why is colic so bloody crap??!

[bodenbetty]

DD has been asleep on & off since 8am this morning. Am sure this is because she was awake from 4pm until 9pm lastnight screaming. & then unsettled agin for about 2 hours in teh middle of teh night. I'm aweekday sinlge parent (as Dh leaves at 7 & is never home before 7.30 if at all) with a 3yr old DS & the screaming has been doing my head in. teh only position she likes is being hung over my shoulder - not teh most practical way to get anything done & now I ahve wasted half a preciuos saturday being scared to go too far from her side in case she wakes up & wants feeding.
I have given up dairy more or less in case that was causiong teh colic (not easy for a vegetarian to do) have been giving her colief to try & ease teh worst of teh night time dramas. ahve started cranail oestopathy last week - I can't think of anything else to do & this si driving me round teh bend.
Sorry I know no-one can do anyhting to help just had to vent how bloody knackered frustarted & cross I'm feeling today.

oh boden betty you poor thing.
i know what it s like doing it by yourself while dh is at work. mine was away over nights too.

re the colic - it is colic??! youre breastfeeding her how much? how old is she?
sorry i have seen you on other threads but just cant rem details

yep breastfeeding - np point expressing as dh never here to do it & nights so unpredictable. sorry to be such a miseryguts but thatts how i feel today. she's just had another very short feed 0- just doesn't want to be awake- saving it for tonight! shes6.5 weeks

You have my great sympathy BB. Dd suffered from colic every evening and night until she was 4.5 months (sorry!)

Have you tried putting her in a sling so she can be upright, but at least your hands are free?

The other good holding position for colic is called something like "the tiger in the tree". It's really hard to describe, but goes something like this.

Hold you arm at right angles across your body with your palm upwards.
The baby's body rests on your forearm, with an arm and a leg on each side of your forearm.
THe baby's head rests on your arm, tucked into your bent elbow.

With your other hand, use the heel of your hand to rub from bottom to top of the babys back.

This used to really help our dd.

I know many mumsnetters will definitely disagree but for what it's worth, if my next one has colic, I am definitely going to put him on a routine earlier.

How would a routine help colic?

I really don't want to start an argument (I can feel it coming.) I honestly think that some colic is caused by the current trend of feeding on demand, when demand is not hunger. I am not proposing starving babies, I am not proposing not listening to your babies, I am simply suggesting that a more structure feeding routine can help some babies with what colic. Colic is simply a description of extended periods of crying. I think a routine can help with that.

In that case, I disagree entirely but I don't want an argument either.

Phew! No worries.

Hi - FWIW we tried cranial osteopathy for DD's colic which did seem to work. It isn't cheap (cost about £150 for four sessions) - we got a bit back on health insurance but only have a cheap plan. The osteopath said he thought it was related to her difficult gestation (IUGR), too frequent scanning and then ventouse delivery. Perhaps it was all mumbo jumbo but she slept more peacefully after 3 osteopath treatments.

Please don't give into the routine thing as far as b/f is concerned. People mean well but it can jeopardise your milk supply if you start feeding on a 3 or 4 hourly basis. I nearly lost out on b/f altogether because of some very well-intentioned but misinformed advice in that regard. That said, there's nothing to stop you having a bedtime routine. We did story, bath, feed bed. Took about a month before she got the hang of it and was done in conjunction with treatment. She has been going to sleep at bedtime like a lamb for months.

Get some earplugs so you take the edge of the noise. It is sheer hell. It's only 9 months ago and I thought we would all die from frazzled nerves and lack of sleep. I used to cuddle DD in a dark room wearing the earplugs and telling her I loved her. When the colic passed the little personality developed is sweet-natured, confident and loving (she's now 13 months). Perhaps the patience did some good in the end.

OMG I sound so saintly saying all that. DH and I also swore at each other a lot, looked like crap and could barely string a sentence together. It comes to an end - I promise.

Good luck

PS Infacol was about as much use as a chocolate teapot but others swear by it

thanks - glad we managed to avoid an argument about certain things. i am perservering with teh bathtime routine as I think that is a good thing - but feel a bit guily that as soon as she woke up from her nap at 5.15pm I was saying to DH 'quick - entertain her so she stays awake for her bath!' have just fed her and put her down awake & am hoing that she will drop off on her own - whic i know she can do.
re feeding on demand - I do that but also am trying to strectch out her feeds (on HV advice) to about 2.5 - 3 hours. this works in teh morning but as the day goes on she usualyy wantes it more & more frequently till in teh eveing she's at it almost conctantly - I haven't teh hear tto deny her tehn & can't see how a dummy would help if she does wnat feeding.
soory to go on. Nice to hear the Cranial whatsit helped - I'm hoping it will her. Infacol didn't wor for us either so am now on colief - also has chcoclte teapot tendancies i think.

Ultimately you take a pinch of salt with everyone's advice and do the best you can! It will pass and the hideous evenings will be a distant memory. Good luck!

bb
i think 2 1/2hrs between feeds is ok for nearly 7 wks. would a feed last 30mins or is she a quick feeder ? do u hear her feeding/ my dd and ds were totally different, he gulped it in and finished in 10mins both breast.
dd was slower at 30/40 mins so less than 2hrs before she got some more.

thattiger hold sounds good.
my negihbours 1st born had colic til 12wks and she was breastfeed til 20mths or so. they in hindsight, on to baby no 3 now, feel that maybe they just kept feeding her alll the time, ie the mother, bcause she cried continually.

so hope she settles better tonight
its no harm trying diff things, as we all know oyu have her best interests at heart and aint going to let her be hungry or distressed. but u have to work it out by trial and error???

hope that doesnt cause consternation.

springerspaniel, we agree on something - it does end and all becomes a memory, although it feels like forever at the time. Also, I found people whose babies didn't have it found it hard to understand just how awful and draining it is.

I was told all sorts by my HV and tried my best to do it, to no avail. With ds, I did more of a gut feel thing and, although he had colic, I didn't feel so much of a failure, IYSWIM.

Good luck x

Totally agree Clayhead. Noone else in my antenatal group had colic and they referred to a couple of minutes crying as being 'a bit colicky.' DP and I argued loads and rarely had a meal together. He thought that baby couldn't tell that we were there when he was screaming so wanted to leave him to cry. To be fair, DP did most of the 'holding' as I found it so upsetting. I couldn't bare to leave him to cry for any time at all. Yuck, horrible memories. Really, really hope next baby doesn't have it. Oh god - just thinking back to all the 'helpful' advice. I was so desperate for something to work. Bl**dy Infacol. Grrr.

Oh yes, just remembered about Woodwards Gripe Water. It was the only thing that really ever worked for us.

You give it after a feed if the baby seems uncomfortable (stomach hard, knees pulled up etc.) It contains Dill oil (the herb) and smells quite strong.

We gave it regularly to dd - you could hear horrendous gurgling sounds coming from her tummy once it had gone down, and then quite often a burp or fart (sorry!) and then she would settle down. Magic stuff!

Also, we occasionally gave her a dummy to suck if we were absolutely sure she wasn't hungry. My nipples were terribly cracked and infected and I just couldn't have her sucking on me for hours at a time. Sucking the dummy did seem to help relax her.

Gripe water did make my LO burp but didn't help with colic. I couldn't get it down him so popped it in a bottle with a little boiled water. Have since discovered syringes when faced with the most hideous antibiotics. You can get them free from chemist. Can feel a bit James Herriot trying to force feed them medicine.

Yes, the syringes really help. BB - just put them into the side of the baby's cheek rather than down the tongue if you see what I mean.

Forgot to mention baby massage - you don't need to spend lots of ££ - get a book from the library or look on the net. the babe needs to be calm when you start so maybe mornings are a good time. It can't do any harm, is free (use an organic oil like grapeseed - definitely nothing perfumed) I used to put on some nice gentle lullaby type stuff but whatever chills you out. If nothing else it might give you 10 minutes of relaxation with your babe.

As far as the lots of feeding in the evening goes I think they call it cluster feeding and it can be a precursor to sleeping through. As if the LO is "filling up" before a long stretch of sleep... it happened for us - who knows? it might be the case for your LO too? A hope to hang on to anyway

x

Hi bodenbetty, how are you? well to give you a relief from all that colic stuff, there is this medicine "Infacol" - Check if you get it where you are. Its a dream of every mother's whose children are colic. Its an amazing medicine, trust me! give it whenever your baby is crying because of colic and it does its work in minutes. Trust me, when my baby's doc gave me that medicine you cant imagine how much a relief it was to me. As my DS had colic as well, used to scream his head off!

Don't have things like peas, lentils as if you r BF, it causes colic as well!

hope it helps to you the way it did to me!

have you tried giving lo chamomile tea or cycling her legs back and forth whilst on her back?

BB, DS was very colicky. He used to scream for hours every evening, and it was horrible. We used Infacol, which did help, but I know others have found it useless. The good thing is, uis that for most babies, colic seems to clear up around 12 weeks, so it won;t last forever.

We used to find that the "tiger in the tree" hold worked for us. DS would fall asleep like that. We also used to put him on a playmat on his tummy during the day a lot, and that helped too. Moving his legs around as if he were cycling was also great for him as was gently massaging his tummy in a circle. I also used to find winding him regularly during feeds would help (say every 10 mins) Can make feeding a little longer, but I used to find it helped. I also used to prop his moses basket up at night too, and this helped him sleep better.

I really feel for you, as having a colicky baby is so hard, as it can seem like nothing you do helps. Just keep hold of the fact that it won;t last, and before you know it, your DD will be sleeping through, and it will all be a distant memory. Make sure as well that you get some time away at the weekends when your husband is home, even if it's just half an hour for a nap or a nice bath. I remember when DS was that age feeling like I never evne had a minute to sit down and scratch my arse, because I was constantly feeding/winding/comforting. Having a little bit of Me Time (I hate that phrase, but can't think of anything bettre!!) would really help me to cope.

Have you tried taking all caffine out of your diet? With ds it made a great deal of difference.

Also are you drinking fennel tea? That helps with digestion and if you are bf then it still helps if you drink it.

I remember the nightmare of ds's colic - 12 hours of it some nights . But it does stop - just keep it in mind that it won't be forever.

Poor you. My 11 week old has just come through the other side... Still has dodgy evenings and I'm doing it all on my own too (rubbish shift job husband hell) with a 2 year old too - but now baby's more settled and I'm considering the bliss of moving him into his own room... I'm still alive and you will be too! I tried everything going but I guess hit and miss whatever works - you'll get there I promise.