Tips please

[highlove]

I'm 29 weeks pregnant. It took a few years of trying and tons of medical intervention to get this far. Obviously I've still a way to go yet and not taking anything for granted, but assuming all goes well I'm really desperate to BF and it all go well - everything so far has been so medicalised/unnatural and generally made me feel like a bit if a failure that it's really important to me that I can do this. So just that really - what are the very best tips you wish you'd known? And any good books you can recommend?

Thanks in advance.

Food of pove by kate evans
Mumsnet itself
Getting out and about to where other mums are breastfeeding. If you're finding it hard ask someone to show you. Talk to midwide. Nct groups.
Good luck. But please dont build it up. Chances are your breastfeeding will be completley free of difficukties but if it's not dont worry. Persevere wirh bf as it is important tk you but if you decide to give bottles do not see it as failure on your part or any reflection on your role as a mother.
Congratulations and good luck!

Food of love not pove :o

Also remember you cant overfeed a bf baby. Feed according to their cues. If theyre clean and dry then offering a feed can never hurt. Feed to sleep. Dont worry about routines or "rod for yohr own back". Do whatever makes your life easier and accept that you are likely to be feedi g a hell of a lot in the first few weeks. It will get better.

One thing I would like to have been told is that it is hard at first but it gets easier! I had difficulty in the first six weeks and it took a lot of perseverance to reach that point then suddenly it wasn't hard any more, didn't hurt and I began to enjoy it.

Local bf support group was a godsend for me too!

I devoured the breastfeeding boards here. Learnt everything I needed to know, and despite a tricky start (low blood sugars, jaundice, ten days in hospital, tube feeding etc) we're ebf at 9 weeks.

If you want to feed, just remember that your job for the first 6 weeks is to keep the baby alive and get your supply on top form. Nothing else matters. And boob is generally the answer, whatever the question.

Oh, and finally, whatever Tiktok says is gospel truth. The kindest, most generous and knowledgable mumsnetter I've ever come across.

Read up, lots and lots.

On here, Kellymom site, the womanly art of bf book.

Find a local support group.

Have bf helpline numbers already on your phone.

Read up especially on demand feeding, cluster feeding, growth spurts, normal newborn sleep. So that you know what is normal bf behaviour.

I bf ds 1 for 18m and am bf ds2 15 weeks. I found the first few weeks so so hard but after that it's the easiest, loveliest thing in the world.

Get them to teach you how to do it in hospital before you go home.

I had to learn how to do it.
Latching correctly is crucial and can be a deal breaker. Get them to show you how to do it.

It takes practice and time to perfect, so be patient, it could take a week or more to get it right.

Don't plan on doing anything else for a week or two. Literally plan to just feed feed feed. This is vital. It takes focus and determination.

Prepare to be exhausted to the bone. Sleep when baby does. Even for just 20 minutes or half an hour, pack as much in as you can.

Bottles of water are your friend. You will be thirsty, have a bottle of water with you always, also snacks. Eat.

Good luck x
Ooh and congratulations xxx

Don't plan on doing anything else for a week or two - or a month or three in my case!

I never imagined the feeding would be so relentless so I was grateful I filled my freezer to the brim beforehand with casseroles/stews/currys/spag bol - you will need all the nutrition you can get for zero effort.

Day 4/5 if things don't come naturally, which they don't always, seems to be the hardest point. Exhaustion, milk only starting to come in, aches from the birth.
I wish I'd trusted it would get easier and had someone there to tell me to relax and trust my body.

Have faith - when he/she feeds very frequently all the time some days don't worry that your supply isn't good enough. Just go with it and let your baby feed as often as they want to. Breastfeeding is very different to formula feeding in that respect. See kellymom for some great advice (and reassurance) about cluster feeding.

Ah good luck, I have three IVF babies and maybe know a little how you feel. DS1 ebf for 7 months (stopped to start IVF again) and DTs ebf for 2 months then mix fed for nearly 7 months so far (vast majority of feeds are bf).

My tips would be do not worry about your supply if they are feeding a lot at first - they have to feed a lot and for a long time because they can't get much in their tummies and in order to build your supply up. As you both get better at it and their mouths get bigger all will get easier and more efficient.

If you can afford it, investigate breast feeding consultants now that could come to your home. You may not get great advice in hospital and so it's really helpful to have someone a phone call away who can come in the early days to check your latch. If you can't afford it get to a bf cafe/meet up as soon as you can as posters above have said.

Also talk to your partner and any family members who may be supporting you in the early days about your intent to bf and how important it is to you. DH has been v supportive which has made a big difference especially when DM isn't so much!

Cluster feeding like a demon is normal and exhausting. But don't put too much pressure on yourself. There's no reason why you can't breast feed but if for some reason you can't or decide to give a bottle do not feel bad about it!

Have breastfed two babies and much enjoyed the experience. Both babies had tongue ties and one severe and persistent thrush. Neither issue is often picked up quickly so if you experience latch issues or constant feeding (past the initial first few days) it's always worth checking the frenulum for a tie or asking the paediatrician when they check baby. Oral thrush is a white coating on the tongue or cheeks and can be passed back and forth between you. Don't want to appear negative at all as both things can be remedied but often the cause of feeding issues and wish I had known these things when baby arrived...

Best of luck and do what works for you, breastfeeding or no.
Merry Christmas.

Thanks so much everyone, all really good stuff - I'll save this link as well. My plan for maternity leave is to read this forum a lot more.

Thanks. And happy Christmas!

Find out about your local branch of La Leche League. You can even go to one of their meet ups while you are still pregnant and ask questions about what to expect in the newborn days. You can get the number of the local leader who you can ask for advice if you run into problems. Also find the numbers of the breastfeeding helplines. Midwives and especially health visitors are very varied in how much they do or don't know about breastfeeding. Find out if there is a support group or baby cafe in your area. I went to a lovely group in my local childrens centre and got great advice there and made friends too.

Reading up in advance is helpful to a certain extent. As well as the books mentioned above, I found Baby Led Breastfeeding useful. Ignore any books that go on about a strict feeding/sleeping routine - these just do not work in the first months of breastfeeding, you have to take each day as it comes. Definitely make sure your DH understands some of the basics about breastfeeding.

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding is excellent. I would recommend putting the bf helpline numbers in your phone so you have them to hand.

Stuff that helped:
Lansinoh
Hydrogel breast pads (store in freezer - lovely!)
Breast shells so you can walk around in clothes but still avoid chafing.

HTH

Bookmark kellymom
If you can afford it find a lactation consultant near you (ideally IBCLC qualified) and have her to come round in case there are issues. If not local bf groups and la leche league meetings.
Have help in the first month for house stuff, even if bf goes well it will be intense, you will be sitting under a baby a lot.

Good luck!

Hi, I was determined to breastfeed too and I was glad I was prepared at least by knowing it would probably be difficult at times.

I don't know what other areas are like but where I live there are health visitor support people who specialise in breast feeding. Ask at the hospital before you're discharged & ask your midwife about it - now, and then when you get home. One came to my house 4 days in a row including weekend days and gave me a feeding plan to help me with cracked nipples & latch issues in the early days.

Other tip is if you need a break - especially at the beginning if your nipples are sore or you're just shattered, don't be afraid to express a feed. Others may not agree, but this saved me.

The other thing that helps massively I think is if you have a supportive partner.

Good luck!

Ah big congrats, how exciting! Like everyone has said, it's not uncommon for there to be a few hiccups to start with which at the time feel like a massive deal but when you look back they will just be a blip. Lots of babies are too sleepy to feed to start with or have issues with latching, things like that, but this is all totally normal and as long as you get some support it won't stop you. On the other hand it could all go perfectly as that is possible to.
My biggest advice is to surround yourself with other breastfeeding and like minded mummy's as the best way to learn is by seeing it and talking to someone who has resently experienced it and the best support will come from the people who will cheer you on when things get tough, not suggest formula to you.

And don't wait to ask for help or advice, the earlier you sort any issues out the easier they are to turn around.
The fact that you really want to do it is a good sign as it can be exhausting and there maybe times when you're ready to reach for a bottle but if you are determined to breastfeed you are more Likely to succeed.
I found learning about why breastfed babies feed the way they do really helped as it made all the cluster feeds etcmake sence.
Good luck!

Hello,

I just wanted to offer some reassurance. I had a high risk pregnancy and spent most of it medicated and in and out of hospital. I think all that worry meant that as soon as DD arrived and was healthy I just totally relaxed.
I can recommend lansinoh cream after every feed to start with and although you might get sore, it does get easier. I also used jelonet inside my breast pads (tiny little squares of healing gauze). They were a life saver and really kept me going. you can get them online. My DD is now 1 and I've just stopped feeding. It has been a wonderful bonding year xx