BFing = social outcast???

[MrsTittleMouse]

Hello all,
Complete newbie here: 32+1 with first pregnancy. I'd love to give BFing my best shot when the LO is born, so I've been reading some of the threads here with a lot of interest. I was wondering how people here coped when they were first BFing and hadn't completely got the hang of it. I can't imagine that it's easy to be discrete about it when both of you are still complete novices. What happens when the ILs come to visit, for example? Do I spend the whole time hidden with DD in the bedroom with my boobs out? They live away, and so can't come round "when it's convenient" for me and the LO. Also, I have 2 very elderly and unreliable grandparents. One has Altziemers (early stages), one is very nosey, and both are obsessed with sex! GM (nosey) has asked my Mum about my sex life in the past!!!!! Mum told here that it was none of either of their business.
GF (Altzeimers) tells v raunchy stories about his past to everyone (including to people like me and elderly women in the church) and there have been times when I've felt very uncomfortable in his presence.
I've spoken to my Mum about BFing around them, and she agreed that neither of them would behave appropriately, and that it was quite likely that they would take a v unheathy interest.
So what happens at social events like Christmas? Will I spend the whole time in another room on my own while everyone else has a jolly time?
Please help!
Mrs T-M

Hello MrsTittleMouse, My dd was 2 in june & still
happily b.feeding (though not that much during day now)

She was an awfully indiscrete b.feeder, wouild thrash about b4 she finally latched on, the little minx!

I'd be ready for adverse comments by other people & would say, 'My word Elizabeth we are being fussy today' then would carry on very calmly trying to get her to latch on.

I carried a pillow around for the first 8 wks, even on dinner dates & once I finally relaxed so did she

Hi MrsTM

My top tip for discreet breastfeeding isn't so much about covering your boobs, but your tummy and round your sides, which get v chilly, especially in winter when feeding.

I have a black and a white one of these which are fantastic.

Good luck and get the hang of it by practising in front of a mirror.

Oh you'll be fine.

You will also learn that we are all far less interesting than we think we are.
Noone gives me a second glance these days as 39 year old (albeit relatively well preserved)mother of two smallchildren.

Neither did they through 21/2 years of b/feeding.

Strangely liberating actually....

my mom and dad were exitedly watching dd's first ever feed so definitley didn't have the chance to even think about being shy! although that said my dad and i are dutch and i was raised with slightly more open minded opinions about both nudity and bf-ing so he wouldn't have bothered me anyway.

i didn't apply the same rules to every situation though, if i felt comfortable i fed, if not i went to another room.

my extended family and friends never bothered me and i fed openly in front of most of them but dp's dad was EXTREMELY uncomfortable with me feeding... no matter how many times dp, dp's sister and mother and i tried to tell him to relax if he walked into the room and i was feeding he'd be completely mortified and run back out, so i didn't feed around him as i felt it wasn't fair... he's an old man and shouldn't be forced to be uncomfortable.

i never fed i public as tbh i never found myself in the situation where i had no choice and i prefered not to as dd was an extremely messy feeder and my boobs leak and spurt a fair bit

HTH

hunkermunker I So wish that I had had one of these tops!

Saw them on MN after my dd had been such an obvious b.feeder.
Saying that she's 2 now,still feeding & i'll quite happily get my norks out & feed her wherever we are. No one would look down their nose at a 2 yr old having a bottle, so why an
earth should we give a shit about giving our kids their milk from the most natural place possible?

I tend to use a strappy vest under my top then I can pull outer top up and vest diwn under boob.
I do not like the style of most BF tops and this was a far cheaper way too, got some vests out of tesco (value ones) and just put them under normal clothes.

Vest under shirt is usually what I do and also find normal tops with a wrapover style bust work pretty well in public esp if coupled with the light scarf (and it actually looks quite suave!)to drape if feeling a little self-conscious. When PG I thought I would never be able to bf in public and have always been rather a prude about showing my flesh, but after 6 months of bf out and about I find that I am so oblivious I can bf pretty much anywhere in front of anyone, although I try and remember not to do it in front of DH's single male friends as they tend to get very red and embarrassed So don't worry! If I can do it anyone can!

H&M had some bfing vests which unclip like a feeding bra. One of those under a loose top will preserve a lot of modesty, rather like Hunkermunker's thingy.