please tell me it'll get better

[CbeebiesIsAboutToPop]

I'm so close to giving up but I really dont want to, so instead I'm going to sit here crying until I get a grip.

DS is 2 weeks old, for the first 36 hours of his life he was bottle fed (apart from the first couple of feeds) I've done really well and from day 5 I have been exxclusevly breastfeeding him and I'm really proud of that (many midwives who saw me in the early days told me i would fail and there was no point in even trying)

DS hardly slept last night, in total I got 4 hours sleep (2 of thoes were between 6 and 8am when I gve him to dh because I couldn feed him anymore ) he was just feeding all night. He's continued that trend today and has literaly been on the boob all day, I've just been switching from one side to the other non stop.

I have a 2 year old who cant cope, she wants mummy and has been tantrumming all day, she refused to take a nap and then fell asleep at 3.30 and didnt wake up till 6pm. I have a 3 year old who also fell asleep at 3.30 and woke up at 6pm, neither of them have been fed yet and their bed time is at 7pm...its never going to happen after this afternoons nap.

Despite DH being on paternity leave, he went to a very important meeting today, so today was my first day with 3 under 4 by myself I'm exhausted from lack from sleep, cant give them any attention, have had cbeebies on all day (you know its bad when your 2 year old says 'but we watched this one already!)

DH was meant to be home at 5pm and when he hadnt materialised at 6pm I phoned him only to find out hes stuck in traffic and wont be home for another hour. I shouted at him and told him I didnt want to talk to him again. I know its not his fault, he's stuck in traffic, but its just been so diffuiclt today and he shouldnt even be back at work till Monday

I have no food in the house to feed the girls, DH was meant to be bringing dinner home so have just ordered pizza now I'm sat here feeling like a crap parent waiting for the oh so healthy pizza and potato wedges for the girls dinner wondering if I should just give in and give DS a bottle as it would be so much easier as at least I wouldnt be in constant pain from feeding him all the time.

I've just had enough.

Tell me it gets better please

please excuse the typos, I'm typing 1 handed whilst feeding through tears

i think in reality the 'baby blues' have caught up with me today, i've been feeling really happy and good about life up until today.

It does get better. I seem to recall they have a bit of a growth spurt around this stage so the continuous feeding serves 3 purposes, it gives them what the need; builds up your supply (as in supply and demand...); and it comforts them.

Your older DC will not be scarred for life by napping late, eating pizza or watching TV. Ok, it will make bedtime later, but by then DH will be home, he can hold the baby while you take some time out with the older 2. They will then remember that you took the time to put them to bed, listen to them talk, etc.

Don't feel guilty. You don't need to be super mum! I gave 3 DC too, but mind are across 6 years, they can still be challenging. I gave never tried to be perfect, I only need to be good enough.

BTW well done for establishing feeding despite people telling you you wouldn't.

Wow, I feel for you!

It definitely gets better/easier.
Breast feeding is sooo demanding. My DD fed every 2 hours during the day and it felt like she was never out of my arms.
I learned to do everything with one hand.
Do you have family close by who could help you?
x
p.s enjoy your pizza and don't feel guilty

i only have 2 dcs one is almost 3, the other 11weeks, i can totally relate to feeling torn, watching a bit too much beebies and feeling guilt that dinners are not up to usual standards, as mentioned above, i suspect your baby is in the midst of a growth spurt, it will have settled in a day or two, and a bit more tv and pizza treat is fine, don't let it get you down, hope you have an easy weekend planned, i felt the same when dc2 was a few weeks old and we cancelled our weekend plans and just pottered about at home and to the local shops for cake, not sure if thats possible, but might be a good plan to recharge your batteries
before dh goes back to work?

thank you.

the dc are tucking into pizza, DH is home (and actually was lovely when i burst into tears as he walked through the door!) and DS is zonked out (probably from all the feeding!) We're all sat watching Tinkerbel and the girls think its all a real treat!

we have nothing planned for tomorrow, hoping ds is'over' his growth spirt this weekend and when dh goes back to work next week things are a little easier.

I also realised that because of the non stop feeding i havent used any lasinoh cream, probably why i am so sore today!

Phew, DS has just gone 2 hours between his last 2 feeds, fed for 15 minutes then went back to sleep. I really hope this continues! my nipples could do with the break!

It does get better I promise! Things that I've found helpful while breastfeeding DD (now 17 weeks), while looking after DD1 (nearly 3) and DS (5).

1. Going out is easier than staying in! DD will feed, feed, feed if I stay in but will sleep for periods if I'm out. Plus the kids are entertained and don't constantly bug me.

2. I use my sling ALOT! School run, trips to the park, making dinner etc is all made easier by putting her in the sling. I've now mastered feeding in it so there's no stopping me now!

3. I have myself a cut off point. My DD wouldn't feed lying down so I stayed awake ALL night sat bolt up right feeding on the sofa. I had to have some rest so every day at 4am I would wake DH and give him baby and go bed until 8am. Sometimes she would just sleep on him other times he would give her a bottle.

4. Start expressing so if you need to you can give baby to hubby and he can feed a bottle if needed.

5. When your husband goes back to work ask him to do things in the morning for you like getting older two dressed first, putting breakfast out and doing packed lunches and leaving in the fridge for you all.

6. Get someone (hubby, mum, friends etc) to do a bit of batch cooking so you can have some healthy meals in the freezer for when you can't quite manage to cook tea.

7. Don't stress if you can't manage to do everything you wanted to do in a day. I would set myself simple targets like have a shower or do two loads of washing, go to the park etc.

8. Get yourself to a breastfeeding cafe if you can and get some real life support. You can start to feel isolated so a real life network of people who have been through the same is so important.

9. Never give up on a bad day! I've had more than my fair share and lots of difficulties with feeding but I'm proud I haven't given up and have kept plodding on because I know soon enough it will become super easy.

10. Despite what people tell you giving a bottle of formula does not mean you have ruined all your hard work. Better to give yourself a break so you can carry on than exhaust yourself trying to exclusively feed and end up giving up.

I hope that helps and good luck :)

Oh, you poor thing. I remember with DD, her first growth spurt went on for 24 hours non stop hourly feeds. We ended up putting her in the car and driving her around so she could get some sleep and then having fish and chips in the car. We sat in this car park for I don't know how long as I was scared of going home in case she woke up again. You obviously could not do that as you have other dc.

Two weeks in they are still really little, you are doing very well. What other RL support do you have apart from DH? I would make sure and call that in, for practical help.

It gets better, I promise. There will be growth spurts from time to time (I've been stuck on the sofa underneath EBF 18wo DD for about a week!) but in between them it gets easier.

Congratulations on your baby. It already seems a lifetime ago that DD was 2 weeks old

Last night was so much better. He went 2-3 hours between each feed and slept in his crib! He's going 1.5-2 hours between feeds this morning which is really good too (it's an improvement and I'll take it!)

Thank you so much, we'll keep going as I do know it will get better...it has to or people would give up sooner and not bf subsuquent children, right?! (this is my 3rd child but 1st bf baby so I really have no idea)

My mum lives close by, but she has a 7yo and a 4yo to look after and she home schools so it's not always practical for her to help out.

I'm glad you had a better night.

I was just thinking, a friend of mine who had twins and a toddler applied to the local college for a 'helper'.
People who are training in childcare need to have hands on experience. You could contact them and see if anyone is looking for a placement.

Enjoy your weekend.