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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Had our first negative comment BF in public, feeling a bit defeated :(

18 replies

kazzeroo · 10/01/2014 21:11

My little one is 15 weeks tomorrow and we have had our ups and downs with BF. I finally feel we are getting there, I am a subtle as I can be, using a muslin or my scarf to cover him when his is feeding. Today we had a 'that is just disgusting' and I didn't react as I thought I would. I really thought that I would have my say or have a go back, but I just wanted to get out of there and didn't say anything-which I have just been going over and over in my head...why didn't I say something?!

I have read through the other posts and there is so much advice and ideas for a witty retort...but I don't think I can do it!

Does anyone else feel/have felt the same?

Any advice gratefully received. x

OP posts:
Bexmathews · 10/01/2014 21:14

Omg I can't believe someone said that!! I haven't any advice but just wanted to share my shock! Xxx

VivaLeBeaver · 10/01/2014 21:14

In 16 months of bf everywhere I never had a single comment. Got a funny look in a curry house once but that was it. Remember its their problem. It isn't disgusting at all.

You don't have to respond, tell them what you think if you don't want. I sometimes think there's no point with stupid idiots. Although I love a good argument so I'd have told them what I thought! Grin. But you can just ignore and carry on.

Happydaze77 · 10/01/2014 21:16

That's awful. They are the disgusting ones for saying what they said. I would have reacted the same as you did because I would have been too shocked and upset to have thought of a witty come-back. Try not to let it get to you.

PenguinsDontEatKale · 10/01/2014 21:17

Poor you. I have bf two children all over the place and never had a comment.

Don't put pressure on yourself to be witty or fight back. Just practice an icy stare. Makes you feel just as good and less performance anxiety Smile.

Sorry you feel low.

Squiglettsmummy2bx · 10/01/2014 21:18

Ignore! My son will be 2 next month & I have had 1 negative comment, a man in a cafe said I should feed in the toilet so I said oh if it's ok to eat in there I will carry for plate for you.he shut up after that. That has been outweighed by loads of positive comments. In Starbucks I had a lady come over & say how nice it was to see someone feeding a toddler, then an older couple from Australia come over to say it was lovely to see as they don't see it much back home then the man sitting opposite said that it was great to see & explained his wife had stopped as she felt so worried about people's reactions in public & he had wanted to comment earlier but was worried he would look like a pervert! Grin
Do what works for you & ignore everyone else or squirt them in the eye Wink

MadameJosephine · 10/01/2014 21:18

So sorry to hear this happened. I've bf 2 children and have never had a negative comment. I'd like to think I would be able to respond appropriately if I ever did but sometimes you just get taken by surprise and are dumbstruck by the sheer rudeness if it. Try not to let this idiot get to you Thanks

TheFabulousIdiot · 10/01/2014 21:21

Just ignore. Unless they come straight up to you and challenge you there's no point.

Original poster
kazzeroo · 10/01/2014 21:24

Wow-thanks for your fab responses. I do feel better knowing that other people would react in the same way as me. I just don't want it to effect us going out and enjoying ourselves, so will count this as a one off and move on.....although I do like the idea of squirting them in the eye!

Thanks again for your support.x

OP posts:
HomeHelpMeGawd · 10/01/2014 21:25

Don't worry about your reaction. You don't need to fight a battle on behalf of all BF mums, nor even on behalf of yourself. You just need to look after yourself. If you feel like retorting, retort. If you don't, don't. However you react in the moment is legitimate. And the most important thing is - you're doing something fantastic, well done!

IAmNotAPrincessIAmAKaleesi · 10/01/2014 21:26

I'm sorry some absolute twat has upset you, how dare they make a comment like that

Don't let it shake your confidence, you are doing something natural and yet amazing, anyone who has a problem with that obviously has major issues

hmc · 10/01/2014 21:31

There are in the distinct minority - you keep up the good work and don't let feckwits derail you

fairypangolin · 11/01/2014 16:44

I have never had a negative comment - if I did I'd probably be so shocked I'd just want to get out like you. Yesterday I had to go to the accountant's with my DH and we brought our 12 week old. I bf'd in the meeting and he didn't blink an eye. I put a scarf over me but DD made such loud snorflings it was impossible to ignore!

I think apart from the very small minority most people really don't care or are actually pleased to see what is a lovely, natural part of caring for a baby. I hope this unfortunate incident doesn't discourage you.

learnasyougo · 11/01/2014 16:51

Rest assured the vast majority of people who see you breastfeed will be approving (but not say anything). don't let one ignorant comment put you off.

you don't have to come back with any retort or confront people. I'm sure other people who overheard will have been as shocked as you. as a bystander I like to think I'd have said something but sometimes it can be too shocking or make you self conscious enough to do that. just carry on as you were. I think the ignoramuses are in the minority, tbh.

wokeupwithasmile · 11/01/2014 17:16

Well, if I had heard it rest reassured that I would have had a go at her/him for you. Some people have problems of their own, you and what you do have often very little to do with how they react to things.

WaitingForPeterWimsey · 11/01/2014 20:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PastaandCheese · 13/01/2014 21:00

Poor you. That's a nasty thing to say.

I never had a negative comment in a year of feeding my first. I'm heavily pregnant with my second now and I dropped my coffee in Costa the other day and another customer (who got a tiny splash on him when I am my toddler were covered) shouted at me very aggressively and loudly that I should stay at home despite me immediately apologising.

Like you I always thought I'd kick someone down the street for being so rude but in actual fact I felt so vulnerable I grabbed DD and ran out in tears. Very out of character for me so I entirely sympathise with how you felt.

TheXxed · 13/01/2014 21:08

I am so sorry that happened to you, please don't let it put you off. And don't be surprised that you didn't jump back with a witty reply you are only a few weeks post partum.

I had one bad experience when I was in Barclay's and I was bfing my then 5 month old ds. Two of the male cashiers were giggling like school boys. And one of them said quite loudly ^look she's got her tits out^.

I switched banks.

Superworm · 13/01/2014 21:44

I've BFed DS for almost two years and only had one negative comment. Happened in Homebase of all places. An older lady saw me feeding and suggested I should move somewhere we couldn't be seen. Hmm

I asked if she would say the same if I was bottle feeding and she looked perplexed and shuffled off!

People don't think it through. Don't let it bother you. Boobs are great Smile

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