Breastfeeding - Sleeping through

8 replies

quootiepie · 01/08/2006 23:00

Hiya,
Im BFing my 4+ month old on demand and hes nowhere near sleeping through. He will never go to bed at 7 either... i didnt worry about it before but everyones babies seem to be sleeping more than mine. He falls asleep either on breast, then we go to bed, or we go to bed and I feed to sleep (fine with me). Longest hes gone is 4 hours and thats only a very few times. Ive tried to feed him to sleep, settle him early, but hes wide awake. We get up about 7, and usually he goes to sleep about 9-11, then maybe 3-5, but that varies alot... sometimes he has loads of 10/20 minute naps on my lap, or he is in swing and sleeps for 3 hours. Should I be limiting his sleep during the day? Is it still normal to be waking maybe 4 times a night to feed? Hes never really grizzly or anything- hes a happy, content baby... im just worried he doesnt sleep for 12 hours in a row, either broken up with feeds or straight through. Any advice would be great, thanks x

OP posts:

Kiskidee · 01/08/2006 23:03

Get the book: the no cry sleep solution by elizabeth pantley. lots of information about how sleep patterns change with babies and how to develop a routine that suits you and them. your baby is at a great age to start using the techniques she describes.

many others will come along with more hands on advice soon.

hairymclary · 01/08/2006 23:05

no advice really i'm afraid, because what you've described is 100% normal.
it's fine for him to wake 4 times a night to feed. If he is happy and content, and you are happy and content then that's all that matters

foundintranslation · 01/08/2006 23:10

my ds is now 14 months and woke 4 or more times a night until well over 6 months. He's now 14 months and still bf - I still feed him to sleep (he can occasionally drop off himself now, though) and he wakes once or max twice, and occasionally sleeps through . His bedtime tends to be around 9 or 9.30, because he just won't sleep sooner - but then he wakes up at around the same time as us, and it's lovely to all wake up together . He didn't have a daytime sleeping pattern for a long time, but now seems to be settling into having a more or less long nap in the middle of the day. I know how exhausting it is (I work FT too...) but I do think sometimes too much emphasis is placed on sleeping through - and I do feel 'vindicated' in a way that he seems to be slowly sorting out his own sleep. He's fine btw - never been ill, very alert, developing just fine - just seems to be one of those children who don't need all that much sleep.
HTH

Original poster

quootiepie · 01/08/2006 23:18

Oh, good. Should I let him sleep when he wants during day then? Ive never woken him up as I feel abit mean... should I leave him sleeping?

OP posts:

Kiskidee · 01/08/2006 23:20

oh yes, agree that too much emphasis is placed on sleeping through. the goal of this book is to find what you are both comfortable with - sleeping through is not the be all and end all. like fit, my dd is still bf to sleep at 15 mos but also have her nights when she goes down happily without it. she has never slept through and comes to our bed between midnight and 2 am. she'll feed then and at 4 am and sometimes, for the hell of it it seems, is off and on till 6 or 7 am. dh and i both work full time and with this arrangement we all get enough rest. it is a matter of finding what works for you.

Kiskidee · 01/08/2006 23:22

the key for babies under a year is to get them 2 - 2.5 hrs sleep during the day (a 12 hr period) then having a bedtime routine (usually starting with a bath). it is best to make sure they don't wake up too late from their last nap before bedtime. hence at 4 months I would think to keep awake at least 2.5 hrs before bedtime.

Original poster

quootiepie · 01/08/2006 23:29

Only problem is we dont have a bedtime... sometimes he might have last feed at 9 until 9.30/10, or at 11, or even 8. DH works shifts and we eat sometimes late so I cant go to bed at set time with DS to get a bedtime established. I bath during the day. I never know which of his feeds will be the one he falls asleep at. Should I be establishing more?

OP posts:

mcnoodle · 02/08/2006 14:16

Have a bf 14 month old and all I would say is that 4 times a night at 4 months is pretty normal. If you are starting to get stressed out by the lack of sleep tho, it is time to start working slowly towards longer periods of sleep at night.

I would try starting a bedtime routine (even if he doesn't actually go to sleep) at 7ish. And shifting his afternoon sleep forwards so that he's awake longer ie sleep from 1-3ish. You may have to wake him up in the morning to achieve this.

Ultimately it really doesn't matter if you are both happy and at his age routines are not the be all and end all. In a few months however, he will want routine and you can gently start putting things in place now.

BTW at about 9 months I could tell that ds wasn't waking in the night to feed properly - he was eating trough loads of solids, so I spent a week comforting him back to sleep with no boob, then another week just going in and patting etc. Has slept through the night like a dream pretty much ever since.

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