I don't want to give up but... :(

[beanful]

Hoping someone can help and sorry for the long post. I had an emergency c section as had cord prolapse. Luckily my son was born ok but we both suffered complications post partum. He developed jaundice and became dehydrated. I lost a lot of blood in surgery, haemoglobin drastically dropped and on day 4 was diagnosed with paralytic ileus - my bowels completely stopped and I was violently sick, becoming dehydrated myself.

For the first couple of days, before we both became poorly, breast feeding went without a hitch. Then because DS was dehydrated and my milk just suddenly stopped, paediatricians and midwives told us to top feeding up with formula.

We spent a week in hospital and have been topping up ever since. I am taking iron supplements and trying to eat well including lactogenic foods but milk supply is still rubbish. I'm trying to express but don't seem to produce much and as I have large breasts I find the pump quite difficult to get into position which takes lots of effort and jigging around. Midwife has advised me just to express all day long but I'm getting sore. I put baby on both breasts each feed but his latch isn't as good - he won't open his mouth wide enough and constantly falls sleep on the breast but not on the bottle. He feeds every 4 hours approx but feeds are taking an hour and a half (including nappy change in the middle to wake him up) with breast and bottle so I'm exhausted.

I feel like I'm failing him despite really trying and getting so upset. I've cried most of today and feel, selfishly, like all this is hindering my recovery a little too. It would be so easy to give up and just formula feed but I want to give him the best start in life. I don't know what to do.

Didn't want to read and run although am not really qualified to give advice, just another breastfeeding mum. I had emergency section with a difficult recovery with my dd, it is hard even without bf problems so please don't beat yourself up.
What do you want to do? I know you want what is best for your son, what mother doesn't, but maybe if you aren't sure what you want to do, perhaps you could look at what would be best for him holistically?
Do you have a bf cafe near you? My local peer supporters do home visits so perhaps they can help with latch and massage techniques to improve expressing.
There are also drugs that can help with milk production.
Sorry I'm not much help, hopefully someone will be along soon.

Have you had him checked for tongue/lip tie? This can affect latch.

If he's falling asleep on the breast you can try tickling him under the chin/on his cheek to keep him going.

When my ds was very young feeds would take forever. I didn't have the complications you've had (I had different ones!) but as long as he's getting regular wet nappies you know he's hydrated. Has your midwife given you any advice?

Sorry I didn't read your op properly! Expressing all day sounds like a lot of work. I'd rather have him feeding constantly than do that I think.

Please give la Leche League a call- they are brilliant.

You may benefit from a Supplementary Nursing System for a while to get your supply up, especially if you find expressing difficult. But you will need some support to use it. Don't give up, most breastfeeding problems are resolved with good support.

I know this is going to sound obvious but when I was bf my first born it took a third midwife to point out where we were going wrong on latch. (by which time he was asleep and I was in agony and lacerated) Make sure baby is positioned below the nipple before he latches on. [I think this is also to do with having bigger breasts (me too).] That way you can sort of lower the nipple towards baby's nose which ends up in the right place!

What times are you expressing? I had c section and topped up with formula due to jaundice (which I think now was bad advice)

I got my milk up by expressing after the night feeds. This is when the hormone is strongest and it is these supplies that put up supply in the day. I got back to fully breast feeding very quickly. I only expressed tho as couldn't bf without shields of expressing.

Hi I am no expert but has similar issues with a sleepy baby who developed jaundice. I nearly have up numerous times but got through it with the advice given here and at a local bf cafe. I was told to feed every 3 hrs to clear jaundice and get milk supply going and happy to say we are still EBF at 4.5 months and I'm so glad I did as it's now easy and such a joy! I found the nct helpline very useful and they normally have someone in your area who can come and see you in person if necessary .
I also found if I was stressed I couldn't express as the milk wouldn't let down

Wow Mirshid - great advice. OP if you have the strength please follow her advice. But remember to just do what works for you at the end of the day. It's got to work for you.

I had some similar complications post-birth and really struggled to produce sufficient milk -ended up expressing and mixing but not producing much at all, and breastfeeding took hours as you say. At the time I was advised by the NCT bf counsellor to mix feed and that meant I was able to keep giving some breastmilk until after the 6 month mark.

Interestingly when my first baby notes were reviewed for subsequent pregnancy the midwives were amazed I'd managed to breastfeed at all - apparently with my catastrophic PPH and haemoglobin level of 5, I probably wasn't producing much milk at all as my body was concentrating on my survival. Wish they'd bloody told me that at the time as I felt so guilty for not exclusively bf. With both babies I did a mix of bf, formula top up (and last feed), and for the first weeks also pumping.

Trying to bf and express too is double the work of normal bf and I don't think it's sustainable unless you have a lot of support at home. I had to stop expressing 2nd time when at about 8 weeks I no longer had help from MIL etc, and was lucky to have had it that long. Tiredness and stress will also reduce supply. Anaemia will massively contribute to tiredness - have they checked your iron levels recently and have they suggested a transfusion (as you drastically dropped)? If offered it's worth it as you'll feel like a different woman. Is the valve on your pump working properly - if split at all there won't be enough suction, you can order replacements online,

You're doing brilliantly and giving your baby the best start - even a little breastmilk is better than none. Ultimately though I believe happy mummy = happy baby.

Thank you all for your support and advice. Drs nearly gave me a transfusion in hospital but decided a few weeks of iron tablets would work instead. We were feeding every three hours as advised in hospital but then told on discharge to go to on demand as jaundice was down to normal levels and now has completely cleared. DS now wakes himself every 3.5-4 hours for a feed. He has a wet nappy every time I change him at each feed so at least I know he's getting enough, even if mostly from a bottle. I'm going to ring for breastfeeding advice tomorrow and have midwife coming on Wednesday so will seek advice about latching. Sorry for distanced reply, writing one-handed on phone whilst feeding! Thanks again for all your advice x

Just wanted to mention if you have large breasts and the pump hurts you, maybe the standard breast shields are not the right measure, you could try some extra large ones which generally can be ordered separately. Good luck!

I hope you get the help you need today.

Another piece of advice (which I always spout on here) - lansinoh nipple cream really saved me early on. Cracked sore nipples, sorted out quick smart. Use it after every feed. I still use it occasionally more than a year down the line.

Do call one of the help lines or get along to one of the support groups in your area. You haven't said how old your baby is but hours is a very long time between feeds. It maybe that baby needs to feed more often which in turn will increase your supply.