"Self weaning" at 13mo....where did it all go wrong?

[YouMaySayImADreamer]

My DS is 13mo and has decided to "self wean"...i put this in inverted commas because I know it is too young to have naturally weaned, but the problem is, I dont know why he has, because it wasn't my idea!

I wanted to carry on longer, although part of me is happy to stop. I am just so sad that it ended like this...with him not seeming bothered or wanting my milk anymore, it feels like he doesnt need me or that he mustnt have enjoyed bf that much! (I sound insane I know!)

I am struggling to understand what I could have done differently though. So, here is what happened:

• He was ebf on demand for 6mo (I battled to keep supply up from 3-6mo but managed to keep him weight stable)

*At 7.5mo I returned to work and he had two bottles of formula during the day but bf on demand mornings, evenings and days off. For six weeks I expressed once a day in work to keep my supply up

• I night weaned at 11mo, kind of by accident. I stopped offering the breast at every night waking because he had started waking every hour. I just kept the one night feed that I felt was a genuine feed, but he dropped this soon after and slept through from about 12mo

*He started to lose interest in the morning feed at about 12mo and would prefer to get up and have his weetabix!

*12-13mo his remaining feeds got shorter and shorter...he would suckle for a minute or less before biting onto my nipple and looking up at me. He doesn't seem frustrated or bothered, but I suspect there is not much milk there

Did I inadvertantly lead to him stopping this early? Or did I just have a rubbish supply all along? I have always questioned my supply as I never felt my milk come in at the beginning, never felt engorged (except if I missed a few feeds and I havent even had that since he was about 7mo), and never leaked a drop.

This could be a nursing strike if you want to continue he still might it is worth considering if you are really not ready. Keep offering and pump to boost supply. Otherwise pat yourself on the back for a job really well done which if I am being honest is probably what I would have done because I fecking hate pumps.

My DD "weaned" around 10 months ish. Basically she was frustrated with breast feeding compared with easy (for her) bottle feeding, would scream when offered breast only placated by the bottle. In the end the only breastfeeding she would have was a dream feed when she was actually asleep. I was a bit sad and kept this going til she was 1. I would have carried on with morning/ bedtime feed til 2 and beyond, but in the end it was quite a nice gradual way to swap from breast to bottle.

You have done really well, please pat yourself on the back

I am currently suffering the opposite problem, as are some friends. My DD at 14 months still wants boob, as in all day, but I need her to go to nursery so I can work. I wish she would ease off voluntarily but it doesn't seem to be happening so currently we are having lots of tears and lots of attempts to distract in my house

I am still allowing it morning and bedtime, which means I have a human limpet once the buffet is open.

No one ever said it could be hard to stop, only hard to start...

My dd self weaned at 13 months and I was devastated! She's never had a bottle so it wasn't anything to do with that - don't 'blame' yourself there. I felt it was due to her getting her top teeth and found it had to relearn to latch with them.

I find all the stuff you read about how no baby every weans this early very grating and guilt inducing. I pumped to keep supply up for a couple of weeks in case she changed her mind but she didn't. You might have more luck!

Thanks all for your replies! Its is a funny one because he is past the normal bf milestones of 6 months and a year so I suppose it is what it is, but I battled on for so long that I feel robbed of the nice easy bit of doing morning and night feeds and knowing that he is getting all of the lovely benefits of my milk.

It has crossed my mind to pump, but I HATE pumping...I have never got much of a yield and I had to do it for 3 months to increase supply when he was 3-6 months soI really don't fancy going back to that. Part of me is also happy to stop because we are ttc #2 and it may help....so I suppose things have worked out well for me in that he made the choice himself...but I am still feeling sad, guilty and like I would have liked to carry on through toddlerhood....mixed emotions I guess!!

Just also trying to figure out where I went wrong because I would like to avoid the same mistakes if I am lucky enough to get a next time. Thanks for all your lovely comments though, makes me feel a lot better hearing all of your experiences

DS stopped bfing at 13 months and I would say it was mutual rather than self-weaning - I'd night weaned and then offered a couple of cups in the day, so down to morning and bedtime by that point and he also just lost interest. I was ready to stop though so was glad he'd given it up with no upset or trauma.