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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

40th birthday party dilemma

17 replies

clabsyqueen · 19/12/2013 09:34

My LO will be 5 months old when its my 40th (3 weeks away). Grandma has offered to take her away for the night so I can let my hair down. She's never accepted a bottle since leaving hospital 2 weeks old (not tried too hard mind you) and feeds for comfort many times a night. Doesnt like a dummy. Would you out her through a night of possible hell and hunger to enjoy your 40th?

OP posts:

tiktok · 19/12/2013 09:42

You mean leave your baby overnight, not just the evening?

Things to consider if this is what you mean:

you will be very uncomfortable and will almost certainly need to find somewhere to express
your baby will be aware you are not there....really, it's not just the milk at this age...and will be confused and possibly unhappy (though of course she will get over this and not be permanently scarred)
if you feel your baby will be going through 'hell and hunger', how will you enjoy yourself?!

Is there not a compromise here - an evening away rather than the whole night?

minipie · 19/12/2013 09:50

No I wouldn't. Not a 5 month old.

I'd do an evening but not a night.

As well as all of tiktok's reasons:

when DD was still feeding multiple times a night, I'd have been too tired to really let my hair down anyway. Any evenings out tended to finish by 10.30, 11 latest as I was a complete lightweight and was knackered by that time.

if DD wails all night (quite likely) you might put grandma off babysitting for a long time. Not worth it! Better to let grandma have a lovely experience of babysitting during the evening (does DD sleep ok during the evening?) and feel well disposed towards doing it again soon.

Original poster

clabsyqueen · 19/12/2013 18:19

Thanks ladies. Was kind of hoping for a 'you go and get your dancing shoes on, you're only 40 once!'
I had only ever planned an evening out but its soooo tempting to really go for it. Seems like soooo long since I did.
Will try again with a few bottles over the next few weeks. Wish me luck

OP posts:

KikiShack · 19/12/2013 18:33

good luck getting her to take a bottle, and let us know how you get on. I have a bottle refuser I'm trying to work on every weekend and I'd like to know there's a chance it's worth all the hassle of pumping, sterilizing and tears to one day have a night out again!

rachyconks · 19/12/2013 18:40

I would do it but only if DD was established on a bottle first (of EBM or formula). It's not fair on her or the person looking after her to leave her hungry and upset.

ShoeWhore · 19/12/2013 19:30

Sometimes though they will only take a bottle when they know you're definitely not an option!

I'd arrange an afternoon out and leave your dm with a bottle of ebm and see how she gets on.

Would another option be a night out but Grandma babysits at your house and gets up with the baby in the morning too? I know you couldn't let your hair down in quite the same way but a lie in would be a great birthday present! (even if you had to do a quick morning feed first)

superzero · 19/12/2013 19:38

I had an EBF 3m old when I was 40 and just celebrated at home with a birthday cake!
Is this your first baby?
Once they are over 6m and weaned,it's so much easier to leave them,if it's going to be stressful going out in 3 weeks,just postpone it for a couple of months when you can really enjoy it.
If you are determined to go out that night I'd just go for dinner and take the baby in a buggy,hoping that they sleep

HappyAsASandboy · 19/12/2013 19:47

This might sound like a strange idea, but do you have any Breastfeeding friends that might look after baby for the evening?

I looked after my nephew while my DSis went to a wedding and reception (maybe midday until 11.30?) when he was 6 months old. He refused the bottle of expressed milk, but was very happy for me to feed him :) Went right back to his mummy when she returned and seems unaffected by the brief substitution of boob for a day!

We were lucky that out Breastfeeding days overlapped, but maybe you have a friend who would step in?

Original poster

clabsyqueen · 19/12/2013 20:05

Super zero - postponing is exactly what I had planned. Have a girlie weekend away planned for May when she will be weaned hopefully. However the few drinks in a pub has kind of snowballed with friends all making the effort to come from afar. Hadn't really expected that but now don't want to disappoint by sneaking to bed at 11pm.

Happy as a sand boy - that is a crazy idea! I'd do it though but don't have any breastfeeding friends currently.

I know that she accepted a small amount of formula from a bottle while I was at the hair dressers a few weeks ago but I arrived home in the middle of the drama and took over with the boob. She was mighty relieved. I do think if there's no option she'll take it. Mmmmm

OP posts:

leedy · 20/12/2013 12:48

I like the "grandma stays over and takes baby in the morning" plan.

Rhododendron · 20/12/2013 14:46

I would, as a minimum, make sure she was reliably taking a bottle before I went.

I had great difficulty getting DD to take one. Kiki, I suggest practising every day not just every week! A complete nightmare to do all the expressing, but worth it when it pays off!

More tips: Try:

bottle given by mother ... or by father
bottle given with baby cuddled close ... or sat facing you, eg. in a bouncer
bottle given when half asleep, in car seat
make sure expressed bm is very fresh, and warm to body temp

Original poster

clabsyqueen · 20/12/2013 20:12

Thanks for the tips rhododendron. Will try every day the week prior and see what happens.
Good luck Kiki! Fingers crossed we get our night out soon!

OP posts:

WaitingForPeterWimsey · 20/12/2013 20:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bellini28 · 20/12/2013 22:41

waiting how do you know they really miss you?? It's one night not one month!
I used to leave dd1 quite frequently overnight from 2 weeks old and will do the same next week, for first time with dd2 who is 7 weeks old. She will be safe, with family. Don't see the biggie. I'll express plenty and there will always be formula as back up in case of emergency.

OP try to get her to take the bottle. If it works don't give it another thought... Go and enjoy your 40th. Baby will still be there in the morning!

WaitingForPeterWimsey · 20/12/2013 23:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bellini28 · 21/12/2013 03:44

Yikes! You may be right. I was only saying to DH how much more of a huggy baby dd2 is compared to dd1 and that I wasn't sure about leaving her.... All be it from night till following morning.

I would hate the thought of her being distressed in anyway. ( though she will take an expressed bottle just fine) Do think we mummies are allowed time out though!!

Original poster

clabsyqueen · 21/12/2013 12:19

Thanks ladies. Truth is I'm not confident that Ill get her to happily take a bottle between now and then but was contemplating just letting her suffer for one night (she will take a bit of milk when shes really hungry I reckon). Sounds cruel I know but she'll have the loving arms of grandma and ill have her her back in my arms within 12 hours. She won't starve but she will most likely be distressed at times. I think I can handle it and so can grandma. We'll see. I'll probably wuss out last minute.

OP posts:

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