I'm really cocking up breast feeding here

[Loopylouu]

5 day old dd.

I she latches on ok but can be on the breast for two hours. She's hardly getting a thing, she's getting very frustrated with me. Am topping up 1 or two night feeds with a bottle as she gets angry and frustrated and I need sleep, I can't feed her 24 hours a day. She has a bit if jaundice too still, paediatrician and midwives said to top up on one feed.


I can occasionally see bits of colostrum on my nipple, but I can't hand express anything. Had a go with an electric pump today but it was crap, hardly any suction (tommee tipee closer to nature electric pump) and only a few drops on the suction cup.


She gets so frustrated that she wares herself out crying and sometimes falls asleep instead of feeding.


What am I doing wrong?


I feel shit as well as I can take or leave breast feeding, it's not something I feel strongly about. I have a much older child who I couldn't breast feed as he had a few problems at birth, he's grow up very healthy on formula. I'm only doing this as dh feels strongly that breast is best. I keep thinking that if I formula fed I'd enjoy my life with my baby more rather than constantly feeding and worrying.

[BreakingDad77]

I have seen bad reviews for the tommy tippee elctric pumps, we had one of the medala swing ones which was good, mothercare pricematched amazon. DW breasts took some time to firm up slowly over the week we had with lil man in SCBU (two weeks early 5lb / jaundice)


Piggybacking others a friend found the local breastfeeding clinic helpful - are there any services locally that could help?

[AnythingNotEverything]

OP, I think it helps to think in terms of "every feed counts". Don't worry about reaching a particular milestone.

Jaundice is tough. We were kept in hospital because of it but if you keep feeding it should clear. Also, get her in the sunshine.

It's a shame you feel like you're sat doing nothing. What do you feel like you should be doing? At 5 days post partum the sofa or your bed sounds like the best place to me!

[Loopylouu]

I just mean I am doing nothing for her. I can't eve produce milk for her.

Dh came home and I was in years. He got a bottle straight out and fed her, he could tel she looked more yellow than when he went out. I fed her for half an hour. I still don't think there is anything.

Called the midwife who was very pissed off and said topping up with a bottle wasn't solving anything.

Dh spoke to her and said that it was a decsison we made as he couldn't stand to see dd looking ill. He was really worried about her, she's been in his arms since he got home.


I will keep trying to breast feed her. I'm just sad that I can't do anything right. I love her so much, I don't want her getting sick because my stupid body is letting me down.

[Loopylouu]

Dh says he doesn't care how she's fed as long as she's healthy.

[Loopylouu]

Sorry I am making no sense. I meant I had fed her for half an hour before he got home and gave her a bottle. But I don't think she was getting anything. My nipples are always bone dry, my breasts are soft. I don't know what's going on.

And now I can't stop crying.

[Featherbag]

It sounds like your milk hasn't come in yet lovely. It'll be different when it does but some days/nights you'll still do nothing but feed! Don't make any decisions just yet, but when you're less upset think about what you really want and stick with it. As long as baby gets fed, who really cares how it happens?

[Loopylouu]

I just wish my body worked properly. There's always bloody something.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Enough with the crying!!! Your body can so something right, it grew you and birthed you a beautiful baby!!!

Please please please stop testing yourself apart over stuff that can't be helped. You love her, dh loves her she has a brother, a home and all the cuddles she needs. How she's fed is not the deciding factor of her life.

You have tried and tried and it isn't working yet. There are plenty of things you can so for her besides this.

In a few weeks she will be crawling around eating let food. What milk se had will he the last thing on your kind.

and (((hugs))))

[Gileswithachainsaw]

And a non alcoholic

Be kind to yourself op xx

[Indith]

There are many ways to nurture your baby. Breast feeding is only one of them. Feed your baby with love be it by breast or by bottle.

You sound like you have been having such a tough time with it all and struggling to get the support you need. I'm glad that your dh is supporting you now. It seems to me that all he wanted to do was support you in feeding, he just barked up the wrong tree slightly and didn't quite realise the difference between support and nagging/pissing you off :).

FWIW it sounds as though your milk has not yet come in. That isn't completely out of the ordinary at this stage though the "norm" would be around day 3. Continuing to feed on demand is the best way to stimulate milk supply and I'm afraid those night feeds, particularly early hours after midnight, are important in that process. But that is just information, what you do with it is up to you. In addition to that making sure that your dd is feeding effectively is important. I don't know if anyone has really observed a full feed? To see if she is swallowing and actually getting milk effectively from the breast. Long, fussy feeds, frustration and not settling wouldn't indicate that she isn't feeding particularly effectively. However her nappies sound promising as if milk wasn't going in then her poo wouldn't be yellow :).

But as I said before, breastfeeding is just one way of nurturing your baby. If you have had enough then there is no shame in throwing in the towel. Have no regrets. You are amazing for battling on for so long. Do what you want to do.

[Loopylouu]

Thanks you've all been so nice.

She just latched on and sucked for 5 mins after half an hour of trying, latching and then pulling off.

She was rooting and crying. I will keep trying her and I'm in for the long haul tonight I guess.


Should I topip after feeds tonight seeing as she's still a bit jaundiced?

[BertieBotts]

I probably would keep topping up tonight. It's a good idea to get fluids into her. If your milk is going to come in then it will come in tomorrow regardless and you can put her to the breast then.

[MrsCakesPremonition]

Wet nappies and korma poo indicate that your milk is fine and she is getting a reasonable amount.
I never managed to express milk. Nor did my breasts leak or become engorged, swollen or solid feeling. I still have some Bounty freebie breast pads somewhere despite having breastfed both mibw for several months, I just never used any.
That doesn't mean that my nipples didn't get sore, they did. And I worried all the time about whether I was getting enough milk in to them.

Please try talking to a breastfeeding counsellor or visiting a local support group. But if BFing is making you very unhappy then you are sensible to consider all your options.
Good luck

[Loopylouu]

"...is it this that's making you angry? That he has strong feelings and he expects you to share them?"

Yes that was it. I'm angry at myself for not being able to feed her and I'm angry at him (well was) as I thought he was going to be angry and dissapointed in me because of his strong views on breastfeeding.

[Ericadm]

Loopy, if you are absolutely sure you want ti bottlefeed than do it. It is your choice and your body and happy mummy means happy baby. But if you want to stop just because you find it hard at the stage, then you must know that it does get better. I have also bottlefed my first and I am now breastfeeding my second. I was totally shocked of how hard it was in the first weeks, I had no idea how time consuming it is and how many hours the baby will feed for, how little time I'd have left to spend with my first child! But now at week 9 things are settling really well, I am enjoying it, i am not spending the whole day sitting on the sofa with my boobs out anymore, and i am even getting stretches of 5 hours sleep at night. For me it was worth the initial investment of time and energy but it is really up to you and you need to decide what's best for you and your family. Good luck!

[Loopylouu]

I now have milk.

She is feeding lots, but properly now, really gulping it down. Midwife came this morning, confirmed good latch, even helped me hand express so e milk so I could see it was white.

Thank you everyone for yesterday. I have no idea what happened to me yesterday, I felt like the world was ending. I feel a little embarrassed now actually.

[OrangeMochaFrappucino]

Don't be embarrassed by anything you do or say on day 5! Am really glad it's going well - it's so hard at first but gets so easy!

Also don't panic about public feeding, it's really easy to get the hang of that when it comes to it.

Congratulations on your baby .

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Oh don't be embarrassed!!!!!!



That's what we are all here for :)

[MrsCakesPremonition]

Thank you for coming back with your update. I am having a rubbish day and I am now grinning for both you and you baby.
Hurrah!!

[BertieBotts]

Ahh brilliant news :) Glad to see you feeling happier!

And YY there's a HUGE hormone rush before the milk comes in, that for no explainable reason ever turns us all into snotty messes who think the world is ending

[BertieBotts]

Although I did feel very jealous of a friend who instead of being a hormonal suicidal mess on day 3 was an emotionally overwhelmed with happiness mess on day 3. Brought a tear to the eye :)

[Indith]

[MissRatty]

Things were exactly the same for me...it will get better. Our longest feed was five hours, at which point I was in tears, rang the GP the next day as I thought my depression and anxiety was back - I was so disorientated and exhausted. I waited until he was a few weeks old before I went to a breastfeeding clinic, and by god I wish I'd gone in the first week. I was told his latch was fine, but it wasn't and getting feeds supervised in an enviroment with other mums having a range of breastfeeding problems was what kept me going.

Things got better and he became more efficient, but sadly still has weight gain issues. We mix feed now, but I will say that during the first weeks I wad looking for excuses to give up, but now it is so easy and so lively that I would hate to give up.

You definitely need support. Do you have a partner or family who could help out a bit? A decent set of DVDs, ring your HV in the morning and chat to her too. You may be able to borrow or rent a hospital grade pump from the NHS. I pumped in the beginning to offer bottle top ups, but actually my OH just fed LO his 11pm feed, which meant I got to sleep from 9pm through until 2am...it was bliss and kept me going.

So sorry to hear things are not feeling good. Think that tonight is the last night where you see no end in sight, as tomorrow you can reach out and hopefully get some support.

If you are finding things too much, your health comes first and formula could be an option. It can interfere with supply at this early stage, but a happy mum is more important than anything.

[MissRatty]

Oh dear...something is up with me...I only saw page 1!

So glad you are feeling better! :-)

[Loopylouu]

It's still all great advice, thankyou.

While it's going ok at the moment, I will add in a bottle at some point. We did last nihjt actually. She far and fed from me and was still screaming. She drank a bottle and then slept.