Ready to give up

[Sid77]

My 10 week old, ebf DS2 is really going for it at the moment. Tonight, he's been feeding from 6pm and is still going. He has only slept about 2 hours (2 naps on me and a couple of dozes) since 730 this morning and will not now go to sleep. He has been v unsettled for the last week and at night is only going 1.5 hours between feeds. We co sleep (him on my chest) and if I feed him lying down its worse as he just will not stop - for hours. I have had hardly any sleep for weeks and just feel like a wrung out rag. I long to put him to bed at 8, have some dinner and share my bed with DP. people will come telling me to enjoy newborn cuddles. I would, if I could, but he's like a vampire. I have a sling, he doesn't like it. I can't sleep when he does in the day as a) he doesn't and b) DS1 won't nap. DP is ace, but he has to work. All I do us feed and feed and feed. When will it end? Should I give formula to settle him? The feeding is relentless, surely this must mean I don't have enough. Sorry for the rambling post, but I am at the end of my tether. And by boobs have totally run out.

You really sound at the end of your tether. Big hugs.

Formula will not magically make him go to sleep at 8pm.

Is/has he been putting weight on consistently, producing lots of dirty and wet nappies? If so, I doubt that you're not making enough milk. Around 12 weeks is the second growth spurt.

Can you express at all?

I wondered about a growth spurt too - can you stand to keep going another couple of days to rule that out? Sending you a ton of sympathy - sounds like you're exhausted.

Regarding the formula - it might not magically make him sleep better. However, it might give you a bit of a breather from the relentless feeding, you might only choose to give one bottle a day. Or a dummy if he's just using you for comfort. Neither of those options are everyone's cup of tea but I have known individuals who've benefited from using them when they decided the time was right. I guess only you know whether either is appealing to you at this point in time. FWIW things got significantly better for us at 14-15 weeks but babies are so individual I don't know if that helps!

Oh bless you that sounds tough. It does sound quite normal though. Have you had any real life support? Might be worth getting his latch checked on case he's not feeding very efficiently. If you cam one of the national bf helplines they will give initial ideas but also refer you to local support.

Can you sleep while you feed on your side? There are safe co sleeping guidelines on the Isis website I think. Kellymom is also a good resource.

One feed at a time. This too shall pass! You have done brilliantly to get so far.

Is there a sling library near you? There are so many types, you might find one to suit. If he sleeps on your chest you could wrap him skin to skin and he might nap. Hopefully your DP might have time off over Xmas and give you a break?

My DS was worst in the evenings. It was easier fit us when I gave up trying to put him down or go upstairs to feed. I just sat on the couch, DH sorted food and we watched box sets together. It got easier.

Your boobs are never empty btw. I know it feels like it!

Oh you sound exhausted how horrid and it's hard to see the wood for the trees. Like others said he might be growth spurt or perhaps bit under the weather and feeling clingy Keep going if you can and you want to but it's not the end of the world if you decide formula is the way to go.
My mum said to me, when I was desperately trying to BF my twin DDs, that you can't tell whether a baby is BF or FF but you can tell a baby who's mum is fed up and exhausted. Do what's right for you right now and don't feel guilty.

That sounds really rough, sympathy to you.
But remember, by doing all that sucking, he's putting his order in for the the milk he wants tomorrow. He's getting ready to have a big growth spurt.

I remember that feeling, like the everything is wrung out, the marrow has been sucked from your bones (melodramatic me!) but your breasts actually make milk faster the less milk is stored in them, so he'll be getting loads
I found that having DD in bed with me fir the first half of the night around this time really helped. She could suck for hours if she wanted, and I could doze. It wasn't brilliant sleep, but better than none. (and yes, boo sucks to all that sleep when they sleep guff - she never went longer than 20 minutes in the day until about 8 months old!)
And just when I was about to give up, she calmed down. You will get through it. It will pass. And after about twelve weeks, the whole BFing thing will be a breeze and you really start to get the benefits of doing it (the ultimate convenience food )

Wow, thanks for all of your comments! It's good to know that there are others who have experienced similar - I don't remember it's being like this with DS1. He is producing lots of wet and dirty nappies, so my rational brain knows he must be getting enough, but it's as though he always wants more. Well, in the evenings anyway. He won't take a dummy - although I have only tried one type, so might get a different one and try again. My DP is off over Christmas, so that will help. I feel sorry for him at the mo as he's in from work then sorts out our DS1 and puts him to bed, makes dinner, does the present wrapping, clears up - then collapses! He is great actually, am v lucky. I think I might try expressing so that he can take a bottle in the evening and give me a breather. I don't want to go to formula in case it messes with my supply - as you have all said, I've come this far and would hate for it to go wrong now! Hopefully it is a growth spurt that is going on for ages and it will soon be over. He zonked at 11 (just after I'd posted, maybe it was the fear if Mn that sent him off!) and went nearly 5 hours for only the 3rd time ever so here's hoping that things will change soon! Thanks again for taking the time to respond

I'm glad to hear DH is supporting you, it makes all the difference.
My mum always used to say to me that I was tanking her up for a good sleep (hence why I didn't have to keep her in bed all night!).
Sleep well

Sounds like a growth spurt. It will get better honestly. You are doing a great job. Can you sleep at all available chances. Bugger housework - stop visitors if they don't come brandishing a cooked lasagne. My dd is 16mths and I still often go to bed at 8!! Bfing in itself is demanding on your body. Eat copious amounts of choc - have a flask of tea under your pillow. It will change but right now you really need to look after yourself. Hugs and congrats - still a tiny baby really xxxx