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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Did it hurt when you first start breastfeeding your baby... honestly?

80 replies

lovecloud · 10/08/2006 09:04

It did with me both times and babies latch was checked with both.

I think it is wrong to tell new mums that it will not hurt if babies latch is correct, makes mums feel like they are failing if they are doing it correct.

Of course everyone is different but I know only of two people who said they had no pain whatsoever and about 20 who did experience pain, I am sure many of these 20 people did not have baby latched on correctly but not all of them. Quite a few even went to breast feeding classes.

I just started this thread out of interest after reading another thread today. I think mums should be prepared that there MAYBE pain at the beginning but with support it will ease and feeding will become a very enjoyable experience. I think this would make more mums stick at it and get through those early weeks.

This happened with my close friend who recently became a mum for the first time, i told her that it will hurt but will ease after her breasts get use to being drained 8 or more times a day for 20 or more minutes. She had councellors check her latch a few times who said it was great and it did hurt but she remembered my words and after a few weeks she was pain free she said she was glad she was prepared for experiencing pain.

What do you think?

OP posts:
LucyJones · 10/08/2006 09:06

I completely agree with you. I found it incredibly painful and it was very frustrating when the midwives said my latch was perfect. I gave up after 5 weeks because I just couldn't see it getting better. I'm hoping to persevere this time round...

morningpaper · 10/08/2006 09:06

I completely agree.

I think that telling mums that pain is caused ONLY by bad latch just makes them feel that they are DOING SOMETHING WRONG. I think it is better to say that it might hurt but that DOESN'T mean you are doing something wrong.

I think it takes babies a few weeks to learn to feed efficiently and with a decent latch, and it takes a few weeks for your (sensitive) breasts to get used to their new job.

Personally with both babies, for the first couple of months I felt like I was trying to attach myself to a stapler every two hours.

fluffyanimal · 10/08/2006 09:08

As I have just posted on Rollingpapa's thread, yes, I totally agree with you. Sometimes it just hurts no matter what you do and to be told it won't hurt if you are doing it right is not the best approach.

Original poster
lovecloud · 10/08/2006 09:12

morning paper - made me smile, thats a great way to describe the pain. maybe they should write that in breastfeeding leaflets

"... at first latch on pain resembles nipple being stapled..."

i just remember all those deep breaths i took with babies latching on, breathing through the pain knowing that it would ease in a few minutes and my concerned dh saying "is that right?", "are you doing what the mw said?" "is she on the right way?"...

  • YES!!!! IT JUST F*IN HURTS ANYWAY, HAVE YOUR BLOODY NIPPLES GO THROUGH THIS 24 HOURS!!!"
OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 10/08/2006 09:12

Hmm, when I hear "the latch may not be right", I think "good, maybe this can be fixed", not "it's all my fault"!

And yes, sometimes pain is inevitable (I had very painful letdown with both DSes, and strong sucking problems with DS2, neither of which was fixable really), but surely it's better that everyone who's having pain gets their latch checked, than that women just shrug off pain and get cracked nipples etc?

morningpaper · 10/08/2006 09:14

NCQ COMPLETELY AGREE that latch should be checked.

It's the message that pain = something wrong which is problemmatic

Original poster
lovecloud · 10/08/2006 09:16

i agree all mums should have their latch checked even if its their 3rd baby, its amazing how much you forget.

in my birth notes second time i asked for midwive not to leave room until she was satisfied my baby was on right and the a few days later i had a bf councellor check just to be sure that i was not starting off on the wrong foot, its so important to get it right at the beginning so basically there should be more support at hospitals just after birth. they kind of leave you to it which is nice t get to know your baby but they should check on bf mums a few times.

OP posts:
docket · 10/08/2006 09:16

completely agree, was thinking the same after reading other thread

CarolinaMao · 10/08/2006 09:17

but some of the pain (in my case) was caused by cracked nipples, which were caused by dodgy latching in the first few days. That pain doesn't stop until the cracks have healed.

The sensitive nipple thing was only a problem for me for the first 20 seconds or so of each feed.

better to check the latch if there's pain than let a poor latch go unnoticed surely?

NedKelly1978 · 10/08/2006 09:17

Two of mine hurt latching on, they jsut seemed to suck hard. And let down hurt with all of them especially in the early days. It is normal, and I think this thread is a great idea to point that out.

Furball · 10/08/2006 09:20

Yes it did! my visiting midwife after 3 or 4 days told me it was normal for the first minute to be painful. Did make me wince with just the thought at the next feed. After about a week it was fine.

CarolinaMao · 10/08/2006 09:21

x-posts

I just think if you tell people to expect pain, a) they'll be put off bfing and b) they'll put up with pain caused by incorrect latching.

blueshoes · 10/08/2006 09:24

It didn't hurt at all with my dd, but she is a sip-and-nap dinky sort of girl. Also, my nipples are like bullets and smallish, so maybe easier to latch on to?

But with ds due in 2 months, I am mentally preparing myself for pain, and not naively assuming that it will be as easy with ds as it was with dd.

oliveoil · 10/08/2006 09:28

er I had a slight twinge for the first few days, made my toes scrunch up but my the time I had counted to 5 it had subsided.

However, with dd1 I had a section and was in hospital for 5 days with FABULOUS midwives at the end of a buzzer who manhandled me and my boobs into position, so that helped enormously.

So no, no major pain here.

lazycow · 10/08/2006 09:35

Agony for weeks - still hurts now at 20 months.

I also felt like a complete failure and people constantly telling me it shouldn't hurt was a nightmare.

One thing that helped me was a kind pragmatic friend who has breastfed 4 children (each for 14 months or so) came to see me after the birth.
Conversation

Me ' It just hurts all the time'

Her oh yes - every one says it doesn't hurt but it always hurt me'

Me ' but every one says it might hurt during the latch but it should get better after that and that it shouldn't hurt for the whole time'

Her ' Oh I always had some pain for the whole thing - it get better though and you sort of get used to it'

This made me feel a whole lot better - if she could do it so could I. The pain did get better but has never gone away entirely.

liquidclocks · 10/08/2006 09:37

I don't think it's just honesty about pain that would help though - when I remeber all the stuff I got told about BF in advance (wonderful, fulfilling, easier etc ect) and then the reality of it where DS actually didn't know what to do, pain, feeling hopeless + what I've read since joining MN about the real length of time it takes to feed, nibbling, not being able to use a routine like I did. Maybe a bit of 'all-round' honesty would help mums like me who are given the wrong expectations from the beginning?

lazycow · 10/08/2006 09:38

I do think you should get help with the latch as first step though. I am talking about the fact that I had A LOT of help with the latch yet everyone kept saying it shouldn't hurt.

I eventually saw a private breastfeeding counsellor who spent a lot of time with me one on one. This helped a lot but the pain has never gone away completely.

mawbroon · 10/08/2006 09:39

Someone I worked with warned me when I was pg that breastfeeding was sore. I had already read the whole "if it hurts then something's wrong" stuff so I had mixed messages and had no idea what to expect.

First time I tried to latch ds on I was bracing myself for pain and I was very surprised when there was no pain at all. About a week later, things got a bit sore what with cracked nips etc so because I knew "if it hurts then something is wrong" I sought advice and the problem was sorted within a couple of days with a course of antibiotics for an infection.

If the only piece of advice that I had been given was that breastfeeding is sore, then I would probably have either just suffered the pain or given up so I do think that "if it hurts then there's something wrong" is a valuable piece of advice.

Perhaps it could be rephrased so that new, hormonal, exhausted mothers don't interperate it as if it is all their fault if things don't go smoothly. And, as we seem to conclude on most bfeeding threads, more support for breastfeeding mothers wouldn't go amiss either.

Californifrau · 10/08/2006 09:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wilbur · 10/08/2006 09:41

Oh yes, hurt terribly for about 6 weeks with ds1 (nearly gave up) better with dd and better still with ds2 as I was v v v v v careful about positioning. Still hurt a lot though at first! I went to a good b'feeding counsellor who said that it's like breaking in a pair of shoes, it can be uncomforatble with bits of sharp pain but then will go eventually. She said screaming agony (as it was with ds1) was probably due to cracked nipples after positioning problems and that will take a while to heal.

throckenholt · 10/08/2006 09:41

yes for the first few weeks for the first minute or two. I never got bleeding nipples, but did use lanolin on them after a feed.

I guess some baby nipple combinations are just not ideal to begin with - and as the baby grows it gets better.

BUT - if it hurts all the time and you are getting very sore - something is wrong and you need to get help.

henno · 10/08/2006 09:44

I found it a bit paibful for the first few seconds of each feed for a couple of weeks - pretty much just the latch on itself. Doesn't hurt at all now (20 weeks). But I did find it annoying that all the midwives at my ante-natal classes were vehement that 'if it hurts, baby is not latched on correctly'. This just isn't true every time, although I agree the latch should be checked. Luckily I had a wonderfully practical friend who already had a two-year-old and she told me straight: it does hurt sometimes, sometimes for a long time. Ante-natal class midwives also insisted that BF babies never ger wind - another myth!

DetentionGrrrl · 10/08/2006 09:50

When the milk first came in, it was agony for a day or two- plus my breasts resembled Vegas stripper implants! Also got a cracked nipple in the first week, which was sore. Midwife showed me to angle my son slightly differently, and problem was resolved. I love brestfeeding him now- it's like a cuddle and a feed at the same time!

newmum10 · 10/08/2006 09:51

Yes, a little - with your first one you just don't know what to do, no matter how many times you'v read about it. Stick with it as it really is worth it - my daughter is 7 months now and I'm really glad I didn't let the pain put me off at first. As with loads of things, I found chatting to the other Mum's in my ante-natal group a massive help a it reassures you you're not the only one! Good Luck xx

suzi2 · 10/08/2006 09:52

For me, falling asleep while DS was feeding caused him to latch badly and gave me a cracked nipple. On the other side, I had a milk blister which would 'catch' during feeds. Both of these things gave me pain. I had the latch checked and thought "what am I doing wrong as it's still sore" and it was only when I started reading on here, I realised that my nipples needed a good few days to heal. After that they were fine. Regardless of the cracking, I found breastfeeding for the first time a very uncomfortable sensation. Although not toe curling like a cracked nip. I also had a painful letdown which took me by surprise as I didn't anticipate that bit hurting.

I do think that the best thing to say to mums is that it shouldn't hurt. That way, they can see if things such as latching can be improved for them. If you tell them that it will hurt, it will put them off/scare them and will also mean that they may persevere through problems when they don't have to. I know quite a few people who never had any pain when breastfeeding for the first time.