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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

So who chose to bottlefeed or did so after finding breastfeeding hard?

31 replies

aragon · 28/07/2006 19:04

Just wondered after seeing the thread regarding "The Ecologist" article.

I wanted to breastfeed, I didn't plan to bottlefeed but struggled and struggled with breastfeeding. I never found it easy and in fact it was bloody painful. When the pain got too much I ended up expressing. I did this on and off for 8 weeks or so and bottlefed the EBM. The first time I put a bottle in DS mouth I understood why I struggled so much with latching on. He was just not a natural at the sucking thing. Huge amounts of milk would spill out of his mouth and down his neck - even with slow flow teats. In all my years as a midwife I had never seen such a messy baby for feeding. I used to swaddle him up in towels which would be soaked by the end of a feed.

I personally found bottlefeeding a real pain in the arse and time consuming - but I have no regrets that I called it a day after 8 weeks of struggling and went onto formula. In fact all I felt was relief once I had finally made the decision. He is now a happy and healthy 3.5 year old who eats me out of house and home. He's still a messy eater though.

OP posts:

LaDiDaDi · 28/07/2006 19:14

Me, me me!

I am now mixed feeding dd. she was 7+ weeks prem and started formula in SCBU as I couldn't express enough. When she came home I tried to demand breastfeed but she didn't gain weight and as she was still tiny this was a real worry. She now has 3 bottles of formula per day and is doing brilliantly.

I'm trying to keep up my supply but I accept that she may end up fully formula fed. It's not what I planned but then lots of life doesn't go to plan. I'm not a bad mum for not exclusively breasfeeding but I would try again if I had another lo.

waggledancer · 28/07/2006 19:43

Am also a midwife, and a great believer in breastfeeding. But if baby no.4 comes in to being i will be mixed feeding as i always seem to have babies who feed frequently and i believe the lack of sleep involved in lots of feeding has contributed strongly to my pnd.
I am passionate about helping women who want to and can, but i am also passionate about sanity and support the women i meet in their decisions whatever way they decide to feed

brimfull · 28/07/2006 19:49

I had huge problems with breastfeeding.My tits were absolutely enormous and i needed atleast 3 hands to do it.Made for breastfeeding discreetly very difficult.
DD sucked for about 2 mins at a time...I finally threw the towel in after 3 months.
ds was better but because i couldn't feed without a full three seater couch,12 cushions ,3 hands,6 towels....enough was enough after 4 months.

I felt hugely guilty and hated seeing mums feeding and chatting ,feeding and walking around,feeding and bloody cooking the sodding tea.I just was crap at it.....end of!!

Misspiggy · 28/07/2006 19:55

I did after trying SO hard to BF DS1. The birth was quite traumatic with DS ending up in SCBU for nearly a week after taking in meconium (sp) amongst other things. I expressed milk which he was given by bottle as I was too ill for the first 3 days to go to see him. When we finally went home I tried to BF (had a midwife who came in at all hours to help me get him latched on - she was wonderful) but after a week of DS not feeding, me getting lower and lower as I felt a failure because I couldn't feed my baby the midwife suggested bottle feeding and we never looked back. DS2 was also in SCBU for 3 days and I didn't even try BF ing him after what happened with DS1.

Bobalina · 28/07/2006 20:06

Me too, me too, never considered bottlefeeding at all but very quickly discovered, after a very traumatic birth, that I was incredibly niave about breastfeeding. Struggled for 2 weeks, which seemed like a lifetime to me at the time. Then tiredness and pain got the better of me and gave in to the voice in my head saying 'formula'.

Still upsets me to this day (3 years since). I will always feel a huge sense of guilt at my 'failure'.

chopsolata · 28/07/2006 20:09

I couldnt breastfeed dd, she just didnt take to it. Decided i would not breastfeed ds, but tried it and he was a natural. Sadly it wasnt to be, ended up bleeding badly, agony, just couldnt carry on, would have liked to though

expatinscotland · 28/07/2006 20:09

I tried to bf dd1. Traumatic birth, no support, and severe PND.

NO regrets at all. I was seriously ill.

She doesn't have ecsema, asthma, obesity, cold and flu, etc.

foxinsocks · 28/07/2006 20:10

dd was breastfed for around 4 months - she always hated it, was never happy and had terrible eczema, reflux, colic etc.

when I put her on bottles (once trying all the milk and soya formulas and discovering she was allergic to the lot!), she was put on Nutramigen and she morphed into a much happier baby. My breastmilk was just not for her!

I got another chance with ds who was a bit of a milk fiend and I think given a choice, would never have stopped breastfeeding!

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 28/07/2006 20:45

Ds1 was bottlefed after 2 weeks. - Crap HV who offered me no support when I was struggling, plus mum bottlefed all three of us so had no experience. Wish MN had been around 18 years ago!

Ds2 was breast fed 'til 8 weeks then mixed four more then bottle.

Dd whom I was determined to feed, scuppered my plans by being FTT, having a significant heart disorder, involving surgery, months in hossie and being ng fed 'til she was turned 1.

Alipiggie · 28/07/2006 20:51

Both mine bottle fed, after the trauma of ds1 losing 26% birth weight in five days due to no milk. I have never felt guilty nor will anyone ever make me feel guilty of doing the best for my children. Both of whom are healthy happy and have no allergies. I tried to bf and it didn't work - so did my best expressed what colostrum I could. So anyone on here who feels guilty don't your children's and your happiness is paramount.

jofeb04 · 28/07/2006 20:53

I didnt with either of mine. Both births were extremaly tramatic, and imho, formula saved their life at a time i couldn't.

popsycal · 28/07/2006 20:55

My story is a mixed one.

Ds1 was born and I was open minded - I was going to give breats feeding a go and see what happened. he ended up in SCBU at 3 days old with severe jaundice and was in there for two weeks. Formula 'top ups' started there as dehydration was a real issue for his health (or so I was told...). I expressed and breast fed.. Eventually when he cae out, I was paranoid about him getting ill again so continued to top up with formula. One day, when he was about 12 weeks old, I realised I had not breast fed all day and that was that. I often wonder how things would have gone had we not had the horrible start.....as I actually found it fine after the inital week or so. It was just confidence and belief in my body that I didn;t have.

I had several demons to banish when ds2 came along. I wanted to gibe it a proper go. I had a really bad guilt thing about it if I am honest (dont know why I as did the best I could have given the circumstances).
This time round I had more confidence, more information and a belief that we could do it. He is 17 months now and still going strong.

To be honest - I would not have changed the decision with ds1 - it was right at the time given the circumstances.

Jimjams2 · 28/07/2006 20:59

Bfed ds1 to 13 months, ds2 to 2 years, ds3 to ??? don't remember, not long, and it was mixed from the beginning.

ds1 severely autistic (mercury in my breast milk??? who knows- was certainly in the "healthy" oily fish I was feeding him). Had severe eczema - to the point where he had to be wet wrapped.

Ds2 slightly asthmatic

ds3 slight eczema.

I loathed bottlefeeding from a laziness point of view, but my very pro breastfeeding midwife told me I had to be realistic. Resting all day in bed for days on end (which was what I needed to do to get supply up) was unrealistic with a 3 year old and severely autistic 5 year old in the house.

mogwai · 28/07/2006 23:53

bottle fed from the beginning

and no "excuse"

just choice

so shoot me

NotAnOtter · 29/07/2006 00:00

breast fed all five and hate it.
love love love bottle feeding - making them ,feeding them all of it but feel society pressures me into breast....watching the milk go down whilst gazing into their eyes aaaahhhh!

Lemmingswife · 29/07/2006 00:03

Bottle fed both my boys due to choice. They are both very healthy & very loved though!

Chandra · 29/07/2006 00:39

I was going to fully breastfeed for at least six months, I had all intentions to do it, then things started to go wrong, DS was not gaining weight, I was always sore no matter how many times I was told that he was latching perfectly and, by the time DS started to vomit my blood, HV suggested giving a break to one of my breasts for a day to allow it to heal. Production plummeted and no amount of expressing, putting baby to the breast at all hours, etc. helped to increase milk production. The process was so painful that by the time I started to deeply resent feeding times I decided that enough was enough, and gave him a bottle. I think that was the time when bonding started.

However, I felt guilty about that for many months, which definitively didn't help my PND. I wish that all the persons who tut tut me about not continuing to BF had kept their mouths shut, my production was long gone never to come back so the only thing I could get from their comments was to make my PND worse, and to be seriously put off of BF in the future for all the resentment I started to harbour.

earlgrey · 29/07/2006 00:49

Me.

Tortington · 29/07/2006 03:23

i didn't want to and have never regretted it. ever ever. never felt guilty - not once - not even a secret guilt in the back of my head.

wools · 29/07/2006 15:14

Tried to breastfeed both my ds - I couldn't get on with it at all. They both did well with formula milk. I'm expecting another baby in about 10 weeks and I'm desperate to give breastfeeding another go. I hope that this time I will be able to persevere but if it doesn't work I will use formula and not feel guilty.

Caligula · 29/07/2006 15:34

I bottlefed DD after 2 weeks of trying to bf. I had breastfed DS and it took me 9 weeks to establish bf properly and I knew I couldn't go through the same nightmare again. This time I was on my own with a toddler to look after and I'd just been made redundant. Establishing bf was just one more thing to do that I couldn't face.

When the chips were down, that pernicious "breast is best but formula's near as dammit" message was what infiltrated my sub-conscious and gave me the message I needed to "allow" myself to give up. I've never felt guilty about it - I did what I could with the information and support (or lack of it) I had at the time - but I regret not having discovered Mumsnet, because it has educated me so much on the whole subject and may have provided me with the support I needed to carry on. I'd never pretend that I'm as happy with the choice I made re DD's feeding as with DS's - but at the same time, I can't see the point of dwelling on it, that's past and I've got other issues to worry about now (like headlice and homework). However, just because it's over for me (hopefully forever!) I still think it's important that future mothers are better supported and educated than I was.

nicnack2 · 29/07/2006 15:38

bf both dss but each had one bottle per day to allow dh of babysitter to do. either fromula of express. found it OK with ds1 though wouldnt latch onto left breast until 3 weeks old. moved to bottlefeeding at 4 month on the run up to returnung to work, but still feed last thing at night. Ds2 perserved rather than enjoyed it. Awful cracked nipples. Think he nippled fed rather than breast fed till about 6 weeks then was better. now 5 months and again has one bf a day at night and rest bottle.

Mercy · 29/07/2006 15:45

I bottlefed dd after 9 days of trying to breastfeed her. She was badly jaundiced, had phototherapy and was nasal fed for a bit as she kept vomiting bile and wouldn't feed. Midwives who visited at home weren't helpful so we phoned NCT (we thought we had to pay) but couldn't get someone to visit.

With ds, things were easier and I lasted a month. He fed and slept well but I kept getting terrible headaches after feeding, no-one could work out why. The headaches stopped when I started bottle-feeding full time.

Agree formula prep. is a real faff but in the early weeks and months with dd, I quite enjoyed the whole novelty of it.

MacSporran · 29/07/2006 15:56

BF dd for one week, then gave up as I found it very very painful and started to bleed, my nipples also got caught in the breast pump and that was the final straw.

I was very ill after having ds and couldn't bf.

Dd is an angel and very easy going, ds is the opposite!

hulababy · 29/07/2006 16:24

I had huge problems trying to feed DD. I managed 2 weeks of breastfeeding, then went onto mixed feeding until 6 weeks. I moved onto full time formula at 6 weeks onwards.

Breastfeeding was always what I was going to do, but it just didn't work out. DD was hungry and colic-y. I was getting stressed out with it all.

When I did stop feeding it took about 3 days before I reached that painful stage people talk of getting after just a few hours. Something wasn't right, and the support I had was rubbish. I didn't know of people like breastfeeding counsellors, etc at that time.

Luckily me and DH did the bottle feeding stuff between us and got a good routine with it all, so it was rarely a problem for us.

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