early baby, broken hearted mummy, problems feeding

[eenywifemum]

hi there...

Some of you may know Sal and I had our baby Alex 4 weeks early 4 days ago.

I will eventually when i have time and energy post about my birth and the immediate aftermath because i think i will need some help coping with it all. But that is for later really.

because Alex is early and jaundiced he is too tired and lazy to feed properly. he is 'hybernating' something early babies do to conserve energy when they are not being fed properly. my milk is startign to come in properly now. i am so tired i dont kno whow to describe this. my milk wasnt coming in fast enough and he was too lazy and tired to suck very well so I am expressing each breast 15 mins 6 times a day to try to build my milk up and we are feeding him that EBM and formula milk to get him more calories. Although I am getting him to feed very small amounts from my breasts directly most of this milk is coming through syringe or bottle.

i am desperate to BF him and broken hearted over how hard the delivery and first days have been, worried sick that he is unwell and I am so sad.

He wont really latch on to my right breast - the MW is having us use nipple sheilds which is helping as I have small flat nipples.

I am feeding by breast bottle and syringe just trying to get him strong enough so we can feed just by breast. i feel so awful.

Please just cheer me up, give me some hope that I can BF him properly and this is all temporary. There is more I could say that would clarify what is happening but I am so muddle headed and tired I really dont know what. thanks for listening. prepare for me to come on and cry for a while I think I will need to do that. its ok I know we are so luck y to have him and to be home from hospital and I just love him so much I am yearning to feed him adn to feel confident he is well.

Eeny, you might remember me from the August thread - I didn't have as much to put up with as you (my ds was born basically full term at 38.5 wks exactly a week ago.) Like Alex he wouldn't feed, was very sleepy and when awake would thrash around and not latch on, or seem to know how to suck when he did. I posted my problems on another thread someone started about midwives being very hands-on and pushing babies onto the breast, and received some incredibly helpful replies you might want to read.

I also just wanted to say not to lose hope at all about breastfeeding in your situation. My ds was on a similar feeding regime to Alex in hospital, combining attempts at the breast (usually failed), tiny amounts of expressed colostrum, plus rather large formula top-ups from a bottle every four hours day and night. I am now 100% breastfeeding after a lovely paediatrician disagreed with a couple of others and gave me some confidence once my milk came in. Basically he said now that I was able to express a reasonable amount I should keep with the bf attempts and feed EBM, no formula. I was so happy to hear that as I was expecting to have to go on some nightmare regime of gradually reducing formula etc. I can't say that bf is now easy but every day gets easier as he is learning, with the odd apparent setback when he appears to have forgotten how to feed, and I get upset, then later he remembers .

All I need now is some sleep - I appear to have a different baby at night. He is sleepy and needs waking up through the day to feed but at night it's a different story. Total of half an hour sleep last night - I just wanted to say you are not alone, anyway. Best of luck and please don't lose heart. Your breastfeeding is only just beginning.

i had a alot of blood loss and had a transfusion and felt much much better, so much less tired.

Just wanted to say well done Eeny for doing such a good job even through the difficulties. Keep following the advice and I will keep my fingers crossed for you and little Alex.
Incidentally I had a nipple shield issue - dd would not feed without one for weeks but gradually (she now 18 weeks) I am managing to sneakily whip them out mid feed and she latches back on!

Oh it's so hard those early days, and looking back, so precious too. (I'm remembering mine sleeping on my chest ) It sounds like you and Sal are doing exactly the right thing and I'm sure it will get easier. Sal sounds like a star and I bet Alex is a sweetie. And when you're ready do post if you still feel disappointed in your birth - it helps to talk and lots of MNers have been through that. So no advice from me, really, just positive thoughts. Take care.

Don't give up hope! My ds2 was born at 35w 5 days (ie 4 weeks and 2 days early). He had no sucking or rooting reflex and didn't feed for the first few days at all. He had terrible jaundice so had phototherapy (twice) and had a canula in his foot so that he could have twice daily IV antibiotics. I was in hospital with him for a week. I perservered at the bfeeding because I had sucessfully breastfed ds1 for 6 months so I knew I could do it. If ds2 had been my first I would have given up because it was such a struggle. It took a while but he got the hang of it eventually - I only stopped breastfeeding him a couple of months ago when he was 7 months old.

My fingers are crossed for you. Get your midwife/HV to help you. Ask for all the help you can get. Good luck.

hi everyone! thanks so much for all your support. I really cant say how helpful I have found it. Sal and I spent all day yesterday and all night and all day today feeding Alex and expressing pretty much constantly. He looks so much better than he did the day before and the day before that.

mears I am going to have Sal look at those links you posted as soon as he can, I really like the look of that feeder.

Alex's poos have improved and he is generally just stronger seeming than he was. I am feeling a lot better, emotionally. Last night I just couldnt stop crying but today I feel a lot more positive. I think a lot of you were right pointing out the hormone problem I am in at the moment making it even worse!

I am going to try to write up the birth story tonight and post it - if I can stay awake. Its not nearly as bad as some I have heard, I know how lucky I am in many ways but it has left me a little shell shocked.

I will keep you all posted on Alex's progress!! Thanks so much for caring.

Hi eeny! Glad you and babe feel a bit better. Well done! xxxx

hi eeny - sorry you and alex have been having these problems and sorry its taken me so long to check your thread. i'm glad to hear you are feeling a bit better. as you know, i am a novice to all this but hopefully all this good advice is helping you. you are both doing a fab job - stay positive, hope to hear from you soon
Olivo x

eenywifemum.......My DS was 5weeks early and had the same problems your little one is having and I went on to BF him till he was 10 months!!!!
I started off expressing and they fed him through his tube with it and then gradually he got stronger and better and he would take it from a syringe and then he learnt to latch on for a for short spells before falling asleep. With perseverence (and a hell of a lot of tears!!) we got there and he became a really easy feeder. SO yes I am sure this is only tempory. Althought it does feel like its never going to end - it does! I promise you.... my little man is now 18months and eats everything!!
Hope you are feeling better soon.....(((big hugs to you)))

thanks yackertyyack - He is feeding much better now so now I am just being plunged into dealing with him having colic! All things I know many Mums before me have had to deal with and that keeps me going in the very sleepless nights. I am giving him Infacol atm which so far seems to be helping. I love hearing others success stories! Something to remind myself of when I am feeling really rough.

congratulations my babies have always prefered my left breast to my right he will be fine once your both a little stronger my dd is 12 weeks and would still rather be feed on the left i think its normal

eenywifemum - feeding from one breast only can help with colic. By that I mean feed one breast, wind him then put him back on the same side. You might be doing that already though. He sounds as though he is doing much better. How are you?

Colicynth granules are excellent BTW. You pop them onto the tongue every 5 mins till colic passes.

thanks mears - I wasnt doing that but I started today and hope it helps. oh lord there he goes again. he's just woken up. I will try to post later . I am struggling with him and constant migraines! Ugh.

I can empathise with th migraine problem as I suffered with them myself postnatally. After a feww eeks they spaced out much more - I do thinkthey were hormone related. My GP (homeopathic trained) at the time advised me to get Briona 30C which really helped. They prevented the aftermath if you took it at the start of one. You get it in chemists that stock homeopathic remedies. I hope they ease up sson.

Thanks mears I will try that! I have had migraines off and on since I was 7 - my neurologist and GP are currently in a disagreement about whether or not I can be on my usual meds while I breastfeed. I am better today as my DH stayed up with Alex all night as I badly needed some rest.

Alex is definitely doing better although he is still really colicky in the evenings and nights. I am so much happier today though having had a good nights sleep and that really makes the world of difference when you are dealing with a crying baby!

btw I have been feeding him on one breast like you said and it seems to have been helping!

only just seen this thread... glad things are improvig for you, sounds like alex is a lucky boy having such a lovely mum. xxx

I started my migraines about 9yrs. Mum and sisters have them. I got them regularly and more ofeten if I ate chocolate and cheese etc.
When I was in my late teens they became less frequent but were crackers when they did come. Because they were so sporadic then I didn't take preventative medicine. When I was pregnant they came back more frequently and in the early postnatal days theywere almost daily. With DS2 they were much more frequent so I tried Sanomigran but I found it made me feel dopey. Then GP suggested Brionia 30C. As soon as the visual distrurbance started I took then as directed. What I found was that I didn't get the horrendous headache that lasted for days when the flashing lights stopped.
I have a friend whose son has horrendous migraines and medicine was not working. He went to homeopath and got great relief from what she prescribed.

There is information about migraine medication here

Hope you can get on top og them. I found that as the weeks went by they spaced out again. I very rarely get them now at 45 yrs.

thanks for that link mears I have found loads of helpful info on there for me AND two friends who are in a similar situation.

I got my GP to write my prescription today so hopefully soon the migraines will improve but in the meantime the brionia sounds like a good thing to try.

Alex is doing a little better with his colic- the sooner that improves the better off we will all be! Thanks again for your advice.

Oh Eeny I was so sorry to realise this was you as I really felt for you when I read your birth story. No time to read everyone else's responses (own newborn about to wake) so sorry if repeating, but this could be my story and I have been full of snot and tears too. You need to get your local breastfeeding counsellor around to your house if at all possible. Mine is called Persistent Pam (well, she things she is called Pam) and after half an hour of her doing her stuff my daughter fed for the first time. We too were syringe feeding formula before that. Actually Pam was a bit shocked we had been doing it so long and was of the opinion that a bottle would have helped dd get the hang of latching and sucking.

OOH, just realised your OP was 12 Aug so maybe things are looking up? I'd better read some of the more recent posts. Fingers crossed for you x

hi Lio! Thanks very much for thinking of me. Feeding is going much better now - well we have a new set of problems but they are better problems to have than a starving baby! He is colicky and wants to suck constantly. The other night he fed constantly from 3am to 5am until I finally had enough and took him off the breast. Very nice health visitor is trying to help us sort that out. So at the moment I am trying to let him feed for no longer than 45 mins at a time and no more frequently than every 2 hours. That's what I have been advised to do so I hope it is the right thing! He hates it and after about an hour and a half starts crying for food. BUT on the VERY bright side he has had a DRAMATIC weight gain of 1LB in 8 or 9 days!! HV was making jokes about what's in my breast milk! I am thrilled about that.

by the way love the name Persistant Pam!

Hi eenywifemum, I also had problems at the beginning and had to express bm then feed it to DS with a syringe. It does get soooooo much easier and I managed to bf for 13mths in the end so keep going! Also colic does eventually just stop although you think it's going to go on forever...

Things certainly sound as if they are on the up eeny. Did I recoemmend this book to you before? It is written by a friend of mine (I delivered her last 2 babies). Her second DS had terrible colic which she realised was down to overfeeding. She mentions it in the book. He cried so she put him on the breast constantly. With her 3rd & 4 th babies she fed them one breast only at each feed (mentioned that before). Her last baby was 12lb 2oz!
You can get the book on Amazon. It is a very easy read. Colic will pass honestly.

And again I'm back in the loop after a few computer-free days to say PHEW and I am so glad you are onto new problems! My new dd will be weighed on Wednesday and as long as she's put on a few ounces (I don't think a pound is likely, although bravo you!) I will feel tentaively happy that bf-ing is going well at the Lio household. Big hugs to you and Alex.

thanks mears I will get that book if I can pay by paypal, I dont have a debit card, believe it or not! I'll look into it, it looks good.

Thanks also to Lio & calebsmum for your support. Alex gained ANOTHER pound in the last week so weight gain certainly isnt a problem! We are still struggling through with the colic but (knock on wood) I am seeming to cope with it better now than I was before. Hope it stays that way!