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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Finding this too difficult...

24 replies

mollysmummy1970 · 08/01/2014 01:11

Had my DS1 on Friday after quite a traumatic labour, so I don't know if my head is just all over the place because I'm not my usual self and it's early days.

I'm trying to breastfeed, but it's so bloody hard! I'm finding it absolute agony and have been in tears most days. Today I had the breast feeding support worker out to visit, who assured me that all this is normal and that it'll get better but I just don't know what to do until then? I feel like it's making me crazy and I'm so close to just packing it in but feel so silly and a failure because it's still only early days and I know I'll be judged for it by certain members of the family.

I don't really know what I want out of this post, just needed to get it off my chest.... Sad

OP posts:
BrianTheMole · 08/01/2014 01:18

Its not easy. Are you sure you have the positioning right? I called the bf supporter back a few times to make sure I had. I think if they are not latching on properly it does start to get quite sore. Are there any bf support groups you can go to?

WaxyDaisy · 08/01/2014 01:18

Congratulations on your baby! You must be so tired (((hugs))).

I'm just on my way to bed, but saw your post and don't want to leave it unanswered.

Can you try taking things just one feed at a time? It's v early days and it sounds like you've had a tough start. Night times can feel so long, and everything is harder in the dark when you're tired.

The bf helplines will be open first thing, and they are really helpful and supportive. Agony is common, but can usually be improved with a few tweaks. It is not inevitable, though awful when it happens Sad.

How are the nappies? Any yellow poos bigger than a 50p?

Maybe some videos here may help you with some. Ideas on positioning that might help? Has anyone checked for tongue tie?

I hope the night goes ok.

tiktok · 08/01/2014 01:23

Being tearful and finding bf and the early days of looking after a baby to be hard is common but agony on feeding is def not normal. The midwife should help you achieve comfortable feeds.

Original poster
mollysmummy1970 · 08/01/2014 01:33

Thanks for all your replies, when she was out today she said my positioning was fine, but I think she's wrong, I feel like he's not taking enough into his mouth.

I'll take a look at those links, thanks for posting, it's just so hard, I've never done well without sleep but I didn't expect it to be so hard. I have the midwife coming out 2moro afternoon so I'll need to say to her, everything always seems so much worse at night.

OP posts:
Original poster
mollysmummy1970 · 08/01/2014 01:37

Waxydaisy, poos are still meconium and he hasn't done one today which is also making me worry that he isn't getting enough. And nobody has checked for tongue tie.

OP posts:
SmallBee · 08/01/2014 02:05

Get the midwife to check for TT tomorrow.
Don't worry about feeling tearful I was for two weeks after my DD. (She's only 12 weeks now)
As for people judging you-screw them! If they want to do things differently then let them do it differently with their babies. This is your baby and you should do what's right for the two of you. If that is BF'ing then great but if it doesn't work out then that's fine too.
Good luck OP, I hope tomorrow really helps.

LUKYMUM · 08/01/2014 02:09

I found I was sore till a breast feeding volunteer helped me improve his position and he was able to latch properly.
Congratulations on your baby. I hope you get some support from the mid-wife.

neontetra · 08/01/2014 02:13

Nipple cream (the one in the purple tube - Lasinoh? It's a lanolin one) also helps a lot with the pain in the first few days, I found.
Good luck and congrats!

ThingsThatGoBumpInTheNight · 08/01/2014 02:15

Great advice so far op Smile
Congratulations on your new baby x
Have a google on natural feeding positions/biological feeding position
Yy to the check for tongue tie - a lot of places check at birth now
Also remember both of you guys are new to this .. I had a lot of people say stick with it, you'll click around the ten week mark, and they were right despite is suffering with allergy, silent reflux, colic, and tongue tie, they really were right with that 'it drops into place a little better' time.
And please don't feel a failure whatever happens. You're fantastic for even giving it a go x

anothernumberone · 08/01/2014 02:25

Stick with it OP you are doing great, it is very hard at the start but when it gets easier it really does. All the advice above is great but also have you support. Rest as much as possible and get someone else to do the chores. Keep asking questions until you get the answers you need.

Original poster
mollysmummy1970 · 08/01/2014 02:35

Thanks everyone, even seeing everyone's replies is making me more positive about it all.

OP posts:
EvenFlo · 08/01/2014 02:42

I was you 14 weeks ago, tired, worried and bloody fed up. I had some absolutely amazing support from people on MN so keep posting!

Ultimately I made the decision to stop BFing (for many reasons) and just wish I had done it sooner and stopped beating myself up about what other people think. Do what is right for you and your baby, people seem to have a lot of opinions which in some cases is great but can just add pressure. I am a firm supporter of 'happy mum, happy baby' so bear that in mind.

From what I understand the BFibg does get better over time so if you want to stick at it remember:

'This too shall pass'

It all really does get better I promise - even in this short time I have seen massive changes and am actually now finding it hard to really remember those horrific first few weeks.

MrsSpencerReid · 08/01/2014 02:52

Hi, I had DS on Friday too, it was a sort of planned section (planned but brought forward to 35w) and we are combination feeding, so given how tired I am, and how hard I'm finding it I think you must be doing an amazing job Grin don't really have any advice, just wanted to let you know you're doing great. Have some chocBiscuit and a Brew

Sid77 · 08/01/2014 08:16

Keep calling the midwives out until you're confident, keep smearing lansinoh on and let your nipples have some air to help them heal. Your baby has to learn how to bf too, so it's hard for all concerned! Make sure you get RL support and remember that most people find it hard at the beginning and your hormones are going bananas so tearful and emotional is a normal state too! Good luck and congratulations Smile

PamsDaughter · 08/01/2014 09:50

Congrats on your new baby - my son was born last Friday as well :)

I'm breast feeding too and I'm told it's going well but just been through a very difficult night. Feels like he wants to feed constantly - I'm just switching from one breast to the other with the odd nappy change in between. Got no sleep until 7.30 this morning when I just left him to cry for a little while for the sake of my sanity.

Poos are still green like algae. Midwife has been and said he's putting on weight - I just have a boy with hollow legs and I need to stick with it and it will get better as the transition to mature milk is made.

They say the first week is the hardest - here's hoping...

Sunflower1985 · 08/01/2014 10:25

The first weeks or two definitely the hardest. I saw a midwife nearly everyday and went to 2 support groups. Luckily my DH was there to drive us around.
Latch is really tricky with such tiny mouths. I remember getting it right once and crying tears of happiness but getting it wrong 10's of other times and being in such pain. I mix fed in the end, which is an option but IME did make bf harder because I missed the crucial first few weeks where they feed and feed to build up supply.
Keep asking for help and using any techniques you have to relax, it will make the bf easier as stress inhibits the release of oxytocin that makes your milk flow. It's stimulated by the suckling, hence why even if they're not always actively feeding it will be helping to establish your supply.
Hth and congratulations.

tiktok · 08/01/2014 11:00

No poos on day 5-6 and still meconium is a sign you need help today in making sure bf is effective - and it is pretty poor care to say your positioning is fine when you are in such pain. Someone should have checked for TT, too. You need to see someone today -not tomorrow afternoon - and they should weigh your little son.

WaxyDaisy · 08/01/2014 11:51

I agree, you need to see a midwife today. Everything may be absolutely fine, but it could be that for whatever reason your LO isn't quite transferring enough milk. This can be helped with little changes to positioning, breast compression, switching sides more, or even expressing after feeds and topping up a little with expressed milk (cup/spoon). I'm only mentioning these options, as sometimes people forget them and suggest formula as a first option if they think a baby needs more milk. It is an option, if needed and/or if you want to do that Smile.

However, over the internet we can't tell what's going on, so you need to see someone in RL today.

Original poster
mollysmummy1970 · 09/01/2014 08:18

Just wanted to give all of u kind enough to reply to me an update.

Saw the midwife yesterday, it was my proper midwife this time so she was here for ages. She rang the neonatal unit and they said to come back out today and see if his poo had changed colour and if it hadn't they would see him on Friday. The doctor said it could be due to him being overdue that he's perhaps just a little slower but as he hadn't lost more than 10% of his body weight then he wasn't too concerned.

Later on yesterday he did another darkish/green poo and just now has done another which is definitely lighter again.

She also sat with me for ages helping me with my latch and I think it's coming on, feeding him right now and it isn't painful so fingers crossed this is the start of things to come.

Thanks again everyone. XThanks

OP posts:
JaneLloyd · 09/01/2014 08:57

I had a very similar experience with my first. After two weeks of really struggling, I met a fantastic old midwife who was running breastfeeding classes. The advice she gave me on positioning my baby's head was fantastic, and never had problems again. In our culture, we don't see enough breastfeeding as they did in the old days, so we don't really know how it's supposed to be done. Keep persevering. It's not your fault.

milkwasabadchoice · 09/01/2014 09:06

Good luck, op! Your update has made me all teary-eyed because I remember how hard I found it in the early weeks. Keep asking for latch advice again and again, if need be, until it's comfortable and keep on with the lansinoh. It can be an exhausting, anxious business if bf is difficult to start with, especially if you feel 'watched' by family around you. Hope it carries on improving.

tiktok · 09/01/2014 09:32

molly, that's all good news :)

PamsDaughter · 09/01/2014 14:14

Hi mollysmummy,
It's interesting what your Dr said about poo colour. I went to 41 weeks and I only got mustard coloured poo this morning, on day 6. I wondered if it was something to do with being overdue.

WaxyDaisy · 09/01/2014 19:17

Well done Smile. So lovely you were having a comfy feed and your midwife sounds fab.

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