BF week old baby- needing reassurance! help re: one boob or both!

[mumoftwoboysS]

So I've been bf a week now and despite the pain/sore nipples I've persevered and still going. But I swing from feeling good/confident about it to thinking it's all too hard/painful.

I have been offering one side per feed but sometimes he doesn't seem satisfied but someone told me they didn't offer their DC both sides in one feed till hers was a few months old. So does my DS need both sides or should one be enough? I have no idea when the boob is empty either but have just been assuming after half an hour of feeding and him usually falling asleep that it must be pretty much empty.

Also he seems to go from sleepy to screaming when he wakes up and wants a feed- it then can take up to 10 minutes to get him to latch as he's so upset and worked up- and I often chicken out putting him on as i don't want to put my nipple in his mouth when he's that worked up as he just clamps down as he's so desperate to feed! My poor left side is so sore from him really clamping down....

I'm also not sure when he's hungry or just wanting to suck. Sometimes after a long feed he still doesn't seem satisfied and wants to go back on the boob but will then just fall asleep after a few minutes. I know some people say just let them comfort suck but to be honest I can't do that- I have two other children to look after and can't spend all day letting my baby suck on my boob for comfort- tho i know that sounds awful! I know he's still so small and needs comfort but it's also making my nipples really sore I have introduced a dummy to soothe him when he needs it. (but I'm also worried this might affect his latching!)

The problem is i ended up ff both my others (due to cracked/bleeding nipples early on) and regretted not bf but now I'm just seeing all the benefits of ff- i.e. more sleep, shorter feeds etc!

Any advice/support would be welcome!!

You are doing great. You can feed from both sides but you just have to sure that he is getting the hind milk . I will try to explain; the first milk thst your baby gets when they latch on is the thirst quenching milk and then comes the hind milk which is more filling. . If you offer him one side and he seems satisfied and he wakes up the next time offer him the other side. If he wakes up within an hour always offer the side you last fed from to be sure he is getting the hind milk then offer the other side.

On the asleep to screaming problem, try to calm him first by cuddling/shushing. My DS has just started doing that but thankfully isn't a clamper.

My NCT breast feeding counsellor said there is no evidence that dummies hinder breastfeeding as long as you aren't using them to avoid a feed (I don't count dummy for 5mins whilst making cuppa/weeing etc as avoiding). If they are hungry they should be sucking on you, but if you can't let him comfort suck a dummy should do no harm.

Honestly don't think too much about the one boob/two boob thing. If your little one comes off on their own or falls asleep after a decent feed and then 5 mins later is still hungry then offer the second. If not, don't worryJust as home says remember to start the next feed on that second boob.

You should offer both. It is nonsense to say that babies wait until a particular age before having both so I'm afraid you friend has mislead you. If he seems 'done' on one side, offer the other. If he wants it he will take it. If not, he won't.

If he's had a big feed and fallen asleep there is no need to wake him up for the other side or anything like that though.

Congrats! :)

• offer as many 'sides' as necessary
• the evidence for fore and hindmilk is now largely disputed hence switch sides as necessary and not 'keep on one boob for at least 20 or else they won't get the hind milk' (not true and also depends how efficient they are)
• a week old will often suckle and not feed for both comfort and to build supply for the future days (and hopefully weeks/months to come). Dummy I think is fine but if you start to restrict boob access for suckling too early you might not build supply

GL :)

Im not a professional, or anything like that, but I would say that it doesn't really matter whether you offer just one side or both. Babies and boobs are so damned clever, they'll sort it out themselves.

Not much practical help, I know.

The other thing I would say is any cracks or bleeding or soreness is probably down to poor latch, rather than him clamping down on you, IYSWIM?

Are you still seeing your MW? Can you get gopher to check your latch? The nipple needs to be very deep in the babies mouth usually to get a good latch, ime.

Good luck, try to enjoy it if you can...

Well done for sticking with it through the pain, when DS was very young it was so sore and then one day I realised it just didn't hurt anymore.

I would offer both sides at each feed too, babies will only take as much as they want and so may or may not want it. The best tip I was given about breast feeding (from on here of course !) was just to let the baby take the lead and not to worry about it.

Many thanks for all your replies! Very helpful. I forgot to mention he has suspected tongue tie. Mw said it looks like it and I googled it and a photo of it looked just like his tongue- heart shaped at the front, tongue doesn't lift up very high when he cries. Some of the symptoms also match ie sore nips and him not latching very deeply. He can latch on I just think it could be better- sometimes he slips and latches on the nipple- ouch! I have an appointment at a tongue tie clinic next weds so just have to hang in there till then.

Thanks for advice re one boob or both- will just let him decide then and see how it goes.

Just want to share my experience as I have a week old as well and have been very lucky to have excellent NHS support here since before the birth. I was told to offer one boob and when he comes off rouse him again by changing him then offer him the other boob. And the next time he feeds, offer the boob that you finished on last time. This works for me, and apart from becoming clingy in the wee hours he goes about 2.5 - 4 hours between feeds. Hope that helps :)

Those benefits of ff you quote are possible with bf too! DD is 11 weeks and sleeps better than DS did at this age (on formula) - she went 11-7 last night and has done similar every night since Boxing Day.

The ISIS independent sleep study reports that bf mums get more sleep overall than ff mums, albeit with more feeds.

Oh, and our feeds are down to 15 mins now, maybe once a day she has a bigger 25 minute feed.

It does get better. A friend reported recently her night feed was down to 7 minutes. I'm not sure I could warm a bottle in that time!

And I forgot to say

1. get that tongue tie sorted - that'll be a huge help

2. congratulations!

missishbel thanks it is reassuring to know that method works- seems to be mostly working for me too (despite the tongue tie)

Thanks AnythingNotEverything it's good to know those things can be achieved with bf! I suppose I only tend to remember te stories of people bf every hour or those who say let them comfort suck when they want (I can't, I have a house to run and kids to look after!) if I can bf as efficiently as you then it might just work- so fingers crossed it gets easier. He did really well last night- feed at 10.30, 3.30 (then offered short feed at 5 as he wouldn't settle) then 8am. Tho not sure right now if he's going so long between feeds because he's not getting enough due to tongue tie! Have 10 day discharge apt with mw today so will see if he's gaining enough weight.

You're right re washing, sterilising and heating bottles- that all certainly takes time and is a faff.

One thing if I continue is I need to master bf in public. Right now with his screaming whilst latching itd be a nightmare...

Not trying to ram BF down anyone's throat here; just to add my DD quickly became a super efficient feeder, we're talking minutes and went 3-4 hours between feeds easily at a young age so I take away that its the baby not the feeding method. I started BF in 'public' at local feeding rooms. I have done it a couple of times in restaurants etc. but preferred the feeding rooms and would time things. Appreciate that is difficult if baby needs feeding more regularly.

congrats, you are doing great.
just to say I posted on here to ask for advice for a friend about bf newborn with suspected slight tongue and best position for less pain and the advice I got was
feeding lying down
feeding in the biological nursing position (led back with baby almost led on top of you)
rugby hold
also make sure latch is deep and if it doesn't feel right then slip your little finger into near the corner of his mouth to break the latch and try again.
hope this helps to hang on in there til your tongue tie appointment

Thanks flojo I have found the rugby hold on one side helps a lot (for some reason cradle hold on that side hurts more) so I've managed to find positions that work best. And readjusting the latch like you say has also helped. Only another day to go till the appointment!

duck that's great. If my ds can do that then I can see how bf can be efficient and easy (without the faff of bottles etc) my one big challenge will be if I get enough sleep at night what with having two other kids and getting up early for the school run. I will repeat a mantra to myself 'this won't last forever' lol!...