feel like giving up but dont want to be selfish...

[MrsLee]

Hiya all....

Iv been breastfeeding my new baby girl for 5 weeks, everything is going really well an iv had no problems atall but i cant help feeling like i just want to give up, I b/f my other 2 children for 13 months each and didnt have any problems or feel like this.
Im finding it hard to keep the other 2 occupied with it being the summer holls and feel resticted as my new baby is feeding on demand about once a hour so it limits what i can do,
I know its so good for them and all the benifits for both me and her but i cant shake this feeling like iv just had enough... i know it sounds terribly selfish but i just want my body back to myself.
Is it so bad to stop?

No its not bad to want to stop.

I do think you should do your best to give it another week or two though, as 5/6 weeks is classic growth spurt time and the feeds should settle down into a more manageable pattern son.

Also if you give up having successfully bfed 2 others, is it possible you may feel you shortchanged no 3 when you look back?

R.e the other 2 - I found cbeebies/videos invauluable when I was bfing dd2. dd1 watched far more than was good for her those 1st few weeks but is hasn't harmed her in the longterm.

Keep bumping this, someone more knowledgable will be along soon.

Congratulations on No3!

A happy mummy is necessary to have happy children. But perhaps there are other avenues to explore - it would be very sad if you gave up, thinking it would sort out your problems, but then found yourself just as bogged down with bottles etc and no better off than before. IME the only hassle with breast is that it has to be you doing it, and that it always takes at least one arm. OTOH bottles are even more hassle as they take both your arms and there's usually more winding and yuckier nappies, plus there's washing, making up, sterilising etc.

I may get slated here, but what about trying to lengthen the gap between feeds once or twice a day - by using a dummy, for example? Or perhaps you can carry her in a sling so that you can feed one-handed? Also, there's no harm in the occasional bottle, and your older children may be entranced by the opportunity to feed their baby sister themselves.

Can anyone help by taking your older children out? Of course you want to dedicate time to them, but a playdate will please them more than a frazzled mummy.

Ideally we don't want our children glued to the TV or PC, but this isn't an ordinary time, and an hour or so a day can be offset by a visit to the park - hopefully you'll be able to feed the baby during either of these activities when the older ones may not be as demandig of your attention.

I think that maybe if you don't feel as pressured over the feeding, you may not feel as robbed of your body as you do ATM.

I see PrettyCandles has made all my points, but I've typed a long post so here it is anyway

must be tough keeping tabs on two others at the same time - have you thought of trying a sling so you can bf and still have one hand free?

TBH if it's going well and there are no actual problems it might end up being as much of a faff to stop as to carry on - if you ff on demand you'll still be stuck on the sofa once an hour but with the added hassle of having to make up bottles, heat, cool, sterilise etc etc, not to mentiont going through teats till you find one she likes... And could you stand the possible crying if you stop demand-feeding?

It will all get easier soon - the 5-6week growth spurt is hideous while it lasts, but will settle eventually. And then it'll be September and the kids'll be back at school and you'll look back and wonder how it all seemed so difficult...

It would be a shame to give up, especially if others have said you end up with the same problems while bottle feeding.
My friend gave up BF ater a few days and thought formula would solve all her problems but it never she ended up with a baby that was still wanting fed just as much excpet she had to do all the cleaning, sterelising and making up of bottles.
I may be out of line saying this but could you be feeling a little depressed? It must be overwhelming having 2 children and a baby to care for I only have one other and a baby and I know how hard going it could be.

Thanks for all the coments, im just taking it day by day and some days it dont seem that bad.. i know its so good for her and feel really mean for wanting to take her beloved boobie off her. maybe i could try both bottle and breast to give me a break? i could really do with a night out for example as its been well over 12 months an im only 22. Im not saying i want to stop b/f just so i can drink, the are many other reasons ie the other kids.
Every day is a bonus so i'll keep on taking each day as it comes.

MrsLee you could always try expressing every now and then then the siblings/DP can help out that way. You could even build up a small stock so that there's plenty there for you to have the odd night out. At least that way your daughter still gets the goodness of your milk and you get a break.

My mum breastfed my brother and sister but thanks to the way hospitals were ran 30 years ago she wasn't given the support when she tried to breast feed me (the midwives would give me a bottle in the nursery then bring me out to mum when I obviously wasn't hungry) so her milk never really came in. Anyway, she still feels guilty 30 years on that she didn't give to me what she was later able to give to my brother and sister. So It's really worth thinking hard before stopping.

I've only been bfing for 11 weeks and there are times when I just want a break so I know exactly how you feel... especially when there's a growth spurt!

Do your best to give it another week or two, her feeding patterns may settle down to something more comfortable for you - as I suggested, you could even try to ease her in that direction.

It's generally better to wait until after about 6w before introducing bottles, as it's less likely to affect the breastfeeding then. I mix-fed my ds from 2w, but didn't feel happy about it at all, but do know that it won't necessarily lead to the baby rejecting the boob. Make sure you use wide-mouth bottles and get the baby to latch on to the teat in the same way that she latches on to you: gaping mouth, bottom lip curled over etc.

And whatever you decide to do, give yourself a pat on the back and remind yourself that you are a star for having bf for as long as you do, what with all the extra hard work that having two other children as well involves.

Kayzed I felt exactly like that I have DD who is nearly 3 and when DS was just snacking early on it was hard at times but now DS is 3.5 months and I am so glad I am still feeding him his feeding has settled down so much and he still never feeds for ages but is much more efficient at getting the milk now that he is feeding well.

You have all my sympathies - but consider yourself lucky...I went/am going through asimilar situation with TWINS (and I have three others!!!!! (but not all tiny)) I went through a 4 week patch (2-6 weeks) when I didn't seem to be able to fill either of them, particularly around tea time, and there was one memorable day when I sat on the settee for 9 hours, either feeding, or not moving for fear of waking them and having to start all over again! During that time I used formula as a top up feed; babies actually did better if I replaced one entire feed with formula. I hated doing it but a) was SO exhausted there wasn't much choice and b) I knew it was only to get me through a rough patch.
So I think the earlier idea of giving EBM (if you have time to express in the first place) or just one formula feed for a while may give you some breathing time. And remember - 3 more weeks and the children will be back at school! Keep it going!

Hi, my Dd is only 3 weeks old & I feel a bit like a milk machine as well !!

TBh I do think that FF or expressing is so much of a faff, I just can't be bothered with it & I think at this age they have tiny tummies, so need to feed frequently.

MY HV said from about 6 weeks, you can start a sort of routine, ie spacing the feeds as they can start to take more.

I have another Dd too, we tend to watch a bit off TV at the weekends, when it's feed times too

Agree with the comments about resting & it's for such a sort time ( I bf DD1 for 2 years, so I know how you feel)

I would recommend a sling. I have used one of these with 3 of my 4 children and it is fantastic for bf and doing other things at the same time. Super comfy for mum and babe! It is so worth carrying on!

You adjust the sling, latch on, then maybe tighten the sling a little for complete support and latch retention. Bliss and perfection.

It is hard during the summer hols isnt it I have a DS whos eight a DS who is 2.5 and A DD of 9 weeks and its hard work cause she feeds alot too! and I want to take the kids to the cinema etc I finally got to walk the dogs the other day by myself it was great I didnt feel like this the other times either I would persevere if its not getting you down to much as the kids will soon be back at school but I dont think you would be a bad person to stop

kayzed - thanks for the vote of confidence! Having done it three times prior to twins makes it a LITTLE easier...but not much. And its much more tiring. Plus point though is that I need 1000 extra calories a day and my darling m/w herself told me to eat cakes and chocolates and biscuits...! (If only I felt like it!)But seriously MrsLee, and everyone else...just grin and bear it a while longer -- it WILL get easier. Take it day by day - or even feed by feed as I had to in the first weeks with my DDDS - it keeps you sane and the task manageable if you do it in small chunks and congratulate yourself for every feed you manage. It will all be worth it - so I keep telling myself (and I'm also far too lazy to be bothered with bottles and sterilising...and its too expensive when you have TWO to feed!!!!)

Kayzed, one benefit of using a sling is that if the baby does get disrupted he/she will often go off again easier if you are walking and bf at the same time. The movement makes it extra soothing.