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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Breastfeeding in Public

55 replies

quootiepie · 28/07/2006 13:31

Hiya...
This has probably been discussed to exhaustion but Im curious to know how many people DO breastfeed in public, how they do it and how easy/ hard is it? I am breastfeeding, and my son is now 4 months and I feel pretty housebound. As soon as he feeds its a mad dash out the door, and when im out im rushing- hes like a timebomb. As soon as he starts the pre-feed warning signs, its a mad dash home to feed in comfort and privacy. If I go for a trip out, its to windsor as its the only place with feeding facilities (in daniels). I cant even pluck up the courage to feed in windsor great park, incase a ranger spots me and tells me off, or a member of the public. The most daring place ive fed is my husbands car in toys r us carpark... in a deserted corner though! Being only 20 I feel im vunerable to dirty looks and being told off... am i mad??

OP posts:
kama · 28/07/2006 14:48

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MissyCocker · 28/07/2006 14:51

Plesae don't worry about the stories you have heard about police asking bfing mums to cover up or stop, it's not going to happen to you!

Before I became a pro at public BFing, I always loosely wrapped dd in a blanket or large muslin cloth so I could kind of tuck it over any bits I thought were showing, I'm now out and about with DD3, and have yet to raise an eyebrow, even though those stories you hear have made me constantly ready for battle

kama · 28/07/2006 14:51

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apronstrings · 28/07/2006 14:55

Have fed all four of mine anywhere and everywhere and never been asked not to. I hope i am fairly discreet.

Original poster
quootiepie · 28/07/2006 15:32

Cheers guys... its seems theres alot of BFers out there whipping them out. Im abit sorry now ive missed 4 months of outings with baby.

OP posts:
vnmum · 28/07/2006 17:15

first of all, well done for BF, i feel that many young mums your age are pressured into thinking that they should bottle feed because all their friends are etc, so good for you to stick to your choice of whats best for your baby.

I too felt housebound with DS till about 8 weeks when i had to feed him in pizza hut as we had gone out for lunch with my brother who was visiting at the time. i did feel self conscious and it did help having supportive people with me. No one said anything, and i felt a big sense of acievement after it. from then my confidence just grew and i now feed anywhere.

do try the first time with DH for support and i assure you it does get easier with practice.

as others have said, try and find a baby cafe in your area or BF support group.

look online at www.abm.me.uk or thebabycafe.co.uk

HTH and keep up the good work

TooTicky · 28/07/2006 17:30

You're doing fabulously, doing what you believe in, keep it up! I have fed in all sorts of places, and having a ring sling really helps as you can feed and walk and it does make the whole thing a bit more discreet.
this is the sort I have and I thoroughly recommend it

Laura032004 · 28/07/2006 18:06

This website has a list of bf type groups too.

motherinferior · 28/07/2006 18:15

Oh, don't feel bad about the past four months, honey. No point in regrets! Just give it a go. I too got my norks out just about everywhere and the only comments I ever got were 'oh, please do carry on' (friend's 50something brother who was concerned I might feel selfconscious, bless him) and 'are you still breastfeeding - how fantastic!' from another friend when DD2 was about 14 months old.

LuLuKidneyBean · 28/07/2006 19:15

try going with dh to a nice cafe near the end of lunchtime, sit in a corner with walls on 2 sides and then he sits blocking a third side.

this way you can get your public feeding technique knowing that you are not alone. his presence ought to help your confidence too.

i just feed anywhere now. today with a 15 month old standing and me sitting on a low bench at a mom and tot group. day was the first day she really took to bf on the feet.

DollyP · 28/07/2006 19:42

I found the vest top / cardigan combo meant that nothing could be seen. Unclip bra with top still down, postion baby on lap, lift top as baby open mouth and voila! The baby covers your tummy and the cardigan makes you feel very covered up. Wear a cotton one in this weather of course! This was even less obvious than using a muslin (though that's great too!) and worked for me!

Good luck and well done!!

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 28/07/2006 19:51

quootiepie - you've done amazingly well to keep up the breast-feeding so far without doing it in public - timing your day around it like you describe shows amazing devotion that I know I could never have managed. give yourself a huge pat on the back. then tell yourself that it really is time to get out and about a bit more and not have to worry about timing etc. for me this was one of the big benefits of b-feeding. I found baggy t-shirts or loose shirts the best - didn;t even have lift them up - much more a case of bunging dd underneath it. I am 100 per cent sure people never saw my boobs. they might have got an occassional flash of flabby tummy but I could live with that. take the plunge and it'll really open up your life with your dd.

trinityrhino · 28/07/2006 19:51

hi quootie, I have only just seen this thread and I really feel for you. Please don't let bf become something that is restricting your life.
I have bf both my daughters in public ALOT
i bf dd1 for 14 months and dd2 for 9 months. in all that time I only had one woman ask me to do it in the loo, she was very old and we were in wimpy and I just said 'no thanks, I wouldn't like to eat in the loo and my baby isn't going to either' and just smiled at her. she just walked away

I have fed anywhere and everywhere, sitting on the steps in clothes shops, shoe shops.
sitting on the floor in the clothes aisle of our huge tesco,
in lots and lots of cafes and restaurents,
sitting on benches in a covered shopping mall type thing,sitting on benches in high streets, in the bank, anywhere. I have honestly never had any real problems with other people.

I have also never asked a shop or anywhere if it's ok, I don't think I need to, it is ok.
I hope you find the courage to start to try and do it in public.
best wishes to you and your little one

CorrieDale · 28/07/2006 20:06

Blimey quootiepie, you really are a role model! Applause all around I think.... I felt the same about bfing the first time. I remember deciding against in Starbucks because it seemed such an adult non-kiddy friendly place. Regretted it bitterly when I was perched in a corridor outside the loos in Selfridges, I can tell you. But the only comments I have ever had have been entirely supportive. You'll find the same and probably more so coz I'm an old gimmer!

JennT · 28/07/2006 20:10

I LOVE Starbucks to bf in. All those sofas and comfy chairs, but watch out for the milk, stirrer, condiments stand. There are seats behind this and it's never quiet.

JennT · 28/07/2006 20:12

The thing that gives me away though is weighing my baps to work out which one is next. I still haven't got round to sorting out an aide memoire (sp?)

DollyP · 28/07/2006 20:32

Jenn, I used to swap my watch over to the wrist which matched the boob to feed on next, IYSWIM. HTH

CorrieDale · 28/07/2006 20:40

yes, I quickly grew to love Starbucks. As did many other bfing women! I sit and watch indulgently & reminiscently, while DS clings to my legs eating muffin. Lol Jenn. Even now, I have a quick weigh-in.... in public too!

hunkermunker · 28/07/2006 20:48

Aw, QP

I'm actually quite eager for someone to have a go at me while I'm bfeeding in public - but so far all I've ever had is huge smiles from old ladies and conspiratorial looks from other women with similar-aged babies or people utterly ignoring me.

I say eager because I like to think that I could be sensible and rational in my response (I'd want to snarl "what's it to do with you, minger!", but I'd probably say something like "He's hungry, my love, and it's better he has a feed somewhere we're both comfy, don't you think?" with a sweet smile), so that the next woman doesn't get a comment - I know I can handle it but that there are a lot of less confident women out there.

One thing that's helped me not mind feeding in public at all is this which means I don't feel so exposed when I feed. I don't mind getting my boobs out (because I barely do, just lift my top enough for DS2 to latch on and he covers them), but chilly kidneys (DS2 was a January baby) and podgy middle isn't a good look

Go for it - please. You'll feel liberated!

littleducks · 28/07/2006 20:48

quootiepie, im near (ish) windsor, breastfeeding my 3 month dd discreetly (i hope!)in public, (im 20 too), i go to a breastfeeding cafe in slough there are several ir you feel you would like to practice in a controlled environment IYKWIM and if you want i can tell you about some other groups or the places with feeding rooms locally if you need.
i feed in windsor great park, no rangers yet!

Original poster
quootiepie · 28/07/2006 21:03

JennT - i thought i was the only one who did the boob weighing thing! littleducks , where are the BFing cafes? Thanks everyone for replying - given me a real confidence boost

OP posts:
littleducks · 28/07/2006 21:17

Breastfeeding cafe:
Wentworth Avenue, Britwell Wed 2-4 pm (i have been to this one basically a group of breastfeeding women meet up with 2 midwives, 1 hv chat and have tea/ coffee/ iced water)[01753 520253]

There are two more listed in my red book
Osbourne Street clinic, Slough (next to upton hosp) Thurs 2-4 pm [01753 635544]
Community Centre, Earles Lane, Cippenham Wed 10-12 [01753 662730]

Also the nct run a coffee morning at Slough pizza express 10.30 every other thurs and it is always an empty restaurant i know the maidenhead branch runs one too but not sure about windsor.

Fab baby room in john lewis Reading if that helps with free water to sip while you feed, i think reading has lots of feeding rooms, there is another nice one in the oracle so you could do a whole days shopping.

Original poster
quootiepie · 28/07/2006 21:20

thanks x

OP posts:
WriggleJiggle · 28/07/2006 23:01

Wow Quootiepie, I can't believe you've gone so long not bf in public, yet are still bf - thats amazing, I'm sure I would have given up by then.

I have bf just about everywhere restaurants, parks, in car, traffic jam on M1 (bad, bad mother), church (discretely). The funniest place was at Gatwick airport last week with the fire alarm going off and whilst we were being evacuated from the building!

Its amazing how different attitudes are in the UK. Here people avoid eye contact and don't come near you. In Turkey and Holland when I was bf people saw it as a great opportunity to come and coo at the baby and chat about her.

I've never had any negative looks or comments, and I don't think theres anywhere I wouldn't bf.
Good luck

I found it less embarrasing the first couple of times bf in front of strangers - I felt that it I got it wrong and showed too much, then I'd never meet them again, so it didn't really matter.

cye · 28/07/2006 23:38

i breastfeed whenever and wherever too and usually wear a top and pull it up - if you're worried about who can see what try having a go at home infront of a mirror. you'll be amazed how little you can see! i realised i'd seen a lot of women who were feeding babies in public when i thought they'd been cuddling! this is esp true if you are sitting at a table (though be careful not to knock the babies head against it as i did a couple of times at first. ooops. sometimes there's not much space!)