we're having similar issues :(

Your symptoms sound very familiar - pulling on and off, crying during feeds, being very windy. For us it's a combination of her tongue tie I think but also my overactive letdown. Is that an issue you're aware of? Dd pulls off and clicks to break the suction when I'm letting down as she struggles to cope with the jet stream.

Also, don't feel like you made her sick - I may be wrong but I'd be surprised if a bf baby could be 'forced' to take the boob if they didn't want it! Excess wind can cause vomiting too. Is the tt being assessed/revised? It's not a magic bullet, but it's a good starting point to eliminate possible problems.

Big hugs and I hope things improve soon. Is there a bf support group you can get to?