Return to work and night weaning - bad idea for continued bf?

[glorious]

DD is 1 this week and is a pretty bad sleeper. She's bf and eats solids well in the day but won't take much milk (morning, lunchtime and bedtime - I've tried to get more in but she just bites).

She self settles happily at bedtime after her feed, story and lullaby so I think her hourly/two hourly wakings are about hunger and comfort which she's just got used to rather than an inability to self settle.

I go back to work in a month and simply can't function like this. Co sleeping no longer works as she's so wriggly I can't get comfortable. I think I'd just wait until she grew out of it but I will just not cope at work if I don't get some sleep.

She won't take expressed milk (yet) so she'll be down to morning and bedtime feeds.

If I try to night wean in this context is there a big risk she'd wean completely? I really don't want to stop bf.

I don't know enough about BF to say generally if night weaning might mean total weaning, but I was in a similar experience with DS a year ago - going back to work, many night wakings, wouldn't take EBM or milk etc. We found we were able to cut down one feed at a time over a number of months and that kept me just about with enough sleep while still keeping his milk intake up.

We started with the first wake of the night. DH would go in and settle him. After a few nights he usually got message and would stop waking at that time. Then we'd do the next wake after that. Was hit and miss, sometimes we would give up and try again in a week or two. I would go to sleep early to try and get a chunk of sleep.

Not saying it was easy, and we did some co-sleeping too which was at least better than up and down to feed him. You'll be surprised how well you can cope as long as you know things are slowly getting better.

I night weaned my DD at 6.5 months and carried on feeding in the day until she was 3 years old

I too returned to work and needed my sleep

I didn't nightwean( my dd just started to sleep through about 11 months) but I am away with work 1-2 days twice a month and she doesn't feed for 48 hours and it's been fine. I think you should be able to nightwean and still keep feeding morning/night for however long you both want.

Thanks that's really encouraging. hazy I'm happy to keep one or two night feeds, do you think I could use your method on just the middle wakings rather than starting with the first?

Watching with interest as we have an EBF just turned 1 year old who is currently waking 3 times a night at a minimum. We are wondering which one to go for first ..... .

We did successfully night wean our eldest at a year but she only woke once and it was very painless...I carried on feeding until 17 months

I night weaned when DD was 14 months old, was working too but managed to continue to bf during the day I didn't work, weekends and morning/bedtime for a long time after that.

We chose to go with the early ones first because it seemed easier - often we hadn't really gone to bed yet so we were still awake and fully motivated (much harder to stand things when you just want to get back into bed!) Also he tended to wake up every hour or two after the first wake up regardless of when that was, and the wake ups got more frequent. So if it was 10pm then would be 12, 2, 3, 5,6 or something similar. But if he slept til 2 then it might be 2, 4, 6, 7: much more bearable.

However that was him and not your DC so no reason why starting in the middle might not work for you. I think Dr Jay Gordon suggests having a period that you class as 'night' and doing no feeds in that time, but cuddling to sleep instead. Then eventually you just sit with them to sleep, I think. So for you that might start with a fairly small night of 12-4 or something, then extend whichever way suits you?

Another factor I forgot to ask about - are you working full time? I only work 4 days a week so could BF DS on in the day three days a week if he wanted. He didn't ask for it much, though, except if ill etc. but maybe that helped with supply.

You're all really reassuring me, thanks.

hazy I know what you mean about it being difficult in the middle of the night, and actually I think she'd more happily drop her first feed, it's just the one I'd keep... I'll have a think about whether it sets the pattern for the night, maybe it does. I need to get out of the mindset that she needs filling up.

Oh and four days when we'll apart from 730-6.

glorious I find that if I snack in the evening it makes me more likely to wake up hungry at night- I think my stomach gets used to being full. I think DS is like this too so definitely worth considering if it sets up a pattern to feed him.

I found it much easier once he was over 1yo as I knew he would be getting increasing nutrition from other foods. He does drink cows milk now, loves it, as well as one remaining feed at night.

WRT timings, you could till feed him at bedtime, then, and first thing in the morning perhaps. Again that wouldkeep supply going. It is really pretty amazing how it can stay when you've been bfing for a while - I just feed once a day now but it can ramp up if he's ill, and the milk always seems to follow.

I night weaned at 14 months - I returned to work at 10 months and the night feed (it was just one at this point) was killing me.

I also did night shifts on occasion from 10 months so I knew she COULD go without the milk.

So when we night-weaned, my boyfriend did the nights for a week. It was fine, she needed some cuddles but no hysterics. It took about a week for her to stop waking up at the time she used to for milk. No signs of giving up bf, she is 16 months now and has a good feed morning and evening, and I can function at work!

If I had been feeding multiple times in the night, I probably would have tried to knock the feeds off one by one.

Good luck, it's all very emotive (and exhausting!) stuff

Yes hazy I know what you mean about it feeling better once they're one. I'm going to try to cut the first feed as on reflection DD may well be like your DS.

bairn glad it wasn't too bad for you. I think DD will be very cross indeed but she might surprise me!