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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Exhausted milk machine :(

28 replies

Expectans · 18/01/2014 19:58

Baby is 3.5 weeks and currently bf. He seems to be feeding constantly, every 1.5 hours today, and when he isn't he needs to be held or he screams. We had a really bad night yesterday and I am now exhausted, and just when I think he is finally no longer hungry he screams again.

Would moving onto bottles make it better?

I know it will get better. But currently feeling like I usually do only deep in the night. :(

OP posts:
SamO1984 · 18/01/2014 20:30

My oldest was like this, literally up every hour, this went on for ten days, she lost too much weight, I was actually advised by a midwife to give her formula.
I was upset as I really did want to persevere with bf but at the end of the day she was not happy and was starving, looking back now I was barely eating anything, so was not producing enough milk.

I just posted on another thread with a mum with a baby not taking to breast feeding, I really would not put yourself under too much pressure, I have since had two more children (who are bf) and if you can push through this point and you want to carry on by all means go for it, otherwise give some formula and see if it makes a difference, you could continue to breast feed, maybe just bring in two bottles a day. I have combined fed my DS3 for 5 months now, and it works for us.
Try expressing to see how much you produce, I did this widen I had my first and after half an hour only managed to get 2 ounces, I do this now with my third and have managed to fill a 9 ounce bottle, in 15 mins, this can be a good indicator of how much you are producing :)

mrshen1 · 18/01/2014 21:38

Hello there, I also had this regular feeding with my son who is now 3 months. What I am still discovering is you have to eat a lot. He also bf through the night. What maybe some comfort is that at 6 weeks I felt a bit better and someone mentioned that by this time your milk has matured. I am still having to eat a lot and persevered but you do what you think is right for you and baby. I lost a lot of blood at birth and need to take iron which has probably made me tireder. xxx

crikeybadger · 18/01/2014 21:42

Sorry you're sounding fed up and shattered, I think there is often a feeding frenzy around this time.

Can you just try and go either the flow? Set up camp in bed or on the sofa and just feed and rest. I found a sling settled my baby really well between feeds. You might also want to check that the latch is as efficient as it can be so that the milk is transferring well and your baby is getting a good feed.
Hang in there , it does get better.

Oh and expressing is not thought to be a good indicator of how much milk you have. Some women are able to express loads and others not so much but both are still able to feed their babies.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 18/01/2014 22:25

Do you express? And do you have anyone about who can help and look after your baby while you have a rest/sleep? Even if it's friends/family popping in for a visit just give them baby and have a nap - people love to feel like they're helping.

Been there twice and I can honestly sympathise (((((hugs)))))). The thing that helped me was to tell myself that it isn't forever - even though it feels like it.

Oh and plenty of these Brew and these Cake helped immensely.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 18/01/2014 22:28

Oh forgot to say - have you got a wrap? When they want to be held ALL the time I found my wrap a real blessing as my arms were so tired and let you feel abit human with fully functioning arms again iykwim!

Santabroughtmethis · 18/01/2014 22:31

It sounds completely normal OP and doesn't mean he isn't satisfied, its completely normal to have this type of pattern and just when you think you cant take no more, they give you a few extra hours - it's like they know Wink

I'd advise as someone else pointed out, lots of food and water, sleep with him when you can. If he doesn't link being put down in between maybe go for a stretchy wrap, babies love being close and after being right there with you for 40 weeks it's completely normal to want to be close to you now.

Take a look at the kellymom site, its great.

curiousuze · 18/01/2014 23:18

Sounds totally normal. It feels hellish sometimes! But they've got tiny tummies so feed little and often. It's so tiring. Make sure you're eating enough and just go with it as much as you can. You're doing really well.

AnythingNotEverything · 18/01/2014 23:25

This is perfectly normal and will pass I promise!

Is there someone who can walk him up and down the stairs or take him out in the pram so you can have a nap?

YY to eating. I can tell DD's growth spurts as much from my change in appetite as the more regular feeds.

To answer your question - a bottle may help today, but long term, I think bf is easier. DD is almost 13 weeks and feeding is like breathing air now. She squeaks and we feed. Easy peasy. No washing up, no sterilising, no clock watching. It's so easy. Mixed feeding works for plenty of women, but it feels to me like the worst of both worlds.

Get as much rest as you can, hole yourself up in bed/on the sofa with the baby, some hot tea and a packet of biscuits. Hand baby over whenever he isn't feeding. You can get through this.

omuwalamulungi · 18/01/2014 23:47

This was exactly the time I struggled most with DS. It got better by 5/6 weeks and unrecognisably better by 10weeks. I mix feed and it works well for us. I think it was 3.5 weeks when I burst into tears and said I hated breast feeding and didn't want to do it anymore so my mum suggested I give him a bottle and have a rest, he's 7 months now.

It's a lot of responsibility being a food source, don't be hard on yourself!

Original poster
Expectans · 19/01/2014 04:30

Thank you for your answers.

Two problems we are having. He is a very small baby, and sometimes just will not open his mouth wide enough to latch on properly. Have tried drops of milk on nipple, brushing his nose, finger on chin, but nothing really works, especially at night, I guess when I am tireder and lazier. And secondly I am just not feeling hungry. I am eating 3 meals a day and occasional snacks, but no more than usual as it seems weird to eat when I am not hungry.

Re expressing, I have tried and could only get 2oz out of what felt like an engorged breast, which is annoying as this week the in laws are around and they are desperate to help, but as I cannot express they are stuck with cuddles, very very short walks and nappy changes.

OP posts:
maffive · 19/01/2014 05:21

You're doing a great job, OP. It can be really, really hard at first.

It's called cluster feeding when your baby demands very frequent feeds, and it's very common. As has been said it doesn't last. Persevere if you can, as when things settle down the feeds become much easier and bf'ing becomes really enjoyable. Both my dd's did this, but I ended up bf'ing until they were around 18mo.

The best thing your family can do to help right now is to cook, clean etc as much as possible for you so that you can just give your attention to your baby. They'll get to have more involvement with the baby when he's a bit bigger. Putting pressure on you to give them more time with him is not helping!

Have you checked your feeding position with HV or lactation specialist? Could be something like needing to move his mouth so that nose is in line with nipple and he has to stretch up to latch. It can also be hard to get the mouth around the nipple if your breast is really full when you start a feed - hand expessing a small amount before you start can help this.

I'd recommend getting some professional advice, but if you decide that you'd prefer to switch to formula, it's not the end of the world Smile

hazchem · 19/01/2014 05:40

Oh it's tough those first few weeks but feeding all the time is pretty normal.

Things that might help are co sleeping. Have a look here for safe co sleeping information.
A sling might be helpful too. Something soft with the potential to feed in would be great, you could visit a sling library if one is local to you

It sounds like your in laws are doing exactly what they should to help you and baby. Other useful things for in laws and parents are making a meal, vacuum and putting on a load of washing/hang it out/fold it up.

Longtalljosie · 19/01/2014 05:48

It is very tough. Since your inlaws are here today I'd recommend they take him out for 3 hours if that's at all possible, and you go straight to bed (no faffing about emptying the dishwasher)

One 3 hour gap will be fine, I promise.

ThisIsYourSong · 19/01/2014 06:32

I'd disagree with taking a frequent feeder out for three hours at that age. Young babies can become very very hysterical very quickly and I don't think that's a position the ILs want to be in.

Have you had your latch checked to make sure he's feeding in the most efficient way?

Ask your inlaws to make some lactation cookies and get some fenugreek capsules if you think your supply is low.

You could also try cranial osteopathy in case there is a reason that he just wants to suck, rather than is actually feeding all the time. The signs are sometimes misleading.

Hang in there, you are doing great and for some babies, this is entirely normal. It does get better

Longtalljosie · 19/01/2014 07:48

Well clearly if he's hysterical they may have to bring him back. But the OP needs sleep and a rest so she can do what she needs to for the rest of the week. Taking him out in the car may even help. Don't get me wrong, I've bf two children, I do know about the importance of establishing supply but she's at the end of her rope. Removing the baby from the house completely is the only way to get the mum to switch off in my view - you can't nap when you can hear crying downstairs.

Original poster
Expectans · 19/01/2014 09:14

Good morning all. We gave up on attempting to use the cot last week, and am getting more confident about not rolling on the baby while cosleeping. He is certainly much calmer as a result, which is better as none of that dreadful screaming!

I also have a moby sling, which he sleeps in outside the house. I find it quite sweaty though, and he is quite long, and braces himself against the bottom as if trying to launch himself out. I know technically it should be possible to feed in it, but worry about suffocating him?

I went to a breastfeeding cafe last week and they helped with latch, but it is still not right every time so I will go back.

I feel much more human after a bit of sleep. :)

OP posts:
AndIFeedEmGunpowder · 19/01/2014 09:24

Oh I'm so pleased you got some sleep. Cosleeping saved us too. Smile

I think breastfeeding in slings is only recommended once you are both completely comfortable with breastfeeding and with using the sling. It is much easier once your baby has head control and can latch on by themselves.

If you find the moby hot you may get on better with a soft structured carrier like the manduca or with a mei tai.

AndIFeedEmGunpowder · 19/01/2014 09:27

Oh and 3/4 weeks is such a tough time so hang on in there.

I remember when DD got to six weeks and smiled at me. The relief that she didn't hate me and I wasn't doing everything wrong was immense.

northerngoldilocks · 19/01/2014 09:34

Have you had him checked for tongue tie by someone who knows what they're doing? Very frequent feeds and not opening his mouth wide might be indicators of this

Original poster
Expectans · 19/01/2014 16:08

The hospital is supposed to have checked for tongue tie. I will check tomorrow with HV though.

He is currently too light for a structured sling, but cannot wait.

My poor boy is so spotty at the moment.

Naps are the way forward. :)

OP posts:
hazchem · 20/01/2014 08:10

Just wondered how you are doing today OP?

northerngoldilocks · 20/01/2014 09:39

Also on the tongue tie, HV generally not the best people to check for this as they're not specialised although would be a start. Is there a lactation consultant at the bf cafe you went to who could check?

anotherbitofcake · 20/01/2014 13:43

Watching this thread as suffering similar. Hand holding OP x

Original poster
Expectans · 20/01/2014 17:46

Am a bit confused today, as last night was very different. He ate a lot before bed with me at about 10, then in the night woke only twice feeding for about 10 mins only each time before sleeping til 7. I did try to wake him, but he was not waking up. As a consequence I was really engorged in the morning, and he fed again for ages first thing. Does this sound ok? It is obviously better for my sleep, but what about my supply?

I got confused about HV dates so next BF cafe is tomorrow.

OP posts:
Original poster
Expectans · 20/01/2014 17:48

Solidarity to anotherbitofcake.

And Thanks to you all for your advice.

OP posts: