Breastfeeding blues!

[Twopoint4children]

Hello,

My DS is 8 months and has been exclusively breastfed with no formula, just solids obviously now. We had an amazing first 3 months of feeding and he was a dream feeder! Just took to it instantly. My Dd was a nightmare but I was still able to make it to nearly 11 months and then just topped up with formula as she took to food so quickly.

With DS, since 3 months it has been hell if I am honest. Various issues meant he became difficult to feed and we have gone through major distractibility between 4-6 months, dips in milk supply and still getting up 3-4 times at night. He has always been fed to sleep at night but settled himself perfectly in the day. Again he just got into this with few tears. Now, he has to be fed, rocked, patted to sleep. Usually all 3!

I think I have had enough now and thinking a bottle in the evening would mean bedtimes are not the hour endurance like now, which is hard with a 3 year old, I won't worry constantly about supply, and he may, just may sleep a little longer and learn he can't rely on the boob when he wakes. I really am exhausted now and if honest miserable and I think this is impacting on the day.

Why do I feel so guilty?!? Anyone been or in same position/mindset?

Also to add...DS seems to be using me as a dummy too lots at the moment which he hasn't really done apart from the early early days.

Could be a number of things affecting it (one after another possibly?) - growth spurts, teething, separation anxiety, bugs during the winter etc.

It's rotten having to get up so often in the night. Have you tried just offering water in the night? My ds stopped asking when this was all we offered! My dp also got up to him sometimes to share the load.

Sleep training is also something to consider, as at this age he should be able to sleep through with a little guidance.

I'll admit I only have one dc which I'm sure made all this a lot easier! But if it'll help with the guilt, you should try a few different avenues before giving up. Good luck!

Hi kinkytoes,

Thanks for the reply. I should try the water. I have always fed him to save waking up my dd but it does have to stop as exhausted and just habit now. Think cutting it out would help most of it really.

Did you offer water in a bottle or cup as DS will not really take either. Did your cd cry/resist. My milk supply feels really low so he has gone to bed literally sucking for 2-3mins, then waking 20 mins later for same. Not sure why we have months like this where supply feels low and he doesn't try for it. Not sure what comes first!

Water from a bottle. He hardly ever had a bottle except for a few times I had to express when he was younger and then those times with water at night. I was lucky perhaps!

Just a thought, could your dd go to gps or a friend for the first night or two you try? Might make it a little easier if there's any upset and you'd feel more relaxed about it?

Yes there were a few tears, his and mine, but each night was easier than the last and we cracked it in only three nights (this was more with the sleep training than the water though - he accepted that pretty readily, and I sent dp in so he couldn't smell the milk on me!)

The only time I had supply issues was when I stopped him feeding before he was ready. I got into a habit of thinking he should be done now, time to unlatch him. Worst thing I could have done! Once I got back to feeding him till he was finished/asleep, those problems went away.

Sorry this has all come out a bit jumbled I hope it all makes sense!