Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Others opinions about Breast feeding in public

8 replies

HoneySonny · 19/12/2013 14:18

What to say to someone (MIL) who seems embarrassed for other people having to see me breast feed? This was the case with my eldest who I BF for 6.5 months & now with my 4wk old. I have just had a bit of an argument with her & she told me I'm very touchy & she can't say anything. Maybe I was a bit about a couple of other things regarding the baby. I said who cares & it's not like I get my boob out so everyone can see. I'm very careful & would be self conscious
as I don't want everyone seeing my boobs anyway. But when people make a big thing about it then it makes me feel more awkward about wanting to BF in public.

OP posts:
StickEmUpSideways · 19/12/2013 14:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
HoneySonny · 19/12/2013 14:25

Exactly!

OP posts:
callamia · 19/12/2013 14:31

Could you ask her to watch the reactions of the people around you? When she sees that no-one cares, no-ones even notices, then maybe she'll realise that the world has moved on, and babies are fed everywhere now.

It's ok to be 'touchy' when someone is telling you when and how to feed your baby. Should you just stay at home until they're weaned? Stick to your guns (boobs), and feed your baby whenever you like. You're right, and your MIL needs to update her thinking.

AMuppetChristmasCorral · 19/12/2013 15:19

I had a similar situation with my MIL with DS1. I said, as politely as I possibly could I wanted to yell! that it was my decision to feed my baby this way, it was what was healthiest for both of us, and DH was fully supportive of the fact. I suggested that when she was the one paying for formula, getting up in the night, sterilising and making up bottles then she could have some say in the way we chose to feed, but that right now the decision was nothing to do with her. I then also pointed out that until she made a fuss nobody in the cafe had noticed that I was feeding, but many had turned around as soon as she drew attention to the fact (I think they were hoping for a fight Smile ).

She ignored me for about ten minutes (oh so mature!) and then apologised. I think the fact that I was very matter-of-fact about it helped. Do you have the kind of relationship with her where you can sit down after an argument and discuss what led to it? It might help clear the air and stop things building up again...

MostlyLovingLurchers · 19/12/2013 15:46

This may be what you need!

ifbreastfeedingoffendsyou.blogspot.co.uk/

Original poster
HoneySonny · 20/12/2013 05:31

Yes, we're pretty honest with each other & had a big blow out when my first daughter was a baby. Basically she needed to be put in her place due to not supporting our ideas, not listening to our ideas & being forceful with her own. There were many issues!! I think she realised & she is generally full of praise after we have achieved something. For ie, we decided it was the right time to potty train out eldest just before she was 2 as she was showing she was ready. Well MIL not really supportive or encouraging then totally full of praise & impressed 2 weeks later when DD1 had achieved it!

With regards to breast feeding, I've never totally discussed her awkwardness about it. For eg if we are out shopping & baby needs to be fed she makes a point of finding a place in the cafe/restaurant that is private. Or at a family party she said 'Oh don't worry, you won't see anything'. Then what annoyed me yesterday was that I was telling her about her hungry my baby was the previous day when DH & myself where at Homebase having a two hour meeting about a new kitchen. I was saying that I had to pretty much feed dd the whole time & was before we left too. She was asking was it a man & I said no & what does it matter anyway. She was going on about how embarrassing for a man it would be. That was the point I snapped & said 'It's not like I get my tits out for everyone to see!' These were more of my ecxact words as I was more polite in my previous post!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
HoneySonny · 20/12/2013 05:34

Thanks ladies for comments. I must just say in my MIL'd defence that actually she is fabulous & couldn't do more for us. I love over in NI & my family are in England which I find very hard, esp with kiddies but she is like another Mum to me. We just have our moments & it's much harder than being frank with your own Mum!

OP posts:
ilovesmurfs · 20/12/2013 05:51

My mil was like this, I ig ored her, she gotused to it, good job as with five kids I bfed for over nine years!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page