To give bottle or not?

[threetogo]

Hi all,

just wanted some advice. Im exclusively breastfeeding my 7 week old dd2. Some days she can cry a lot and at those times my breasts comfort her even if she is not really feeding if you know what I mean, like she is using me as a human dummy.

Im worried that I don't have enough milk and that this is why she is feeding all the time? My MIL has said several times that I should give her a bottle and is undermining my confidence in bf. This is especially true as I had to do combination feeding with dd1 as I didn't have enough milk and she was dehydtrated.

I have done a bit of expressing after feeding to try to get my milk up. Dd2 does have periods of contentment during the day and I think its just that she loves being in my arms with a boob in her mouth!!

But some days are mental and u cant get 5 mins to myself, this makes me wonder should I give her a bottle?

She will be having growth spurts so needs to feed more to tell your boobs to make more. All normal in the early weeks!

So in short, no I wouldn't.

Have you ruled out tongue tie?

If her weight gain is fine and plenty of wet nappies then it's probably just a growth spurt. Ignore your MIL and trust your instinct.

And she's not using you as a dummy. A dummy is a "dummy nipple". Babies use dummies as replacement breasts. She's acting as nature intended. You are responding to her needs and you are a brilliant mum.

Build a nest on the sofa, and ask MIL to bring you drinks and entertain your other child(ren) if she really wants to be useful.

Thanks,
No there is no tongue tie and I have been really lucky in that my nipples haven't got sore and I don't find breastfeeding painful (since the first couple of weeks anyway).

I found myself getting embarrassed at in laws that she was wanting to feed again. MIL has said the past 2 times that I should give her a bottle. I just ignore her but might just stay away from her for a while!

Her weight gain has been ok, HV isn't concerned and is very supportive. Plenty of wet nappies, dirty ones only about 1 every day or two?

Sounds perfect to me. I remember getting pressure (she wants another feed?!) and I ignored it or would explain that she's only little and 4 hourly schedules are outdated now.
Carry on as you are.

You need to get the idea that you're 'not making enough milk' out of your head otherwise you will feel undermined.

It's a complete myth-your body makes exactly what your daughter needs, it's just that she needs to tell you when she needs more, which she does by sucking. Even when it doesn't feel like she's feeding, all the time she's suckling it's a valid part if the process.

If MIL is giving rubbish advice just don't include her in the details or ask questions-simply tell her feeding is going well, then she won't have an opening to undermine you.

Ok thanks, feeling better about carrying on now!

Sounds like your doing a fab job x

Your MIL is very wrong. Everything that's happening right now is spot on and you're doing a great job. Have faith in yourself.

At 7 weeks your supply is getting established and so the more baby feeds the better. Introducing a bottle, where there is no real need to, may affect this. Even non-nutritive sucking (ie using you as a dummy) is totally normal.

It will get easier.

Just to add: I found weeks 6-8 particularly full on too. It was like one long growth spurt!

This is a tricky time because inexperienced folk expect you to have 'got the hang of it by now', so if baby seems to not be getting enough it must not be working.

Keep doing what you're doing, and practice the forced smile. Or do what I did when well meaning folk suggested a bottle; I told them I'd tried but he wouldn't take it! Hard to argue with a breast feeding mom as you're in sold charge of all things food-related so who's to know the truth!

It sounds like you're doing wonderfully to me, everything seems just as it should be/as you'd expect.

I'm a peer supporter and EBF my DS, having BF DD for over two years, but there are times when if I didn't know better I might have doubted my supply. Things must be much harder for you with presumably well meaning relatives suggesting there's maybe a problem too.

Does going to a BF support group sound like something that might help? You don't have to be having problems, it's a nice way to meet other Mums, who happen to be BF and you can sound off to them if you need to. The La Leche League meetings are nice as they're quite informative too as they have a discussion in the first half of the meeting, then chat/tea/coffee/biscuits in the second half. Toddlers or older children are welcome too.

Fab support on here! You sound like you're doing perfectly! Can I just say, I gave in and started bottle feeding and my dd would still feed little and often, every 60-90 minutes at least until she was about 12 weeks. Stick with your instinct and tell MIL where to stick hers!

I have a mixed fed ds. He cries and fusses sometimes - wind, tiredness, for cuddles. My point is bottles don't magically stop babies being babies. Keep up the good work!

I'm feeling a bit like you. Ds is a bit older, 13 weeks, and ebf. over Christmas were staying at my parents and they're always commenting on how often I'm feeding and for how long. I've been made to feed upstairs when people come round and missed out on dinner and presents etc. my mum is pressuring me to start weaning ds or switch to formula as he's "obviously hungry " and she ff me and gave me baby rice at 6 weeks. Feel like crap tbh. It's hard but try and stick to your guns and do what you think is right for you and your baby

I really wish the government would put on a wall to wall inescapable 'what BFing is really like' campaign targeted round Eastenders, coronation street and what ever other Crap DMs and DMILs watch.

Sadly it's never going to happen so you are stuck with, smile and nod, or do fuck off and mind your own business. Sadly the latter tends to offend

Its good to know im not the only one experiencing this, thanks for all the kind responses.