Ok, so tell me about your experiences trying to get your baby to take ebm...

[TheBreastmilksOnMe]

My dd is 4 months old and next month I am returning to work part time and have 4 weeks to settle her into nursery. Not only is she extremely attached to me and is anxious around strangers (i know it's natural) but she is breastfed exclusively and i'm struggling to get her to accept my milk from a bottle.

So i'd be most grateful to hear any stories or advice from people who have been through similar. I've tried giving milk from a syringe and a teaspoon but it's more than just a feed isn't it? She likes to fall asleep snuggled up on my chest. I'm really not looking forward to it. Help!

Tbh babies do adjust to nursery,she will too.she will feed,she wont fall asleep on bare breast
Get someone else not you to ebm feed,you not be around.try get her used to it
With nursery it is nutrition,it isnt more than feeding.with you obviously its physical bond

I recently finished nursery settling DD is now 6 months. She was EBF. At 4.5 mo started trying with bottles, she refused so used a NUK sippy. Couple of days of trying, sometimes before / mid / after feeds and she took it. Gradually upped frequency every 3-4 days to replace 3 day feeds. Was quite stressed about it when she was refusing. My goal was that the nursery staff could give her some liquid, and a bonus if it was sufficient to prevent reverse cycling, and it's turned out fine. I still BF in the morning, evening and night. Now using Tommy tippe bottles in the day, quite fast flow, and she seems fine with that as well.

Regarding sleep the nursery staff will do their best ime. She will gain new sleep cues - perhaps use a gro bag at nursery, a favourite cuddly/toy.

I've just ordered two of those NUK sippy cups from Amazon as she is refusing a bottle. Thanks for that.

Can anyone else ebm feed your dd?
She'll settle because she has to adjust.

She refuses whoever attempts but when i try she turns in towards my chest. I've done it before with dd1 but she was a little bit older. I dont remember how I did it though but I do remember it being traumatic, for both of us. She cried and cried for weeks and so did I. That's why I'm not looking forward to it.

So stop crying,make someone else ebm feed her.she obv associates you with bf
Your baby picks up on your mood,if youre upset she detect. It doesn't need be traumatic
Get yourself in a more positive frame mind,this is a task,it needn't be traumatic

It's only after she's been crying everyday for 2 weeks solid do I give in and join her. It IS traumatic to hear your tiny baby so distressed and not be able to explain to her what you are trying to do. I'm an anxious mother and do attachment parenting so it does affect me a lot because it totally goes against my instincts. But. We will get through it and I'm just looking for practical solutions like the suggestion of NUK bottles and stories of success.

Yes it is hard.but you need to hold it together and someone else try feeding too
Try different brand bottles eg avent,nuk,doidy cup or doidy cup or first sips
Its a task you need ti crack,and yiu need ti be upbeat doing this,as do others
Can someone else help too,they assist so that gets it started

My 8 week old was breast fed until a few weeks ago when I gave up and started exclusively expressing because she was taking over an hour to feed every time. This is working much better because expressing and feeding her now takes only twenty minutes and after a couple of unsure cried, she let me husband feed her too as long as initially I was there beside them.

Earlier today her grandmother who she barely knows visited, and asked if she could give her a bottle - I let her and and she started screaming during the feed. Ever since this afternoon she now won't feed, even from me and my husband. We only manage to get her to feed by putting her favourite toy elephant at the end of the bottle and she thinks the elephant is feeding her -when I took the elephant away she screamed.

Is she ever going to trust me again? What can I do?

Youve changed an established routine,thats not breaching trust,keep it in perspective

Try getting someone else to feed your DD from a bottle -she'll smell you & the milk and wont settle if she knows the boob is there. That's why babies settle at nursery - no boob smell. With my DD I couldn't even be in the same room and if I was out of the house, things went so much more smoothly.

If she's reluctant to take a bottle, try a sippy cup. My DD never fed from a bottle but was happy taking from a sippy cup.

Yes,as i said it needs to be someone else get the ebm going.she associate you with bf
Nursery she'll go with new routine as she knows they'll not bf her
And you do need to be upbeat about this,even if you're not really feeling it

Op my 14w dd was a bottle refuser too until I needed to go to work for 2-3 hours. I left a bottle with my mum thinking she wouldn't need it. She took it with no fuss, no tears. I think she just needed me to not be there.

Susannah- maybe it's nothing to do with earlier, she might be unwell or teething?

Thanks everyone, I will try and keep perspective scottishmum, I just feel as though it's damaging for her to feel so much stress from seperation so young. She thinks I've abandoned her with strange people and I'm gone. Hate it, hate it, hate it.

No.your daughter doesn't think youve abandoned her. you think youve abandoned her
You really need to reframe your frames of reference,the punitive language you use
Like mothers do youre working.thats how it goes,you dont need a baby glued to you .just be good enough will do.

Loose the wacky books and harsh ideology.cut yourself some bloody slack

You're very straight to the point, Scottishmummy and I appreciate it. I will try and change my perspective on it otherwise I'm going to find it harder then it needs to be.

Youre good enough.you're available and you love her.stop punishing yourself
Throw the sling away,throw away the books,no more blogs,or websites
Youre beating yourself up,missing the good stuff cause you're so worried you're bad

Is it that obvious? You are so on the nail Scottishmummy. I feel guilty all the time, always anxious, scared of damaging them, always trying to be better, crying on the phone to my mum the other day because I felt so far removed from the mum I want to be.

I love my sling though! Not throwing that away! Are you psychic by the way?

Sling the sling.stop mooning on daft hippy blogs,and stop all the punishing language
Babies need consistency,and availablity to carer.you are that already.more than you credit self
You also pragmatically need to work,that doesn't impair bond.so lose the guilt and get on with it

Love you Scottishmum, you're a breath of fresh air x

Live by the good enough mum yep that's adequate
You're underestimating the great stuff you do,rapport,cuddles,consistent available
Don't under estimate that day to day bond. No one needs hippy mc shite telling them to be more attatched,guilting out all the time

I AM GOOD ENOUGH. there.

Fucking right,so live by good enough.
Stop punishing yourself. Attachment parenting has become a competitive look at us mantra

I never jumped on the 'attachment parenting' wagon, it's just the way I parent, I do it naturally and I only realised last week that there was a name for it. I enjoy extended breastfeeding, co-sleeping, sling wearing. I never read up on it, it just happened that way. I wouldn't want to do it any other way, i'd just like to lose the anxiety/guilt loop my brain seems to be stuck in.

You're going back to work,good for you.thats how it is,so lose the guilt
Your language about yourself has been harsh,reread it.and modify it
Bf,etc by all means but its a task its not a way to better or more fulfilled kids