I cracked :-(

[Hyperhelpmum]

Have breast fed DC3 for last 8 weeks through jsundice, 12.5% weight loss, tongue tie, bleeding nips, 6 week growth spurt.... Finally cracked and gave her formula tonight. She had 3oz and has conked out after never settling in the evenings until past midnight. I just couldn't do it another night . She feeds, sleeps 20-40 mins wakes, feeds etc until after 12 every night then sleeps until 6 am. I know it's not that bad bit I'm dead on my feet from the up down up down of it and with two other (one v demanding potentially ADHD/AS child) I needed a break and sleep before 12.30. Why do I feel so bad and is this the slippery slope to milk drying up and no longer feeding?

Hyper, don't beat yourself up, you do what you need to do for your baby and for you.

Maybe this will work better for you and your baby.

It DOESN'T make you a lesser mum for doing it.

Don't be hard on yourself, your baby needs a sane mother, that's the long and short of it, you did amazingly well to do it for as long as you have through all you have been through already.
It doesn't mean you have to completely finish if you don't want to, but that's a personal choice.
Get some sleep enjoy the peace whilst it lasts, bf is a full time job!!
Put 2 babies together, you can't tell a ff from bf.

Stop it right now!!! Do not give a second thought to formula! You have done amazing and you are important too. Breast feeding is great but it should never be at all costs!!

You tried, no one can say you didn't so if she's settled on formula do not feel bad. There are a million other ways to love and care for your baby.

Now relax and have a glass of juice or water or whatever. I promise you, you do not have to feel bad ok xx

You know what, if you needed a break, you needed it and looking at what else you've said in your post you really do have a lot on your plate. I had none of your challenges and cracked at 3 weeks, he's been mix fed since then - 7 months now.

I remember the fear that my body would 'see' the formula and stop producing milk instantly, you know it doesn't work like that.

The good thing about when we reach a 'crisis point' like this is that it allows us a sort of watershed moment to decide how we want to proceed. If you pick up feeding as normal tomorrow then this one little bottle will not make a jot of difference in the scheme of things and in just a few short weeks it will all start to get better. If you really don't want to continue, then don't, what will happen??

Make sure whoever is supporting you knows how you feel. You are as important as your baby.

You've done amazingly well getting this far in the circumstances!

With my DC2 we introduced one bottle of formula a day to make life easier for me. It really really did. I had no milk supply issues at all.

Be kind to yourself. x

I felt the same when I gave DS formula for the first time. I cried as I gave it.
Mixed feeding ended up working really well for us. I bf until 13 months. You can still have a great bfing relationship mad give some bottles.

You're doing amazingly well.

AND give some bottles, not mad!

Please don't get hung up on formula guilt, it is so not worth it. I cracked too, and ended up fully ff. So what, really?

DS is three now and eats anything we give him plus what he steals from our plates. That initial newborn phase is just insane and has no bearing on real life.

Thank god.

Just woken for night feed and to all your amazing messages. Thank you all so much. A resounding message of support and 5 hours sleep! I feel so much better! I think I may introduce one bottle a night just to give me the chance of an early night once in a while. I feel better already and the school run looms but I shall be ready! Thank you all again [emotional and unMNetty xxxxx!]

:) glad you are feeling better.

At 8 weeks introducing a bottle as last feed isn't going to wreck your supply as a matter of course.

My mother says that an hour of sleep before midnight is worth two after. So if you use the bottle as a 'last' feed and it helps your dd sleep (doesn't always) then you have the opportunity to get some quality sleep before her first night feed.

When I saw your title I thought you meant you'd cracked and downed a bottle of gin

Formula is not poison. You will not destroy your supply at this stage by missing the odd feed (assuming you've had no supply issues so far).

You've got through some tough times by the sounds and it and should be very proud.

Formula is especially useful when someone else gives it when mum is fast asleep and having an early night

pooka I fully agree with your mum. There is something exhausting about not getting your head down until after 1 am every night, however much you sleep in or rest in day (not much in my case with two others aged 5 and 3!) I feel great today and think some of it is the fact I am not already dreading another unsettled evening with DD up til 1 and the fact that she will take formula and is fine (DS 1 was very very allergic and ended up in hospital so slightly nervous first time I give it!) Thanks again everyone! Sometimes you just need an outsiders/ not emotionally attached view.

Please don't give yourself a hard time - one of my good friends got her husband to give a bottle of formula at 11pm to all three of her children so she could go to bed at nine (or earlier) - she breastfed them all until they were past two. (she also gave them all dummies) - I always cite her as a great breastfeeder!

I tried with all three of mine and never cracked it so they were all bottle fed from 6 weeks onward - I promise you that I have never asked one of DS's 10yr old friend's Mums how they fed them - it is the centre of the world for you right now but, in the long run on his nutritional journey, one bottle won't have hurt at all. If you can continue to breast feed and you enjoy it, please keep going (I felt sad for a long time that I gave up) but ultimately - your baby,, your choice - happy mother, happy baby and all that

You have other children and did you BF them for long? I have 3 kids. Mixed BF and formula with DDs but now have just been BF with ds and it's hard. Have sore nipples. His latch is not great and now have breast abscess whichever is going to be drained hopefully tomorrow. It's so hard with more children and you have to get up and get them sorted too so into knots important that you feel well enough in yourself. BF is great but if your tired and it does drain you and it's hard to eat well as you just find it hard to cook properly too then I think you have to do what works for you. Ds I one month and I can't see me BF for much longer after having such a bad recovery this time! I'm too tired although he sleeps well at night but on and off in day.