BF help please

[niknak888]

My DS is almost 6 weeks old and we're really struggling with BF. It's starting to make me feel not myself and I'm not sure I'm seeing the wood from the trees clearly with it all...

He has been mixed fed from about a week old. At that time I was struggling with the pain and the emotional side of it all, being the only one that can feed him etc (I also have a high needs two year old to look after). So when I was just about to give up we added in FF on the advice of the HV and this has allowed me to keep feeding up to now.

We're having the following issues and I'd love some advice on how to sort them:

-Painful and forceful letdown, this happens on both sides and it is every feed. I have been trying to fed DS laying down with him on top because I read that gravity might be able to help him cope with the letdown but he still splutters a lot.

-After feeding from one breast (doesn't matter which side) he almost always refuses to go on the other side. This results in him getting very distressed and me in tears a lot of the time (especially when the toddler is tantruming at the same time!). I usually give him formula to calm him and he will take around an oz then will settle. This is frustrating because I'm then doing two feeds at the same time. It's also a faff when out. The other day I was in a feeding room where there was a que and he wouldn't go on the second breast so I had to break out the formula and find somewhere else to feed him so others could BF. I realise that giving him formula is probably making this worse as he probably doesn't want to work for letdown again but I just can't leave him so distressed.

-I'm also having an issue in the last 24 hours with the right breast feeling blocked even though I can't physically feel a blocked duct. It just feels really heavy and painful even after feeding or pumping.

DH wants me to give in and FF full time, I think he's worried about my mental health. I can see his point especially when I seem to spend every hour of my life googling BF vs FF. FWIW I couldn't BF my two year old due to latching issues (long story) and pumped for 6 months.

Thank you for any help/advice!

I can't be too much help but with the painful let down it took me til about 6-7 weeks before it stopped hurting every feed, so it will get better. But you have done so well to get this far with bf, it can be really hard work. Your LO will have benefitted from bf already, your dh is right, switch to ff if it will help you. You must look after yourself first.

When you're feeding does he get distressed as soon as he's finished on the first breast, or just when you're trying to latch him on to the other one? If it's the latter perhaps he's just not hungry anymore. I have pretty much always only fed from one boob per feed. (Taking formula after a breastfeed doesn't necessarily mean he's still hungry from what I've read.) Maybe try just one breast per feed and see what he does - he'll soon let you know if he's still hungry.

Your letdown will improve soon (speaking from experience) and I'd keep doing all the self-care things on your right breast - heat on it, massage etc just in case. But as Fmshields says if it's making you miserable then stop. Breastfeeding is great but not at the expense of making you feel awful.

Thanks both for replying. He usually starts crying when I try to put him onto the other breast but I do think he's still hungry because he will cry after few mins of coming off the first breast and try rooting etc.

I think I'm going to switch to FF. Hope I can stick with my decision this time as I've already said that twice. I really don't know why I keep putting myself through this. Anyway thank you!

I never fed from both sides so agree about not bothering to offer both. Does he just want the comfort of sucking more? You could try a dummy after a feed?