BF nightmare-dreading next feed

[NickyEds]

Desperate for advice. Sat with 11 day old and dreading next feed. He's been on and off feeding ok until today and now I can't get him to latch on properly. my nipples are in tatters (sorry! TMI) and I'm really tearful about it. I've found BF hard and have already got into bad habits- earlier I knew he wasn't positioned right but was just so desperate for him to feed so I could sleep I just powered through the pain. Using lanolin but does anyone know about nipple guards?- I don't want to wreck to mediocre work I've already done but will try anything. He's tongue-tied-might that have something to do with it?

Sounds like you have done great god knows I found it so difficult. My LLL said sometimes it takes them just getting bigger and that was my experience. I hope things get much easier I know once we got it we got it iyswim and it was definitely worth it :-).

DS lost weight-only a bit- but enough for the MW to take the Tt more seriously. Got referred and he's having a snip on Monday. Had total meltdown this afternoon and cried on my sisters shoulder for 2 hours. Made decision to top DS up with a tiny bit of formula. He took it so greedily I wish I'd done it earlier. Feel a bit better for getting something actually done. Anyone know what to expect of the snip?-traumatic?

It's nowhere near as bad as I expected getting the tt snipped. I'm sure that DP and I found it more traumatic than DS did! Our baby was swaddled and his head held still firmly, and then the midwife snipped the tt using a pair of sterile scissors. Our son cried at being swaddled and then stopped and made no noise when the snip was done. I sat away from him (ours was done privately at home) and sobbed whilst it was done but he honestly didn't feel it. There was a little bit of blood. The midwife then helped me latch him on in order that he got a good flush of breast milk for it's antibiotic properties. First time he had proper latched on! Even though I'm still using nipple shields he is feeding so much more efficiently since it was done.

Re formula top up- I felt EXACTLY the same as you, at 5am as my baby guzzled it and then slept for 4 hours. I was worried I had ruined my chances of breastfeeding, felt guilty that I'd given him formula, guilty that my tiny baby had been hungry etcetera. It's natural you feel that way; you love him. But you did what you had to, and your baby is fed and happy as a result. Try not to feel guilty that you didn't do it sooner, how were you to know?

I gave top ups for a few days and am now just breastfeeding, despite how upset and emotional you feel now I promise it will get better. I'm only 2 weeks ahead of you in a very similar story but it's amazing the difference in how things are going!

Can you get hold of a lactation consultant who might be able to snip the tongue tie privately (google for your area?) I saw one early on for DD's latch (shredded nipples) and it was very helpful - the cost was about 50 pounds but she saw me one-one for 90 minutes plus phone support afterwards which was a godsend, including showing me how to use biological nurturing which put less pressure in my nipples for a few days and improved the latch (DD had a slight posterior tongue tie but in the end I decided against snipping - sounds like you might need to have the t-tie snipped if it would help though). NHS is a few weeks' wait in my area and the LC can do it immediately. Seeing the LC was worth the money - a lot cheaper than formula long term!

Hang in there OP and maybe try the nipple shields, lots of lanolin, see if you can find a more comfortable position that helps the nipples - I fed lying down for months! - I know well how it feels to dread the next feed! Hope it gets better for you soon xxx

Nicky you're doing brilliantly with the bf and to keep going. My DS is 10 weeks old and TT was only identified at 8 weeks so I know exactly how you feel. Having it cut wasn't too bad. She cried for a minute and I bf her immediately as she was handed to me (have your boob ready ;-)) and it felt a little different immediately. DD is still getting used to her new tongue but it gets better every day. Don't beat yourself up for using anything that will help : a little formula, a bottle of expresses milk, shields (which I found a god send but buy the small ones unless your baby is very big). And remember you're doing an amazing job!

Nicky - you've made a decision that it is right for you at the this point in time.

Express when you can to keep up your supply when you offer a top up.

This tt snip on Monday is a great result - well done you!