Desperate please help

[qumquat]

4 week old dd has a very bad latch and I just can't seem to improve it. I'm in agony, she's starving. Already given two bottles today so worried about supply. I'm sat here with her screaming next to me to upset to even latch on badly. I hate breast feeding but feel terrible at the thought of giving up. Can't produce more than 1oz milk when I express. How can I get through the night?????? Scared I'm getting so upset I might hurl her across the room...

And don't worry about your supply, especially by how much or how little you've expressed; some mums just don't get on with expressing, or only with some pumps. If your supply does dip a bit, once the problem has been sorted, you'll be able to get it back up again (I've done this, hard work but short-lived).

You'll get more sleep too once the problem has been fixed, and you won't be so worried, both of which will help with you feeling down.

Good idea from radiatormesh, where abouts are you? Have you had a chance to call LLL?

I had a really rough time of it at first, same reason mainly. I don't know how we managed to get him to latch properly, but we stuck at it and he did.

I found what really helped was that DP would sit next to me and at the moment DC was about to latch on, would give my shoulder a good hard squeeze/mini-backrub. It had both an immediate and long-term benefit: (immediate) distracted me, and (longer-term) it felt nice and relaxed me. I got to associating the nice shoulder-rub feeling with the breastfeeding and that relaxed me in general enough to win through. A bit of a bonkers idea, but worth trying. And your DH sounds like a dear.

Best of luck.

Hi OP,

When I had awful pain with DD feeding, I found the only thing that helped was pain relief, lanisoh cream & to feed in the rugby hold with DD on a pillow, whilst I was sat up.

X

Definitely get checked for tongue tie. One of the signs is not opening wide to latch.

You may need to see a few people and get a few opinions until you find out what is going on. I saw 7-8 HCP's in the end before diagnosis at 6 weeks.

Thanks so much everyone. I have had checked for tongue tie. Lactation consultant said maybe but work on improving latch first. Apparently 8 week wait to have it snipped though and there's no way I could bear this level of pain for that long. Calling midwives office in hysterical tests yesterday finally got a response from them and they recommended a midwife at another drop in session. The midwife was great and got dd latching on- the relief was incredible! The first time in a month I haven't been in pain! Sadly I can't recreate it at home though so back to square on. She used her finge to widen dds gape but unless I grow a third hand that's not an option for me. I do feel finally cared for though as she's coming round tomorrow, so just 24 hours of pain to get through before I see her again. Now I know how it's meant to feel I'm not willing to put up with a bad latch. So an endlessly unlatching dd which of course sends her nuts. Then I sit her give in and let her feed on a bad latch or give her formula.

I worry that her just seeing me crying all the time and having such stressful feeds is damaging her. I've had depression and eating disorders most of my life and I'm terrified I'm laying the ground for the same for her. Ironically this was why I was so desperate to bf to give her the best nutrition and bonding - instead she's already linking food with trauma!