Not enjoying breastfeeding

[Sweetie72]

My DS is almost 6 weeks old and I've completely fallen out of love with BF. It's uncomfortable, especially on one side and he has periods where he feeds aggressively, arms and legs flailing, gripping on to me and pulling at the nipple as if he isn't getting enough which is making me sore and is also quite upsetting. He comes off the nipple frequently and then cries. This can go on for a couple of hours and happens at least twice a day.

I've tried expressing but it seems to take forever and I think I've come to the point where I want to switch to formula but feel so guilty. Any advice?

I loved breastfeeding I think it's the best thing in the world BUT you've tried it, it's not working for you stop beating yourself up about it and formula feed and enjoy your baby.

DS had trouble feeding in one side and it turned out he had a stiff neck and was struggling with positioning. We saw a cranial osteopath which sorted it. How foes the latch look?

I feel your pain - my 6 week old was doing the same - flailing around, coming off frequently and crying. Turned out that she had oral thrush. Do you have access to a breastfeeding support worker? Mine was very knowledgeable - it never occurred to me that there was a medical reason for it, I thought she was just a fussy baby!

Sweety, can you try to see a breast feeding consultant? They are usually based at hospitals or children's centres. Your Health Visitor will be able to tell you how to contact a breast feeding consultant. It sounds like something they will be able to help you with. Don't give up until you have had some expert help as you may regret it terribly later.

Sorry; Sweetie!

If you hate breastfeeding, then stop doing it. I managed 10 days with DD1 before I gave up. I was in so much pain with bleeding nipples etc and DD was constantly hungry because I couldn't bear to feed her for long. She and I were forever in tears. Everytime I needed to feed her, I cried. DH eventually took things into his own hands, and went out to buy bottles, sterilisers etc and I was so grateful someone else had made this decision for me. We never looked back. I went from hating DD to loving her straight after the first feed.

I fully intended to try again with DD2, but when it came to the crunch, just couldn't face it because of the problems I'd had first time round (only 18 mths earlier). She went straight on the bottle.

Both are now strapping teenagers, rarely (if ever) ill and running us ragged!

Breast feeding, though natural, isn't for everyone. There is a lot of pressure on new mums to persevere, but no-one will judge you if you give up, least of all your DCs.

I know how you feel! I had a terrible time starting bf DS- No one really prepares you for how bad it can be do they?? If you want to keep going try LLL or other helplines. If you don't then make the switch and don't look back. DS is now mix fed and I felt awful guilt the first time he was topped up with formula- I cried for hours- I thought I'd regret it forever. Now most of my regrets are about my baby's first few weeks being completely overtaken by bf. At the time my sister gave me some great advice; Look and a childrens playground. Point out the bf kids. You can't. There's sooooo much more to being a mum than how you feed your baby-If you need support that's one thing but if it's making you miserable stop.

Thanks all for your advice. I spoke to the health visitor today and am going to switch to formula over the next week or so. I don't want to get to the point where I dread feeding my lovely baby so I'm going to do the best thing for me and him.

I had a terrible terrible time to and desperately tried to get DD on the bottle at 2/3 months, and she completely refused! We tried every trick on the earth, so I would recommend you try the bottle quick.

Do not feel guilty because there is nothing to feel guilty about. You've tried your best and you have to do what makes you happy, as ultimately that is the most important thing for both of you. You've done great to stick it with this far.

Yes, if you don't enjoy it just stop. It's not worth the stress - for any of your family. Well done for getting to 6 weeks though x

I'll go against the grain here and say - you have done well to get to this point, why not persevere ? Another month and it will be much easier.

It's surely worth seeing a bf counsellor just in case there's a simple tweak you can do to possible rectify the problem, if there is one.

Ff isn't a miracle cure! Good luck whatever you deccide

Josephine - that's just the kind of unnecessary pressure I was talking about, and just what the OP doesn't need. She'll feel bad enough as it is, without comments like that making her feel worse. I know you don't mean it, but I've been there, and that's how it comes across when you're feeling guilty enough as it is anyway.

Some mums love breastfeeding, others can't stand it. Some mums grow to love it with help and support, some never do, regardless of whether feeding is pain free or not.

If it's making you miserable, please go to a drop in - they will help you make a plan to gradually switch to formula. Stopping suddenly can lead to mastitis, which you really want to avoid, and suddenly stopping can lead to some scary mood swings in some mums also.

Whatever you decide to do is the right choice for you and your family. You will have to make millions of choices about diet, schooling, hobbies, discipline - all of those choices will shape the person your child grows into. The way you choose to feed a baby plays a tiny role in that.

You probably are at the hardest point and it will get easier from here but if you want to stop, do so guilt free! You have done really well to get to 6 weeks and formula is fine.

Youdontneed, I second what you have said.

Formula may not be a miracle fix but it doesn't hurt and it won't make you miserable.

Everyone told me I couldn't do both. I did. It worked. My body adapted to when I fed with bottle / breast. Maybe give that a try? Formula at night will give you a longer nights sleep which will make your head clearer to make your next decision. You've done brilliantly so far. I always found that the advice I received was at opposite ends of the spectrum! Stop/persevere/carry on. When you are a new mum it can be overwhelming.

Take whatever path to enjoy your baby and your new family.
Congratulations!

Do whatever is best for you. Just to add that I had the same thing with my dd, she flailed, kicked and punched and I almost switched to formula. However, when I drgoogled it,the suggestion was that it might be wind. I then winded her during feeds whenever she started to do it and now we are 5 months down the line and feeding fine. So there may be an easy solution, but you must do what you feel is best.

When it's not going well you dread the next feed so contemplating continuing for another month doesn't help at all. I really struggled breast feeding. Managed to keep going off of one side for 4 months but god it was hard. There is so much pressure to breast feed, usually by the lucky ones who find it very easy, that it makes a logical decision far harder to make. Enjoy your baby OP. And hopefully in 3 months time I will be doing the same with DC2 and not turning myself into a martyr