Night-weaning - anyone success stories which dont involve cc?

[bumbleweed]

Reluctantly need to night-wean, as dd (almost 10m) waking virtually every hour crying. I was feeding her 3-4 times and dh was rocking her a couple of times, but the tiredness has been making me ill and down.

Decided not to feed her more than twice - 2am and 5am, but give her a big double-sider feed, and she would get dh the rest of the time. We have been doing it a week now and we had thought that she would stop waking for the inbetween times as she would realise that no matter how much she cried she wouldnt get bf.

Its really disheartening because when she wakes she still cries loads and loads and it sometimes takes dh 20-30 mins to settle her by rocking.

The thing is:

Should we stop feeding her altogther so that she realises there is no point in waking at all?

How do I get her to take more solids during the day?

I know that they are supposed to get most of their nutrition from milk until 12m and that the solids thing will take off eventually. But I also know that she is definitely hungry at night as she eats barely anything despite being offered various finger and spoon foods several times per day.

not sure if this should be in sleep forum?

its kind of about my need for sleep as i have to go back to work soon, and I cant function

What about bfing her more often in the day as well as the solids? That may mean she's less hungry at night.

I wouldn't stop feeding her a couple of times at night yet . Also a week is not very long - though it seems it I know.

Have you tried giving more milk feeds in the day? (though it can be difficult - I know ds was a nightmare to bfeed at this age as he was too distracted)

I really do think two good milk feeds a night is enough for her as long as she also eats/breastfeeds well in the day.

Maybe stop worrying about the extra solids during the day (though keep offering) and up her daytime milk from you. This might mean being home a bit more for a while so you can feed where she is less distracted and offering breastmilk every 2-3 hours during the day again even if she isn't feeding that often at the moment.

lemonaid, she bfs at approx 6.30am, 7.30am, 9.30am, 11am, 12.30pm, 3.00pm, 5.30pm, 7pm, 10/11pm.

she wont feed any more than this

anyone else around?

bumble I'm by no means an expert but I felt for you so much reading your post, you must be SHATTERED...I remember going on another night feeding thread recently and getting REALLY pounced on by someone for saying that after a certain point babies don't physically NEED milk at night. But I still believe for MY ds, by the time he was around 4 - 5 months, that the night waking was a habit; he was bonny and bouncing and would certainly not fade away if not fed at night! I felt very certain of this and think this helped me be strong when it came to not feeding him when he woke. I don't even remember him upping his milk in the day particularly, so with him it really was mainly a habit. I understand this may be different for your dd, but to me common sense would suggest that she MIGHT take a lot more in the morning if she has had a night without it? Maybe she would eat more solids in the day if the night feeds were stopped?

With my DS it took a very few nights of him waking and crying, but I wouldn't call what we did 'CC' as it went on for such a short amount of time really. It was just breaking the habit for him really.

Oh to have one of those babies who just stop waking on their own eh?

I would say you could just go with it in the hope that she drops it on her own one day but you sound so exhausted.

not sure how much use this will be, as ds was only 6 months, but i just reduced and reduced the length of feeds in the night and he gradually got the message. i didn't do anything very drastic - after a few minutes i used to break his latch, and if he went back on i fed him for about a minute, then broke the latch again.

i always went in to him when he cried and fed him straight away (we tried dh patting and shushing him but it came close to sending us both insane rather than jut me). i also never stopped him re-latching if he wanted to, but over about three or four weeks he gradually decreased the amount of feeds he took at night.

i'm not sure how much of that was down to the breaking the latch stuff and how much was because he came to the end of a growth spurt. like you, i always felt that he was feeding because he was hungry, but that the problem was he was getting too much at night and not enough in the day

good luck.

sparkle, cheers for your support, it was my previous sleep thread where your altercation with F&Z occurred! That was the one where I couldnt get dd to sleep at night because she wont be rocked any more but she screams if we leave her in the cot.

We have half solved that now by me doing stories and bf, and then dh going in and she will go to sleep on his shoulder. I say half-solved because it means I cant put my own child to bed - if I stay in the room she will be in and out of the cot all evening faffing around and refusing to be fed/rocked to sleep. Anyway just a wee update!

I really wish I had your confidence about the night-feeds and not needing them. I was seriously thinking of taking the same tactic as you and just stopping the feeds - but it seems such a sudden, dramatic change for her, that I dont think I could cope with her distress.

lazycow, yes you are right a week probably isnt long enough and I am feeling 'defeated' way too soon (its a vicious cycle because I think I've got myself into a kind of negative place due to the tiredness and ongoing wearing-ness of it all, and then this prevents me looking objectively).

lummox, I have just got 'The No-Cry Sleep Solution' out of the library for the second time and the breaking-off thing is one of her suggestions.

I did try it about 3 months ago, but dd just rooted again or cried if I tried to break her off. I have to say I had no idea it could take 3-4 weeks, perhaps I need to be more realistic and actually stick with something. I had kinda concluded that that just didnt work as a technique but hearing your story has given me a huge injection of hope.

thanks

bumble, my ds still wakes a couple of times a night at 18 months, but he didn't eat properly until at least 10 mths despite me offering solids several times a day. So just to say that your dd may start eating well soon & then sleeping better - though still waking a couple of times a night maybe for a while yet?? (not sure how useful that is to you - soz!)

i'd recommend the no cry sleep solution by elisabeth pantley or else mothering your breastfeeding toddler. ok i know your child isn't a toddler but there are lots of gentle humane ways to night wean in that book. i haven't read it all yet so cant repeat them, sorry!

i think we have just dropped a night feed - but it's early days.... i started off offering her a bottle instead of breast and she drank it but took two hours to settle. the next night she took less milk but still took an hour and a half to go back to sleep. the third night dh went to her and what a difference! she refused milk and was back asleep in 20 mins. night after that straight back to sleep for him. next night, didn't wake up at all. so seems for dd it was habit and if she saw me, she wanted bf cos that's what she was used to but if she saw dh she would go back to sleep quite happily and show no interest in formula.
it's not foolproof, last night she took formula from dh after refusing to go back down but we're hoping yesterday was the exception not the rule!
not sure if this will help you as we did rely on formula to see if she was hungry or had a habit but i hope you find a way to get some sleep soon.

thanks for the suggestions you guys