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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Is this normal?

21 replies

dds · 30/07/2006 11:25

dd2 is 13 weeks and fully bf, but I'm on the point of giving up bf or at least supplementing with formula. Problem is she still feeds for ages each time. She never ever spits the nipple out, just falls asleep on there while still doing little fluttery sucks. Everyone tells me she's comfort sucking and I should just take her off, but she's only gaining about 2oz a week so although I'm not really worried about her weight gain I don't feel like I can cut feeds short. I usually try to let her have at least 30 mins on each side (she always takes both) but then I have to take her off because dd1 is being neglected too long and is really suffering. Is the fact that she's feeding so long a sign that there is something wrong with our technique, or could it just be normal for her? Is there any way I can encourage her to feed more efficiently? She always does at least 10 minutes of really good, long drawing sucks at the beginning, but it doesn't seem to fill her up. Any advice would be really appreciated.

OP posts:

Callisto · 30/07/2006 11:41

I am sure that more experienced people will be along soon but for now my advice is stick to what you are doing, ignore anyone who tells you comfort feeding is bad and invest in a sling then your dd can feed/sleep all day and you can get on with everything else. I think mixed feeding will negatively effect the breast feeding too. Your daughter sounds like she is doing really well so well done you.

mrsnoah · 30/07/2006 11:57

Sounds fine to me. Just put her down when she falls asleep, she must feel full then or is too tired to carry on . (not an expert but ds1 did same thing.)

Kiskidee · 30/07/2006 12:28

it sounds normal. a feed starts with fluttery sucks like you describe, once you get a letdown, they suck, pause(drink), suck. then you can get more fluttery sucks and another letdown of suck, pause suck. Maybe not as deeply as the first big letdown. I used to aim for a couple cycles of this on one side then swap over. sometimes taken sometimes refused. in time you get to know when they've had enough and you can put her down. if she fusses try again. don't stress out about it. you and your baby are always learning. You sound like you are doing fine.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 30/07/2006 12:30

The flutters are her trying to stimulate your supply.

Sounds like you are doing great. Just let her feed as long as she wants to and you will both be fine

bramblina · 30/07/2006 12:55

I agree with all, esp. kiskidee. I think my ds was similar but at an earlier age. I would take him off after trying to wake him a few times and if I felt he really was just stuck on there for comfort I would take him off, and put him to bed. I thought I would try to do this to encourage him to know that my boobs were for feeding, not comfort as such and try to encourage him to get a good feed. I didn't have an older child to think about though so I sympathise. How long is she going between feeds? I wouldn't worry about her weight either, so long as she is content. I don't think though by taking her off towards the end you'll really be cutting her feeds much at all, if I were you I think I would do as you have siad as you want to spend time with dd1.
I really also think the formula introduction would not help your problem. Did you bf dd1, can you remember how it went with her?
I also think you're doing a great job.

Original poster

dds · 30/07/2006 14:07

Thanks for the encouragement. The problem is really dd1. She is very bored while I'm feeding, has never been good at playing independently - not that I expect her to be at 2 - and now has to entertain herself for an hour at a time. I also feel guilty because I had similar problems bf her and gave up at 6 weeks because of poor weight gain. I have a sling and it's the only place dd2 will sleep in the day, but I've never found it easy to "get on with everything else" while she's in it, especially not playing with dd1. The idea behind introducing formula supplements is to try and get more sleep at night, as dd2 wakes up 3 times a night and is often awake for an hour or two. I'm hoping if I introduce a bottle at about 10.30 she might go longer than 3 hours. Won't she...?

OP posts:

kayzed · 30/07/2006 14:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jackstini · 31/07/2006 15:08

dds - formula won't necessarily make her sleep any longer than the breastfeed. You are doing really well and providing her with all she needs.
My friend's dd plays 'babies' when my friend is feeding her ds. She has to feed, change, dress and burp her dolls at the same time as mummy is looking after ds. Might be worth a try?

hotmama · 31/07/2006 15:33

dds - I gave up bf dd1 because of poor weight gain etc. I was determined to go longer with dd2 - she is now 25 weeks!

I only have an age difference of 16 months - so I know how hard it is - my dd1 is only 22 months.

I rely a lot on Cbeebies when I am feeding dd2 and dd1 has 'special' toys/books to play with when I am feeding. Feeding does get quicker when they get older - and therefore soooo much easier and less time consuming.

It is 'normal' for lo's to feed for ages when they are little and 'constantly' when they are going through a growth spurt - it isn't always like this!

Both my dd's were 'buggers' for slow weight gain - trust your instincts - and don't worry about slow weight gain - as long as it is a weight gain. HTH

quootiepie · 31/07/2006 16:09

hiya, DS is 4 months and feeds like mad. Its calmed down in lsat week or so, but he feeds and feeds, falls asleep on my lap and still sucks... I found it was PARTLY kind of habit... when I passed him to DH while I went to loo, he didnt cry for more, just enjoyed being played with and having attention. When hes not really feeding, just playing around with nipple in mouth, I take him off for a little and play with him or something. If hes actually still hungry, i put him back. DS still feeds between 10 min (heaven!)and 2 hours (great when soaps are on ) Ive been assured its all normal... aslong as theres plenty of wet and dirty nappies. Ive been told often by HV you cant overfeed a BF baby.

WriggleJiggle · 31/07/2006 18:57

Wriggler is 14 weeks and sounds exactly the same. I'm doing all I can not to fall out with the parents in law who keep saying 'she can't be hungry again'?! She loves feeding, and I'm sure she does 'comfort feed' alot. I tend to let her feed as long as she likes and as often as she likes before boredom starts, then I take her off and try and interest her in something else, if that fails I know she is actually hungry.
Must be so difficult with 2 children.
The only time I can guarentee her not screaming for food is when out walking, so I spend hours in the park.
Good luck.

WriggleJiggle · 31/07/2006 18:58

By the way, anyone know when I can expect the next growth spurt?

FrannyandZooey · 31/07/2006 19:05

I would definitely get a ring sling - the type where they lie sideways and can breastfeed while you move around. They are quite discreet so you can walk down the street without anyone knowing she is feeding. They take a little work to get the hang of but then you will be away. I really like the Huggababy but there are many sorts.

Tbh I don't know how anyone manages to breastfeed a second child without either a large age gap or a ring sling. They should be given out with all that crap you get in the Bounty bag

kayzed · 31/07/2006 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

aviatrix · 31/07/2006 21:52

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Xena · 31/07/2006 21:59

F&Z where can I get one of those (pref with fast postage) I was looking at a different kind of sling in blooming marvelous today but I didn't think it would be any better, we are away next week so would be great for then

FrannyandZooey · 31/07/2006 22:42

Xena, I really like the Huggababy . They are extremely helpful if you phone them and explain when you want it for I am sure they could sort it out. You can use it for feeding, baby sleeping, and when they are older baby / toddler riding on hip (I used mine till ds was 2 and he is a sturdy little chap).

It took me a few days to feel completely comfortable I was using it correctly but if you are not scared to just have a go and try it, you'll soon get the hang. Again when I had problems I phoned them and they talked me through it. They're a UK company which is good to know you're supporting home grown business as well.

aviatrix · 01/08/2006 10:23

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sniff · 01/08/2006 20:06

my baby is eight weeks and fully BF she is my third they all have done what you describe it is so they get more thicker milk next time and for comfort I have 2 other children and know how you feel but if you stick with it it does pass honest

allyco · 01/08/2006 21:01

All my 5 breastfed for hours at a time sometimes. They lov it, so that's why they do it.

But sometimes it does get a bit draining doesn't it? Keep going. You are doing GREAT.

triedmybest · 02/08/2006 10:10

I will be shot down for this.
My Ds is exactly the same and I got so worried and anxious about his feeding that I made myself ill (PND).
Have been giving bottles in the day and trying to keep Bfeeding at night for 2 days now. My Ds is already loads happier and gaining weight and I am starting to feel less frazzled. It is great that you are bfeeding your child but don't feel that it is the only way - there is far too much pressure put on people IMO. Do what is right for your family and don't feel guilty.

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