Combining breast feeding and expressing

[Vindy]

I'm about to have first baby and have been dicussing bf with DH.
He would love to be involved with night/evening feeds (see why I married him?) but agrees we should try BF to start.
When can I start expressing milk for him to feed baby and is it wise if not necessary (e.g. I'm not back at work) Is there any other way he can get good bonding contact with LO? Is nipple confusion a big issue? Does expressing make your milk supply dry up?
Sorry for all the questions. I can't seem to find any basic advice. In an ideal world we'd like me to BF apart from one or two evening expressed feeds from DH. Is this possible?

expressing is not recommended for the first 6 weeks by some guidelines.

there are loads of other ways your dh can feel very involved and bond with your baby. lovely when they are ever so tiny and sleep on his chest for example. bathing, nappy change, out in the push chair to give you a little lie in...

there is a book called BestFeeding which will be a good read for you right now. Also try to attend a breastfeeding support group before you have the baby. Seeing it in action with a tiny one beforehand can teach you stuff as well as already knowing where to go for help and support after the baby arrives.

I would agree not to express until you feel quite well established, you'll know yourself when that happens. It's also hard to guess how much to express in the first while. Also agree re the bathing, sleeping etc, having a bath with the lo is lovely, we did that as much as poss. I would actually suggest you do introduce a bottle at some point- I know a few women whose lo would not take one as they had been exclusivly bf and therefore made some issues quite difficult, so if you will bottle feed at some point bear that in mind. We gave ds a bottle of ebm at 8 weeks, and then once a month or so and we have never had any probs. However bear in mind that one great benefit of breastfeeding is that the lo will have a sterile gut, until you introduce a bottle, so if you have any family history of stomache problems I would hold off. And yes expressing will affect your supply, it's just not quite as effective as actualy feeding so you'll always get less and less, though by the quantities you're talking about (twice a week) rather than, say, one feed every day, I'm sure the days where you feed completely yourself it should keep you on track. FWIW I don't think my dh could have bonded any more with ds than he did and as I said, I didn't express much really. It's worth storing up lots if you feel you are over producing, for when you do bottle feed, I think it will keep for 8 weeks in the freezer. Good luck and HTH.

Don't be put off if you start to try to express straight away and you find you can't extract much. It takes a while and I would recommend that you establish the feeding first. As baby doesn't need that much early on you will usually only produce what you need. Early days are so tiring as well so it might benefit you if you don't try to do too much.
I got into the trap of overdoing it with my first, if I wasn't feeding I was expressing and I found it quite disheartening when I could only get an ounce or so - it tooks several "sittings" during the day to get a 3 or 4 oz bottle for the evening by which time I desperately needed the break. I felt like a cow hooked up to a milking machine!
With my third who is 7 weeks I was told to express as she didn't gain weight initially and I had to monitor the amount she was receiving. I was reluctant but it had to be done and I invested in an electric pump which is much easier.
Hopefully you will be lucky and have an abundant supply as lots of people do. Generally as well your milk supply will increase the more you feed and express anyway.

I was advised to introduce bottle at 4 weeks and i was v glad i did, as others i've known to wait a bit longer have had difficulty getting baby to take to bottle.

In my experience there were no nipple confusion probs at all. I started expressing at 3 weeks getting a couple of ounces here and there to store in freezer.

Expressing doesn't make your mild dry up it does the opposite - your body will produce as much as is needed so if you get in a routine of expressing each day it will continue to produce that extra amount.

It will be possible for your dh to feed one or two evenings - but i'd be tempted to try more frequently at first to ensure your baby gets used to it - going too long between ebm feeds may allow him to forget and refuse the next attempt iyswim.

I introduced ebm in bottle as i was returning to work at 12 weeks. But even though you are not working, its worth doing so that further down the line you know you can leave your baby with dh if you wanted to go out etc.
I got into the routine of expressing from one side whilst feeding from the other and found this gave the biggest quantities. I did this at least once a day to build up a big store in the freezer. Although you won't need so much, it may be worth expressing daily just to keep your supply at that speed. And of course you can express during the feed your dh is giving a bottle.
I continued this until dd was 6mths and then her feeds were less frequent so often she wouldn't need one whilst i was working, if she did i gave those single cartons of formula. She didn't actually stop breastfeeding until 2 years. So anything will work whatever suits your lifestyle!

Good luck and when are you due?

mild = milk!

IMO far more helpful for your dh to take the baby out for a walk while you sleep than to feed expressed milk. In the early days yOu get so engorged with feeding (and obv with expressing) that breastfeedign is acually a blissful relief! If you don't feed you get so full you can't rest anyway in the early weeks IME.
He can do loads. Bath the baby, change nappies, take baby for a walk, cuddle them, make you tea and meals, run your bath, pour you a nice glass of red wine.... the possibilities are endless. Feeding is not the be all and end all of baby care by any manner of means.

This is true, when your baby is born and looks into your dh's eyes, there won't be any probs with bonding at all!

I have to say though there was a tear in both mine and dp's eyes the first time dd took a bottle from him. It was just a v special moment when she looked at her daddy who was feeding her.

But i do agree it is not essential - but a nice luxury if you'll be wanting time to yourself further down the line.

I agree with biblio in that giving you some peace will be very beneficial, when you do feed, you have to sit down, therefore you rest, if your dh feeds, you either think "oh I'll just put that wash on/do those dishes/write that letter" so unless it's to stop you from getting broken nights you'll probably find it more hassle! The first time dh fed ds, I sat next to them and watched! What a waste of time!
When ds was born, it took about an hour for mvs to stitch me etc, dh just sat holding ds wrapped up, they just gazed at each other and tbh I think that was one of the most important moments; I only held him for about a minute after the birth then not again till about an hour and a half later, so they probably have a stronger bond than I do! (IYSWIM)

agree that expressing for the sake of giving a bottle feed is a waste of time. i only express because i work fulltime. dd took a bottle till she was 10 wks old and then refused a teat till she was forced back on them when i had to go back to work at 19 weeks. so all this about getting them used to it early is neither here or there IME.

Thanks everyone. It's been really helpful.

I'm due on Wednesday but have started having pretty strong contraction sthis morning so we'll see. Probabaly just fade away.

Love the idea of DH just holding LO. Making me feel all gooey inside.