21 weeks feeding 5 times a night - will it ever end?

[Italianbride]

This is my second baby and I'm exclusively breastfeeding. I didn't manage to feed my first as he was born prematurely and had several hospital stays in his first 3 months (he's now a healthy 18 month old). Feeding is going well and I'm so pleased to have got this far.

BUT the night feeding is slowly killing me. Over the last few weeks we've increased from 2 feeds a night to 3, then 4 and now 5. I've tried offering more during the day but that makes no difference. Every night I think it must get better but it doesn't. I don't have the luxury of a lie in/naps as I've got to be up for DS1.

He's a lovely baby, very smiley and content during the day but a feeding monster at night. No one I know in RL has a baby who wakes so often at this age. I guess I just needed to vent as I put a brave face on every day while battling with exhaustion.

Hi Italianbride
I don't have a lot to add but do you feed lying down in bed? Once I mastered that I found I could doze off during feeds which helped me stay a little less exhausted. Night time milk is also full of really good stuff - more so than during the day so maybe ds2 prefers this!

You've done really well still BF at 21 weeks. My ds is 14 months and we still manage a couple of feeds a day. He always fed several times during the night until he was about 10 months, but I know other people who's older babies still feed several times a night. I use to get so annoyed with people telling me their babies slept through with no feeds!

Prob just a phase. Most things are! It won't be long before you can consider introducing solids if you follow the usual HV advice of 6 months.

Oh bless you, it's so hard. My second baby did exactly the same. He was just mega hungry, he'd feed every 45 minutes overnight then go 4-5 hours without feeding during the day. He very nearly broke me. Of course it is just a phase and it WILL improve, but it does take time. He started to cut down about 10-11 months and was on 2 feeds at night by 12 months, we stopped overnight feeds about 14 months but he still woke up and didn't sleep through until over 2. He just was (and still is) quite a poor sleeper. Be reassured that it's nothing that you are doing, some babies are just like that. By the way, I switched him to formula at 10 months but it made little difference, it was just more hassle. It did highlight just how hungry he was though as he'd have a bedtime feed of 13oz and overall he'd take in about 27oz overnight.
Do whatever you can to make things easy for yourself - can your h do night feeds for a night to give you a break? Have a nap during the day whenever you can.

Have you tried having him in a sling during the day and letting him feed on demand? We had a few weeks here when both where super hungry 20 ish weeks onwards for a few weeks. They fed roughly hourly during the day ie 8am-11pm, then we took to bed when we did and slept 11am to morning luckily.

Can you try every hour 7am-11pm roughly then refusing to feed at night? They should be able to go 8 hrs over night fine at that age. Maybe if dh deals with wakings for a few nights so milk isnt an option?

Hi,

I actually asked this question on MN just the other day!

My 20 week old is back to feeding every three hours at night (and sometimes less) but easily going fours hours plus during the day. It's hard with just one so in in awe of people who manage with a second to look after too!

I hope it's a phase, and I've been trying to encourage mine into feeding more during the day to see if it offsets the nights.

Good luck!!

I went through this with DS, who's just about to turn 7mo (30 weeks). From 20 weeks until 28 or so nearly broke me. He wanted to eat all the time . He ate all day, he ate all night!

In the last 2 weeks he's settle down LOADS and we are miraculously down to 2 feeds between 6pm and 6.30am. He does wake a bit more than twice but can usually be soothed by a little shush/patting or a cuddle from DH. It's MILES better than it was.

I thought I would go crazy from the sleep deprivation and I didn't have another LO to mind. Well done to you. This will pass (and then another delightful phase will be ushered in!)

DS1 did similar at about that age, and after a couple of weeks I'd had enough and cut down to 4 hourly feeds at night, with DP offering dummy/cuddles/water etc if he woke between feeding times.

Thanks for all your replies - it does help to hear I'm not the only one to go through this!

Co-sleeping is not for me plus we now don't have a spare room so DH would have to sleep on the floor! We have moved DS2 to his own room and I do think he sleeps better in his cot. It's just the frequency of night feeds which are the issue.

Because we've also got DS1 I guess I'm afraid to try anything other than offering the boob to DS2 when he wakes in the night for fear of waking his older brother. I know I can feed and settle him quickly whereas who knows how long it would take otherwise. But I do think I'm going to have to bite the bullet and start sending DH in to try to get him back to sleep.

Every night I go to bed with positive thoughts thinking it could be the night for change. And every night I'm disappointed. I don't like to wish time away but man I'm ready for some more sleep!

TheScience how did that work for you? Did it stop your LO waking for feeds? How long did it take??

Don't worry too much about waking your older one, it's amazing what they can sleep through. My oldest two share, my middle one (who is the one who fed 4/5 times a night) now has sleep terrors and regularly wakes screaming for 20-30 minutes and my oldest one never even stirs.
Personally, I'd be tempted to move yours back in with you, simply to make your life easier with settling - it always seems much worse having to get out of bed and feed rather than being able to do it without moving but then of course it depends on if you have the energy to try and tackle it with him in his own room or if you just need to get through a few more weeks without having a breakdown!!
I really really sympathise, it's horrendous but it doesn't last forever and you will get through it.

Didn't take long - a few days? Although he did sometimes wake in between but could be settled in a couple of minutes with a cuddle (and both of us could do it) rather than me having to spend ages feeding.