Is cosleeping essential for successful breast feeding?

[katemeister]

My daughter is 8 weeks (3 weeks adjusted age)and exclusively breast fed. On good days it's great but some days are a struggle (she fusses and bobs on and off so a feed takes a while). Whenever I read about ways of coping with 3 hourly and cluster feeds, cosleeping and feeding lying down are mentioned and glorious tails of everyone sleeping through feeds - neither have worked for me. I have tried lying down in hospital but it was uncomfortable for me and my DD kept nodding off, not on the boob) I have not tried cosleeping but am not keen (love the concept just wouldn't feel safe as I sleep heavily).

I'd love to hear from people who didn't cosleep or feed lying down who breast fed just fine, or whether it really is the holy grail of maintaining breast feeding through difficult times when I feel like giving up and I should bite the bullet and try it or invest in a cosleeper. Thanks!

I didn't co sleep with DC1 and co slept for the first 2-3weeks only with DC2 both were breast fed until 13months. The thought of co-sleeping scared me & I knew it wasn't what I wanted long term.

I did for the first few weeks with DC2 as he was very difficult to settle and having another child meant I couldn't catch up on sleep during the day.

If your baby is your first/only definitely take advantage of their naps to get a little more sleep yourself.

There is loads of good advice on here re safe co-sleeping if it is what you choose but it isn't essential to successful breast feeding.

Either way it does get easier.

Congratulations on your new baby!

No, IME you don't need to cosleep to successfully breastfeed. I just kept mine in a cot close to my side of the bed.

I am co sleeping and nursing my 7 month old and FWIW it took us a bit to get it right! It is lovely to just be able to insert the boob and go back to sleep :o but if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. You'll be fine without cosleeping.

No!!! My babies weren't co slept n both fab feeders

I didn't co-sleep and I couldn't master feeding lying down either. I also used to take baby out of our room to feed at night so as not to disturb my husband's sleep (regret this a little but hey) and I'm still breastfeeding at 7 months. He's a cracking little feeder.

Don't feel you need to do it and, to echo Finlaggan. It does get a lot easier. You're only in the early days so take it easy when you can. Sleep when they sleep. That'll really help.

Thanks everyone, all I seemed to come across were threads saying cosleep so nice to hear other views! I'm chuffed we've made it to 8 weeks so do feel we've almost cracked it but it's easy to start doubting things in the wee small hours (rest of my NCT group have one by one gone to formula so think I need to find some BF buddies for a bit of extra support). Thanks again!

I successfully breastfed without co sleeping. Sat in a chair, fed, put back in cot then went back to bed. My body learnt to adjust and I was able to get back to sleep pretty quickly.

I think it depends on the baby.
My dsis had babies that slept well, would feed and go straight back to sleep in a Moses basket or cot. They slept through by 6-10 weeks.
My dc were non sleepers. If I hadn't co slept, I would have had no sleep whatsoever.

If you're happy enough no co-sleeping/feeding lying down then carry on as you are!

It took til 6 weeks for me to get feeding lying down, but the difference it made to the amount of sleep I got then was amazing. I'm not someone who does well with sleep deprivation though and and need at least 8 hours a night I think I got less sleep when DS moved into his own room at 6 months than I was getting at 6 weeks! I hated having to get up and feed in a chair.

Fot the first few weeks I feed my lying down, but always put them back into the cot after a feed. But wouldnt have them in bed with me, as everyone I know that coslept has had babies that suckled a lot at night and went on to keep them awake til they were old.

I can't survive without sleep (due to mental health problems), so knew for me this was key.

The feeding was fine (hard work at first as it usually is) but then great.

I tried feeding lying down a couple of times and got milk all over the bed! Never again. I think my breasts were just too small, or ds didn't suck in the right way maybe. I used a very comfortable high backed chair instead and just dozed whilst the babies fed and then we both went back to our respective beds. I didn't co-sleep because for me that just meant no sleep as I couldn't relax.

I never could feed lying down and hated co-sleeping, dd breastfed till 19 months, ds is 4 weeks old. Congratulations

My little chap is 12 weeks and we don't co-sleep. He is in a bed nest next to me, but I can pop up the side at night and not have to worry so much. We breastfeed, and i don't necessarily think that co sleeping would have helped up any.

It took a while to get lying down feeding. I don't think he was big enough to really get it until he was about six weeks, and he was a big baby. I'm sure my positioning might have been improved, but it just didn't work for us until he was a bit bigger. We fed using cradle hold at night, and when he fell asleep, he was put back to bed. We now sometimes bring him into our bed after his first morning feed - about 7am, but to be honest, this is kind of for us to have a snuggle with him, and we're pretty much awake from that point.

He sleeps pretty well at night now, sometimes needs a bit of help to settle if he wakes after being out back in his bed, but it's not so bad.

I think if you've got to eight weeks, then you're pretty much there with it. Sounds like you're doing brilliantly. I still doubt myself from time to time, but I know that we're fine with this really.

Is there a breast feeding cafe near you? I've found these really helpful when I was having problems, but also incredibly welcoming when things were going well. It might be that you can lend some moral support to someone with a smaller baby too!

I could never sleep lying down either was not comfortable and didn't work for me, no co sleeping with my dc and I bf for 21 months.

That's a good idea about a breast feeding cafe - get support and might help my confidence giving support to others. I am in awe of the ladies that can feed lying down and cosleep, it sounds great but good to hear people managing in other ways too. Might practice the lying down thing again - was difficult in hospital with a small baby and felt like my nipples were to upward pointing (sorry for humble brag - I am sure they won't be so perky for long!)

My first baby, we didnt co sleep and i did not breastfeed lying down with her...and I breastfed/expressed breast milk to feed using bottle for 13 months! So it can work...the first 3 months were very difficult (had to pump all the time!! until at 3 months she started feeding beautifully from the boob...thank goodness!)

Now, second time around I co sleep and breastfeed lying down a lot.

Evidence suggests that those who bed share breast feed for longer than those who do not. But that does not mean that you won't be successful if you don't bed share.

It will get easier, she is still so tiny. Cluster feeding, fussy days etc are the norm. You sound like you are doing a wonderul job of listening to ehr and being led by her.

As she gets a bit bigger her feeds will settle a bit. She will become more interested in the world around her and have more defined periods of "play" before she decides she is hungry. Of course she will also still have fuss pot days when she is glued to you .

You might also find as she gets bigger that you can feed in bed more easily and then pop her back into her crib afterwards. Have you considered a side car arrangement? You can take a side off the cot and bring it up to your bed so that it is level, it makes it nice and easy at night to feed and then to scoot the baby back over into their own space afterwards. You don't need a specific co sleeper, you can do it with a normal cot too then as they get bigger and (hopefully) sleep through the night or move into their own room you stick the side back on and use it as a normal cot again.

No. What I did always do was let baby cluster feed all eve at this age ie from 8-11ish they would half feed/ half sleep in me on sofa. From 16 weeks I rarely fed overnight 11-7am ish as they didn't really wake for food as had been fed on demand all day

Nope, I know lots of people who have bf and not had their babies in their bed all night.

I would have loved to co-sleep and feed lying down but I am small boobed and could never get the angles right with either of mine. I just had them in a Bednest up against the side of my bed and sat up in bed to feed until they went into their own rooms. It is possible to nod off while sitting up once they are a bit bigger so you can get a few power naps in.

DD fed until 15 months and DS is 12 months and still going. It is possible. Babies are hard work whatever you do.

Good luck and congratulations - especially on getting a preemie to bf which can be extremely hard work.

Some women find it helps and makes breastfeeding easier. I am one of those women. But it's each to their own. If it helps great do it.

I never co-slept with DD but I bf her for a year.

When she was little she slept in a Moses basket next to the bed and I would just scoop her out, feed her sitting up, then put her back without properly waking up.

Once she went into her own room I would go in and feed her while sat in a rocking chair, but it was only once or twice a night by then and I could still do it half asleep.

I miss bfing twas lovely

IMO, no, not at all. But it helps a lot to have your baby close enough that you don't actually have to get out of bed to feed them. Cot pushed up to bed is fine.

I never liked feeding lying down (uncomfortable, felt unsafe if I dozed off) and DS always needed a burp after night feeds, so I had to sit up anyway. Was no additional bother to reach over to the cot and plop back afterwards

My DS was slightly prem too (36 weeker) and we were strongly advised not to co-sleep, at least before 3 months of age. I know some people on here disagree but I personally didn't want to risk it. So no routine co-sleeping, but still EBF at 10 months.

she fusses and bobs on and off so a feed takes a while

Have you had her checked for tongue tie? Bobbing on and off and fussing sounds like possible tongue tie issue to me.

DD was also prem, 34 weeker and lying down feeding didn't work for us until she was much older and I'd got her tongue tie fixed. I'm not sure whether it was her small size or the tongue tie that meant it didn't work when she was younger.

I hardly ever co slept or fed lying down and BF till DD was a year old. But I nearly gave up many times until we got her tongue tie diagnosed and fixed.

That's a very good point about the burping - I'd have to sit up anyway! Interesting you were advised not to cosleep with your prem lo, my little girl was a big 35 weeker (7lb4) so a lot of HCPs seem unsure how to treat her. Really nice to see the whole spectrum of what works for people.