Am I punishing my dd for my EBF ambitions?

[Hopefully]

I posted last week about my low supply issues. Having seen a BFC it seems inevitable that she will be topped up at some stage, but I had been determined to get her to 6 weeks exclusively, despite v slow weight gain (currently 4.5 weeks).

However, she's only pooing once a week (disclaimer: I know this isn't indicative of low supply all alone, but we are confident I have a genuine low supply issue) and she is having about 48 hours of misery - straining, screaming, lots of wind etc - before each poo, and the poo is v thick when it does come out - far thicker than toothpaste, but not solid. I am wondering whether having more volume going in might help keep everything moving through and make her less uncomfortable, as well as resolving the lack of weight gain more quickly.

I just can't decide if the benefits of EBF for another couple of weeks outweigh the benefits of being able to fill her up, keep her pooing and give her enough calories to grow . Help me with my crisis of confidence!

hopefully - it's hard. My DS was in SCBU for a few dats when he was born due to a difficulty birth and low blood sugars as a result.

He also was very long but very skinny. Taking it all into consideration, the paeds were worried about him and my milk hadn't come in. I hand expressed the colostrum and he was on a glucose drip for a bit but we agreed that he could be tube fed some formula too. I was terribly upset and insisted on HiPP organic rather than the hospital formula as I felt I needed some control over the process.

The paed was very respectful of that and ensured that that was all that DS got for the three days that were needed until I got the expressing established. I then had a quite horrible two weeks of trying and failing to establish breastfeeding naturally whilst he couldn't latch in due to TT, expressing and cup feeding until the paed told me to stop worrying about the manner of delivery and just focus on the fact that DS was being fed. It was good it was breast milk but, if I had to give formula top ups, not to beat myself up about it. Both he and my GP have said that they support breastfeeding but they both believe that more research needs done on the benefits as it's a matter of fact, in the uk! that more "naice" middle class mothers do it. But they also do other, different things too for their children (such as reading to them more) which could affect the results regarding intelligence etc.

All you can do is try your best, that us all that can be expected of you. And, I think, try and focus on some of the benefits of bottle feeding - whatever is in the bottle. My DH looks after DD from 8-11 every night to give me a break and does one while night - either Friday or Saturday of night wakings. It sounds shallow, but I was at the hairdresser (in between expresses) when she was 4 weeks on my own. Plus DD and DS both sleep very well and I think the large volumes of breast milk from the bottle help with that.

I'm in awe of how much you are night feeding. I'd have been on my knees by now

Am trying not to get weepy at everyone being nice, have been feeling awful (irrationally) about 'failing' DD after 'failing' the boys (I know I haven't really failed, but that's how I feel! I fed both DSs for 10-11 months, so I know I can keep BFing and I'm not a disaster).

Oddly the lack of sleep doesn't bother me terribly - if I had to choose I'd have big gaps in the day to make managing 3 DCs and two businesses easier, and feed all night!

I know how you feel. I be the other 2 for a combined 3 years. dd2 just doesn't feed . I did feel like a failure. But I've come to understand that although every ml of bm is an achievement, if I have to put her on formula then so be it. her health is more important.

hopefully - have a hug. I felt exactly the same with DD. I've seen a million lactation consultants/doulas/midwives. I don't have a supply problem. DD has a "perfect" latch post TT op and yet, for some unknown reason, she can't transfer milk properly. Same with DS.

I'll tell you something I've not really admitted before, but when I went out with DS, I obviously had to bottle feed and I got my norks in a right twist over the fact that people would see me and think I was feeding....formula......when I wasn't.

I have no idea why I had an issue with that because I see lots of folk bottle feeding and never give it a second thought - pre or post babies. there is nothing wrong with formula However, I was convinced everyone would look at me and judge me negatively. It was really bad and I became quite a recluse for about 2 weeks until DH sorted me out. But I think it's just an indication of how it is very difficult to be rational about this sometimes - particularly when lack of sleep is also included

Ps - please let me congratulate you on all the other things you are doing at the same time. Superwoman

Just to update, have just had her weighed and she has gained 4.5oz in a week, since starting fenugreek last Friday. HV pushing top ups big time, but BFC happy with her gain (she has slipped fractionally lower on the charts, but if she had gained an oz more she'd be following a line). If it had been a minimal gain I would be topping up immediately, and if it had been a bit more I wouldn't be contemplating top ups, but I feel like we're falling into that grey zone a bit ATM!

I'm going to go and buy formula and bottles tomorrow, and play it by ear for a couple of days - she has started being more contented and going actual (small) gaps between feeds and even thrown in an extra poo this week, and if that continues I might hold off for another week till next weds' weigh in.

Gobbolino I have exactly the same paranoia! Madness.

I have a 3 1/2 month baby and at 6 weeks was in the same sort of situation with my baby dropping nearly 2 centiles. I very reluctantly added one bottle of formula at 6pm and it was great. He's since piled on the weight fast and the pressure is off me in the evenings.