stopped bf at five months after baby had bronchiolitis and feel very guilty :(

[nataliereed1990]

My baby went through a terrible time with bronchiolitis. I tried everything to breastfeed him still but had to express as he just wouldnt take the breast due to breathing difficulties.i pumped as much as I could but had to start him on fomula too as I just couldn't pump enough. After a few weeks I tried breastfeeding him again and he refused. My hv said it was probably a nursing strike and it would soon pass, but it didnt. I carried on pumping for as long as I could but he really wasnt intrested in breastmilk any more and would spit it out where as the formula he would guzzle down.as well as feeling useless when my baby was very poorly I also felt cheated into having to stop breastfeeding.i just want this guilty feeling to go away... :( x

When did this happen, natalie?

You tried very hard to continue breastfeeding - nothing to feel guilty about.

You are understandably sad and disappointed - but no need to blame yourself.

Some threads which might help you:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/breast_and_bottle_feeding/a1472947-Anyone-else-a-failed-BFer#31776326

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/breast_and_bottle_feeding/274983-omg-you-d-think-i-was-feeding-my-3-week?#5504964

They're linked with my analogy of having bought a ticket for the breastfeeding bus, but ending up on the formula feeding bus instead :)

You feel discombulated and out of control even....and you may need reminding you love your baby the same, you have the same hopes, the same protective pride in him, and all that has changed is he gets his milk differently. Nothing to be guilty about at all.

I stopped completely two weeks ago. I think its because I loved the closeness when breastfeeding.i feel empty bottle feeding him and almost "wasting"perfectly good milk of my own.

I really feel for you OP. My little boy was prem and exclusively had breast milk for his 8 weeks in hospital, but all given through an NG tube and then a bottle as he wouldn't latch at all. We went home bottle feeding EBM but I couldn't express enough and so we had to add in formula. Eventually got some decent breast feeding support (the support on SCBU was suboptimal, to put it mildly) but then I got thrush which made it excruciating. I ended up on antifungals and domperidone to try to keep my supply going but in the end I wasn't expressing enough to make it worthwhile and so I stopped when he was around 5 months old.

I was really gutted as I'd just assumed that I'd feed him until I returned to work, and the few times when breast feeding was really working for us, the closeness was just lovely and I resented that most of the time anyone could feed him, when I wanted it to be just me.

He's 3 now though, and I have got a bit more perspective on it. I think you need to bear in mind that a) breast feeding doesn't work for everyone, b) sometimes issues get in the way, especially health ones, that make it impossible, c) you have breast fed him for the most important weeks of his life so you will both get the health benefits from that, and d) last time I checked, they don't put arsenic in baby formula and I'm sure he will thrive on it.

natalie you can recreate the closeness of breastfeeding with a bottle - feed responsively, hold him skin to skin when you can when feeding, and make sure you are the principle feeding person :)

You bf for 5 months. That's excellent, and a wonderful start to your baby's life. Then circumstances completely beyond your control intervened. Honestly, it's fine. You sound like a great Mum.

Happy Christmas!