Is BF still meant to be so hard two months in?

[blueberrypudding]

Don't mean to be a downer but just wanted to ask if anyone's still struggling with breastfeeding two months in?

I hate to complain - I didn't have any of the problems usually associated with BFing. Baby has plenty of milk, never really had painful nipples aside from when she was cluster feeding early on, she's putting on weight very rapidly.

But every feed still feels like a huge struggle and more often than not leaves me in tears. I've got really fast letdown and she chokes and sputters on the breast - now she's even started to cry and has taken to hitting me on the chest when frustrated. She's got terrible wind and colic because she gulps. Winding her makes her upset. When I tried block feeding she got upset because she wasn't getting as much as she used to. She feeds on the hour, every hour, without fail, aside from at night when she goes two hours.

So I'm not in pain but emotionally I feel completely drained and like I'm letting her down. And there doesn't seem to be a solution for it. Everything I read says that BFing is established and gets easier after a few weeks... is this true? Am I going to be feeling like this for the next four months at least?

Does she have a tongue tie by any chance? Mine did and struggled with the initial flow of milk, gulped a lot and then needed winding and possetted a lot.

Have you tried taking her off when you feel the letdown and catching the gush in a muslin before putting her back on? Feeding with her as upright as possible or on top of you so milk is going upwards not downwards might also help.

I also wonder about tongue tie. Could you ask your health visitor for a referral to a lactation consultant? Do you notice anything else during feeding apart from what you have already mentioned? Any clicking noises / drooling milk etc?

My experience was pretty much exactly like yours. Dd was colicky/refluxy and seemed to need feeding all the time.

I decided to give up at 10 weeks. I bought formula and bottles, but because my supply was so abundant I couldn't just stop as I got so engorged. So I gave some bottles, and then breast fed some of the time. And suddenly bfing became so much easier! I don't know it it was because psychologically there was less pressure, or whether I had oversupply previously, and the slight reduction in supply made feeding easier. Or whether it would have just became easier anyway. But suffice to say, I actually then continued to bf til 12 months. I had the bottles there, and if I felt like asking dp to give her a bottle occasionally it was no biggy.

Your supply is probably reasonably established by now, maybe try mix feeding if it is that or giving up completely? Baby will still get all the antibodies etc when you do bf.

Hi TheScience - she has got a slight tongue tie, and we've got an appointment for the 20th of June. It seems like ages away though. Did you get yours snipped and did you find it improved things?

I've tried taking her off, which works okay, but she screams when I do it. She sometimes then sucks even harder when I put her back on, which only exacerbates the problem. I've tried positional feeding but it doesn't seem to help overmuch - she starts clicking like she's losing suction and then chokes and comes off (I think her nostrils might be slightly covered).

I'm hoping that the frenulotomy will sort everything but it's a whole month away. Feels like I'm losing steam. Last night while sobbing that my milk is what's causing all her problems I asked if DH could give her a formula feed for her last feed of the night. It was only when he went, "Is that really what you want?" that I snapped out of it and decided to persevere.

So sorry for ranting - I'm exhausted and a little emotionally wrecked.

ImSoOverIt, it's so great to hear that that worked for you. How did you start introducing the formula? Did you just substitute some feeds? Did you start with any particular ones that you felt made it easier?

I'm just so worried that starting her on formula would mean I'll completely give up BFing, so it's so good to hear success stories for mixed feeding.

My dd had tongue tie too! Got it corrected, not really sure if it made a difference!

I can't really remember how it did it. I think I just started the bottle feeds and realised my boobs were still really full so fed her from my boobs, then something twigged in my head when I realised it wasn't going to kill me/her to give her the odd bottle and that somehow made it easier.

I remember speaking to my gp when I wanted to give up and she said even if I gave her just a thimble full of bm before bottles it would get all the antibodies.

I ended up pretty much going back to ebf but kept some formula in the cupboard (cartons so it didn't go off) which psychologically took the pressure off I think.

It was also great as when I went back to work when she was 9 months the cm just gave her formula during the day, and I bf her morning and night. I still seemed to have enough supply to do that, and didn't leak at all during the day at work, as I wasn't pumping my boobs furiously to get enough ebm. Of course she was on solids then so didn't need as much

Then at around 12 months she seemed to be less satisfied after her night feeds, so I put her straight on to a beaker/sippy cup of cows milk, and my supply naturally seemed to tail off, which was fine as I was happy with 12 months.

This is what worked for me, I know mixed feeding is not for everyone, but I honestly think it helped me continue to the 12 month mark, as essentially she got an awful lot of the good stuff in that time.

The tongue tie snip (at 3 weeks) did improve feeding but didn't cure everything. I think it has just also got easier as he's got bigger/older and your supply settles down. He is 11 weeks now and bfing is easy now, though still pretty frequent - averaging every 2 hours day and night.

I don't think there's any harm in mix feeding either. DS1 had an 11pm bottle from 4 months until 9 months, plus occasional bottles from DP if I wanted to go out. DS2 has had occasional 11pm bottles from 8 weeks. Sometimes I need 5-6 hours sleep in a row! I fed DS1 for over a year.

I had my dd's tie cut at 14 weeks. It has taken a few weeks to improve, and my supply also took a few weeks to settle down (it was very high due to all the spitting up, several bigs ones a day). Now, feeds are shorter, (perhaps 30 mins jnstead of hours) and feeds get "finished", but there is still 1 or 2 big spit ups a day, her latch remains small and still a fair amount of milk gets dribbled.

So, it's not fixed, but it's so much better. I also feel less drained from not having to produce so much, the fast let downhas rreduced. I'm also happier as it was getting me down endlessly feeding and sitting in spit up.

I went private, as I couldn't bear the 4 weeks till my hospital appointment. Cost £110 and got seen in 2 days.

My DD didn't have tongue tie, or feed as regularly as yours, but ... I did find it got easier emotionally and physically at 12 weeks. Suddenly I wasn't as engorged and everything made a bit more sense. The 12 week growth spurt is a tough one, but it did feel easier on the a other side.

I'm now still bf at 7 months.