dont think I can take it anymore!

[justalilmummy]

I'm getting to the point where I dont think I want to breastfeed anymore!
My ds is 4 months old and feeds soo much almost every hour and only sleeps for 45 mins at a time
Every single night I have to hold him for 3 hours while he nurses hes not even eating just using me as a dummy and its driving me mad.
I have another child who I cant spend any time with coz the baby just wants to be held and fed constantly will never be put down
Ive just tried to put him down for the 4th time since 7:30 didnt work and now hes wide awake again and I have to feed again, but I just want him to get off me!!
I think it's about time I stop but I feel so guilty about it I was so determined this baby wouldnt have formula as I only made it to 6 weeks with my older boy
I feel so bad for my older one as hes behaiviour has gone off the rails and I know its because of the amount of time the baby takes up feeding, I cant even take him to the park for half hour and actually play with him as baby wants to be held and fed!
I dont really know what I want with this thread just need to vent as currently all I want to do is cry as I want to chill out but cant as baby wants feeding again

No advice really and sure someone more helpful will be along soon, but just to say that I really understand how you feel, as your baby sounds just like my DS, now 3. DD is a much less frequent feeder than he was, and if I'd had them the other way around I'm not sure I'd have managed ebf.
You have done amazingly well to get this far, you should be proud. But equally if you do decide to mix feed or ff, you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.

You've done great to get this far! I only have one young baby and he's so much work, not sure how I'll cope with more!
I'm not sure if it'll help but I know some people use slings to hold and even breastfeed babies hands free.

You've got to do what's right for you and your family and if that means ff then you shouldn't feel guilty. Being stressed isn't going to do you or your DC any good.

Thankyou, I gave him expressed milk in a bottle over Xmas evening so I could have a drink and I just felt so much more relaxed and he seemed more satisfied and alot less fussy
Ive been feeling like this since then really but having an argument with myself in my head!
Hes finally dropped off at long last!
What makes me feel guilty is that my reasons for wanting to stop are quite selfish, I want a drink sometimes in the evening/ would like to be able to just pop out for a couple hours without all the planning, pumping and worrying about whether hes got enough etc
But also my poor other son I feel like a terrible mum recently I just feel like I always tell him hes got to wait and get impatient with him, I want our relationship bac, want to spend time with just me and him as I really miss that
I'm gonna stick it out tomo and if I'm still feeling the same I might start introducing at least one bottle throughout the day

Another thing which might be a bit silly is when I changed from bf to ff my other ds he gained weight at an alarming rate, went from just under the 50th to the 99th in about 6/7 week's, this worries me as he was so huge, the hv didnt believe I hadnt weaned him onto solid foods
I worry he will do the same which I know doesnt really matter as my ds1 is perfectly healthy now but was very large up until about 3

Has it always been this way? Because four months is a prime age for difficulties- Google the four month sleep regression and the wonder weeks. Is there a bf drop in/ cafe near you? They're not just for newborns, you'd get some good tips I expect from those who've been there, done that.

Well done on persevering, sounds very tough. Especially with another child.

Hes always been a very regular

Feeder but in the last 3/4 week's the night troubles started he wont go in hes bed wants to feed on and off throughout the night
Starting to feel like the sofa is a prison!

Sounds like the 4 month thing, and I would hope you'd be coming to the end. Embrace the sofa! Some babies (not all for sure, wouldn't want to give false hope) if allowed to feed feed feed all evening, will go longer later at night. Things def got easier with my DS when I stopped trying to put him down and just fed him and watched box sets. You can have a life and bf. You can have a couple of drinks.

Can you get some advice in rl. Maybe get checked for tt or an insufficient suck or latch. There might be more to it, but if not a few things. There is a sleep regression at 4 months it drove me crazy. I bf number 3 and had to abandon all my parenting ideas from the other 2 ff babies. Bf babies don't use you as a soother I discovered, soothers are designed to replace bf :-). That means looking for comfort at the breast is totally normal and most bf I met use bf as more than food. I swore I would never co sleep that went out the window with my bf little man. I fed lying down, he slept, I slept. I had 3 sides of the cot up beside me and I moved him into the bed as and when we needed it. I found that once I abandoned all my ff ideas and spoke to bf parents especially ones who managed to keep it going long term I got brilliant tips that made it so much easier and tbh it would not have been possible to bf with my original expectations. By shifting my expectations bf became so much easier than I imagined and actually I found it much easier than ff once we got into the swing of things which did take 4 mths as we had some serious difficulties.

There isn't any tt hes just a little and often feeder
Its alrite really when eldest is at school I can sit and feed to sleep which takes a while!
However when ds isn't at school whole other matter!!
I dunno just feeling a bit stressed my it all really and wish I could just give baby to dp for a couple of hours every now and then so can spend tine with ds1 but feel guilt as I know bf is best for baby! I feel a bit torn between the 2 atm
Everyone said it gets easier after 12 weeks we'll
I'm still waiting!

I regularly gave ds to DP to take him out for a walk/ out of my hair. Going out in the buggy was ds favourite pastime so it was win win.

My 2 ff both has undiagnosed/ mis diagnosed tt which was how I ended up ff glad you had that checked it was a nightmare. Ds was diagnosed but it was a challenge to find someone to diagnose ptt.

I do know what you mean about being hemmed in sometimes because of the ptt ds was a little and often feeder too,especially in the early days but there are ways around it. I did give bottles of expressed milk from time to time to get time out so that might work if you want. Solids in a short while makes a huge difference because the baby can be left with water and solids which makes things easier to get out and about. Getting out with my older children was important to me so I felt like I was getting proper time with them too.

Both mine went a but nuts feeding/waking at 4 months, it seems quite a common thing. (loads of posts on here about 4 month sleep regression)

You can totally have a drink in the evening, as long as you're not drunk! Only a tiny amount of alcohol reached your milk. There was a post about it recently if you scroll down a bit.

Definitely worth trying a sling to get some hands free time with the older one, little one gets cuddles and sometimes has a nap etc. there its a slings and pullbacks bit on here in the products section where you can get help choosing something to suit you.

Slings and backpacks even!

as one poster mentioned above I still kept my baby in my lap feeding/dozing in the evening rather than trying to put him down earlier. Meant I could relax and watch some TV or even have a glass of in peace. We also had a wee travel Moses basket thing to put him down nearby and not have to go far if he woke.

evolutionaryparenting.com/guest-post-breastfeeding-and-alcohol-consumption/

Recent link about alcohol. :)

You poor thing

I know exactly how you feel! When DD was 3 months we had 5-6 weeks of hell- she woke every hour-hour and a half for a feed. She was waking and couldn't settle herself back to sleep without a feed. The health visitor suggested putting her in her cot in her own room. The first night she woke twice and OH managed to settle her. The second night she slept 7pm till 2am and then every night she slept a little longer.

Tonight she slept from 7pm until 4:40am (the longest stretch yet!) I however couldn't get back to sleep because my body isn't used to such a long stretch of sleep! I'd rather do this than the routine we had before though!

It's a big step but maybe worth a try if your LO has their own room?

Just remember though it WILL get better

Hi. Well done for feeding for so long. It is tough. Especially with another LO. I found this part really hard too. Can u set a time limit? Review it in a week for example? I did that a lot and always found it had got better in that time. I know it's been going on for a little whole but if u objectively sit down and think in a weeks time it may help. Also second learning to feed in the sling and co sleeping.
This period feels so long but it's actually really short. You're doing a great job!!!

I never really managed feeding in a sling, but just fed, changed put in sling and generally baby dropped off pretty quick. :)

As PP said I did become a reluctant part time co sleeper at this point just to get a bit more sleep. I still put baby back in the cot if I was awake when he settled, but if not got a bit more rest beside him.

4 months is great. Your baby has been given a brilliant start to life. But you have to do what you think is best for your whole family. It must be hard, but you really shouldn't feel guilty if you start with formula, 4 months is a great achievement. Good luck whatever you decide.